Have you seen this viral video yet? The first person to give us this bitch’s name gets a gift card.
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I have no idea what the hell was going on this past week but there have been crazy bitches everywhere. Anna Storelli started the madness by having a mental breakdown in California over two people kissing. Less than a week later, this ratchet douchecanoe pops off in the Bronx. Seems her Uber driver didn’t have an iPhone charger and she went full hoodrat. Watch it here:
I want to know who this chick is. I was up until three last night trying to find her. If you know her, and you’re the first one to send us an anonymous PM to the Turtleboy Sports Facebook page. I’m offering free swag in the form of T-Shirts if you’ve got her name. Bonus points if you’re her friend on Facebook – and can give me some good screenshots – I’ll send you a $25 gift card to the Cheesecake Factory.
Totally serious. I want this girl’s name. Bad. It’s completely anonymous. Y’all know you love some cheesecake.
Anyways, let’s do the breakdown of this Thotzilla:
As I mentioned before, this started over her phone dying and the driver, who may or may not be Über Gandhi, not having an iPhone charger.
She starts screaming at him, in what sounds like a hoodrat mantra, “CALL THE COPSCALLTHECOPSCALLTHEFUCKINCOPS,” all because he wants her to get this mental case out of his fucking car. He’s just like WTAF?
Then she starts wailing about how she’s going to say that he hit her. Alright, if this was me I would have pulled the car over, ripped her out by her fucked up weave, and curb-stomped her. Or fed her trashy ass a snickers. However, this bitch ain’t Aretha.
Not this driver though, he handles it like this is no new thing for him. She keeps going. She says that when he drops her off her boyfriend is going to beat the bag out of him. Yeah. Like any of us would keep going.
Then, we finally see the Thotzilla’s face, which is when she realizes she’s being recorded. She don’t give a fuck. People like this never do.
Right around then she says she’s going to spit in his face. That’s when he finally pulls the car over and tells his government cheesehog that he’s not moving. She needs to get out.
She accuses him of bugging out, says she’s going to pop herself in the face, and then tell the cops he hit her. She says she’s going to start kicking the seat. Über Gandhi even pulled over next to a train station so she wouldn’t be stranded. Guy is a class act.
“You think because you see me driving that I’m nobody – that you can disrespect me,” he calmly says. “You can be like that with your boyfriend but not with me.”
That’s when Thotzilla comes out with her “I don’t give a fuck about you. Go back to your country. Donald Trump gonna send you and your family back. Get the fuck out of my country.”
Your country? You ignorant cunt. I assure you that you are living here in the backs of the taxpayers. The only reason anyone would be this entitled is if they’ve been given a free ride. My family has been serving in the military since the Revolutionary War. Über Gandhi can stay and is welcome. He’s a hardworking guy with class coming out the ass. You can get the fuck out and leave your free healthcare, food stamps, EBT cash card, baby daddies, and camel toe pants you bought at Bronx Bling Bling right here. Bye Faqueefa.
“Thank you. I appreciate that,” Über Gandhi says.
Then Thotzilla kicks at him, moves to the other side of the car, and starts fake-crying out the window begging people to call the police.
So, someone must know this skank. Did you go to high school with her? Church? Stood behind her at the welfare office? Let me know first and you’ve got dinner on me.
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