All-Star Criminals

Tip-Stealing Wang Banger Posted Video Bragging About His $15 Haul Because He Had To Prove He Hit Puberty Somehow

"I Am Turtleboy" now available on Amazon

This might be the biggest heist in South Shore history and right after he made boom boom in the bathroom like a big kid! 

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

 
On today’s episode of “special kind of asshole” we are meeting a dickless wangsta by the name of Justin Pierce. He’s from mean, unpaved, streets of Caver!

You know the type…

God thinks you’re an asshole and hates your hat. 

Justin, in all his infinite stupidity, has been openly bragging about running in to a Coldstone Creamery and stealing $15.50 by grabbing the tip jar. If that’s not dumb enough – the dickless wonder decided to video his crime and post it on Instagram and Facebook to prove he can use the potty like a big boy! 


Dumbass didn’t do it during the height of ice cream season – he picked a record-breaking cold night when no one is in the mood for frozen goodies. Wicked Smaht.

Oh, and aside from his fabulous choice of derp hat – this Caucasian cock smootch thinks he’s a member of the MBK gang. I wonder how many asses there are to cap while you’re sack-deep in Ocean Spray bogs and shitty rural cell service?

I guess anything can seem like Compton when you’re high on heroin? 

So, whatever you do… Don’t blow this little queef up and message him to tell him what a piece of shit he is.

Oh, and remember that snitching him out to the cops is most likely going to result in you getting pelted in cranberries and forced to listen to his self-made rap recordings on SoundCloud because, you know, he’s a bad ass and totally has a few pubes.

 Get him Turtles! 

19 Comment(s)
  • Attention Plymouth P.D.!!!!!
    November 22, 2017 at 7:55 am

    259 Meadow Street, Carver ma. This heroin waste bag needs to be arrested. The crime was in Plymouth. So I really hope they are going to do their job and arrest and charge this little twat like they should,!since he robbed from a store. Yes it may have been a tip cup, and that actually makes it even worst. A young kid probably his age who was WORKING was robbed and they deserve justice. Please Plymouth police get off your asses and go get him. What more proof do you need that this was a robbery. Put him in jail in GENRAL POPULATION. Let him see how tough he really is. Cause that’s this little fucks only chance. His father is a good man a hardworking good man and single father. He has been putting him throw hell. After mom decided to leave them for her junkie Mr. Amando Ferreira, lol (google that name) which lasted all of a few months… their father stepped up, took full custody of these boys and they have never wanted for a thing since. He is their emotionally and physically as well. So believe me Dad is doing his best, but he isn’t getting through. Please do something. You have got to arrest him and let all these fake gang bangers know that this isn’t okay and will not be stood for! Please their are many more crimes you don’t even know about. And there will be a lot more to come if something doesn’t happen.

  • hahahaohreally
    November 21, 2017 at 3:35 am

    why can’t these guys find hats that fit? Don’t they sell bulls hats in boys sizes for these pea-brains??

  • Chip Striker
    November 21, 2017 at 12:50 am

    This is obviously from the Coldstone at Derby shops in Hingham.

    I’m sure Hingham P.D would like to see this video, what a fucktard.

    • Zippity Hoo Ha
      November 21, 2017 at 12:02 pm

      There’s a Cold Stone just over the line from homeboy’s crib in the Colony Place shops in Plymouth. My guess is Vanilla Ice’s bastard child hit that one, then scooted away with his haul on a trike. Time to ring up the Plymouth and Carver PD’s!

      • Chip Striker
        November 21, 2017 at 9:46 pm

        Your right, it is the Plymouth one.

        I hope he dies.

  • Webster Turtle Rider
    November 21, 2017 at 12:48 am

    This kid thinks he’s cool stealing from good kids trying to make money. This is the most PATHETIC thing I’ve ever seen. And to make a video while doing it. I’m sure he’s too pussy to actually rob anyone that would fight back. I wish he fell trying to get out.

    • MOM
      November 21, 2017 at 5:49 am

      This kid is a pussy. It’s not like he comes from a bad family either. Time for Dad to send him to rehab and get him the help he needs. Mom walked out and abandoned both her kids for a junkie when they were toddlers. Guess he never stood a chance with her for a mother.

  • I scream for ice scream. You scream for your tip cup
    November 20, 2017 at 9:16 pm

    Stealing $15.50 from Coldstone won’t even buy you a medium cone there. LOL

  • Mat
    November 20, 2017 at 7:01 pm

    Shouldn’t he be arrested for this? Isn’t this robbery?

  • Some Guy
    November 20, 2017 at 6:29 pm

    OK, I guess I am ignorant to this… What the fuck is up with all the gangstas wearing Chicago Bulls hats? Does anybody know why they are all attracted to the Bulls?

    • MrSmiley
      November 20, 2017 at 8:29 pm

      Bloods. Whether wannabe or real. Guessing wannabes but all the big gangs opened the doors to other races. Little white boys tend to do the errands and cleaning. Great example look up: Kyle Kennedy hahahaha

    • Webster Turtle Rider
      November 21, 2017 at 12:40 am

      I’ve also wondered about this!! Hehe

  • Wtf
    November 20, 2017 at 5:55 pm

    Is it wrong to wish some
    Real gang members would start picking off these little douchebags??
    Make it a thing on ratchet island , like hunger games.
    It would be over so quick it would take care of them all.
    Just saying.

    • jackell
      November 26, 2017 at 5:33 pm

      Why the f&%k would we want to waste our good gangbangers on this cocksmooch? we have our own special kind of cocksmoochers up in Boston that need to be 86’ed first.

  • God
    November 20, 2017 at 4:07 pm

    Sorry I made you gay…..

  • Nope
    November 20, 2017 at 3:40 pm

    Gangs are for little pussies who can’t look out for themselves. What a wannabe little loser.

  • Fanoturtle
    November 20, 2017 at 2:13 pm

    the hat .. the fuckin hat ! just looks ridiculous. An og from the mean streets of carver … you need some fentynal.

  • November 20, 2017 at 2:12 pm

    Boonk gang!!!!!

  • Berries
    November 20, 2017 at 1:23 pm

    Your Grandfather a well known a respected man in the town of Carver must be rolling in his grave!! Grow up! Get off the drugs. You don’t look cool. You look like a douch bag.

Comment on this Post

*

RELATED POSTS
White Trash Hero Wears T-Shirt With His Mugshot On It From Last Time He Was Arrested At Latest Mugshot Photoshoot
Tsarnaev Sister Threatened Boyfriend’s Ex With A Bomb Because She’s A Muslim Terrorist And A Tsarnaev And This Is What They Do Best
Ladies Night At TBSports: Will Women Read Our Official Rankings Of NFL Teams Blog?