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Top 10 Fan Mail Hate Messages Turtleboy Got From Dirt Bikers This Week

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One thing we learned this week is that when you buy a dirt bike you are apparently joining a cult. Safety is gay and anyone who disagrees with you is a libtard. We’ve picked fights with plenty of groups of large amounts of people on Turtleboy before, but I don’t think we’ve ever seen the amount of true hatred and anger as we’ve seen from the dirt bike brigade. Here’s the Top 9 hate messages we received this week…..


10. Ryan Murphy

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“Cunt bag!!” “Chock on a big a dick.” This guy is pissed!!! And he’s totally not proving our point for us or anything like that!!

Would I rather it have been a video of a dad shooting his kid up with heroin? So many strong points being made here. Because there’s only two things you can do with a baby – ride around with them on a dirt bike or shoot them up with heroin. Evidently being concerned about safety of babies means that someone should put a bullet in Turtleboy’s head.


9. Josh Hacia



Wow, we’re getting some love from Connecticut now!! Bout time. Josh Hacia is a real winner!!!


Safety is for libtards!!!


8. Tyler Morin


We’ve been called a lot of things, but no one has ever accused us of being a “worthless puddle of dog cum” before. I mean, most dog cum at least has some value to shady breeders. Not us though. We are the rare version of dog cum that has zero resale value. Love this kid’s logic though:

“It’s basically fucking impossible to crash.” 

Two sentences later….

My father did wheelies with me on the front when I was a kid. Fuck we even crashed once.”

Brilliant. Also kids and babies are apparently the same thing.


7. Ryan Dowd



Anyone who believes in safety is a fucking pussy!! Also a faggot!!! So says this man:


Way to prove the stereotypes wrong!!!


6. Chris Lauro


Nice, now we’re getting hate from the Ocean State. Only a matter of time until every biker in New England messages us with hot takes!! Although I’m pretty sure his first two points are the exact same point – Turtleboy is too fat to ride a motorcycle. Not nearly as strong as point three about the cock slapping. I’m just happy they finally let gingers ride on bikes.



5. Matt Cornwell


Oh look who it is – the guy we wrote about two months ago after a Worcester cop was stabbed in the face and he implied that the cop probably deserved it because he was corrupt:

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Love it when these brilliant minds make a reappearance on the blog. Because one public shaming is never enough.


4. Zachary Nobrega


He was disappointing Turtleboy there for a second. At first he seemed like a reasonable human being defending a friend. Lame. Then the inner dirk biker in him came out to play and informed Turtleboy of something he is already well aware of – Mrs. Turtleboy wears the pants. Thanks for rubbing it in asshole!! Nice to see some Turtleboy hatred out of the South Shore though!!



3. Derick Miceli


So many strong points being made by my man Derick. Also noticed that the kid in the picture is clearly a toddler, not a baby, and also he has a helmet on. Besides that it’s the exact same thing. It’s cool though because he saved France a few months back.



2. James Miller


That is two spectacular sentences. What neighborhood parent wouldn’t trust their small child with this lovely man?


Oh yea, and one more thing:


“White power.” Just had to throw that one in there. This is apparently the voice of the dirt bike community. And here we were making broad generalizations about you folks. Way to prove us wrong!!

Oh yea, and here’s his old profile picture:


No clue who Kurt Caselli is. All I know from this picture is he looks like a dirt bike rider and he’s dead. Gee, wonder how he died:


Safety is wicked gay!!! Dying is cool!!! Stupid libtards!!!


1. Chad Farnsworth


You’re here to defend Momma Turtleboy? OK. Chad Farnsworth is a real winner too. He claims to be a bank teller:


And as you can see, he is the ultimate badass:






Lots of badasses watch the Disney Channel every night before bed


And tons of wangstas are Justin Bieber fans


Be warned – he has zero tolerance for hoes


He doesn’t care if he’s the most hated kid around


And he is not to be confused with the “cock express”


He also recently purchased a pit bull


Shocking, I know. And he recently got home from a quick stint in Norfolk County House of Corrections


No word on if their cable provider carries the Disney Channel. Safe to say he was the most badass person in minimum security prison though.

Anyway, these lovely creatures obviously taught us a valuable lesson. Here we were thinking that anyone who would openly advocate for a baby riding on a dirt bike was inbred redneck white trash. Turns out they’re all very reasonable, well-spoken sources of hot takes!!!

P.S. All nine of these rednecks are white guys. Tell me more about Turtleboy is a racist blog that picks on people of color though. Makes sense.


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19 Comment(s)
  • Tara Clark
    October 10, 2016 at 1:20 pm

    If only you had half a clue! I do not agree with a child being on a bike without a helmet but in all reality that child has a bigger chance of smashing his head on a playground. I know 3 young kids that were never injured on their bike but broke bones on the monkey bars. Life in general is dangerous but it should be lived doing what you love. I suppose it’s not dangerous to play hockey, gymnastics, soccer, ride horses, football etc. should children use a helmet 24/7? The language used was totally inappropriate but the motocross community is one giant family and we stick up for eachother. Half of these guys are at the races with us and have or would help us out in a heartbeat no matter what. It is a physically, emotionally and financially draining sport but you get so much from it. Not often does a teenage boy happily hop in the truck and spend the weekend with their parents and siblings. And YES “Lit Up” it is in fact a sport, there is not a single muscle in your body that is not used when you race motocross. Get your facts straight before u start typing! And Why on earth would you call yourself Turtle Boy… must be slow and shrivel up inside? That’s all I can think of! And did your parents ever teach you not to speak poorly of the dead…so disrespectful! Your a disgrace

  • wabbitt
    October 5, 2016 at 7:07 pm

    There doesn’t look to be a single ball hair between the lot of them. A bunch of guys who look like 12 year olds trying to be badass.

  • Dom
    October 3, 2016 at 11:14 am

    Keyboard tough guys are hilarious and the best part is that i do not think they know that most people laugh at them when they type this shit.

    Here is a fun game … Print out a copy of the crap they sent, track down parents or grand parents and send them a copy. Then sit back and laugh as they discover the true character of their polite and loving son/grandson.

  • Dick Hertz from Holden
    October 2, 2016 at 8:08 am

    Chad Farnsworth the biggest little pussy we’ve seen since the Rutland Wangsta, they look alike too

    • Libs and SJWs are Harming Our Kids
      October 2, 2016 at 9:39 am

      If I was named Chad I would probably feel the need to be a poser, too.

  • Lil Joey
    October 2, 2016 at 7:12 am

    Next April is my birthday and my mom says she will let me make a facebook page as long as she supervises it. I hope you look me up and rag on me too. You guys just love to pick on kids, it’s funny.

  • GoneWest
    October 2, 2016 at 2:15 am

    TB has a hard on for Pitbulls

    • Mirror Mirror
      October 2, 2016 at 9:35 am

      Nah… just the followers that have them as some status symbol showing how stupid they are.

  • Alexander Knight
    October 1, 2016 at 11:24 pm

    Love that Chad Farnsworth can afford to have the Disney Channel but his photo was taken in the (welfare) manet community health center. Methinks he should get his priorities straight.

  • JoeMomma
    October 1, 2016 at 11:14 pm

    Thank You! future organ donors.

    • JoeMomma
      October 1, 2016 at 11:15 pm

      (providing nobody needs a brain)

  • GFY
    October 1, 2016 at 9:42 pm

    Yeah, dirt bikes were cool….. When I was 10. Fucking grown men doing this shit. But when the most complicated mental process you can achieve is, “that thing make loud noise, me likey go fast” what do you expect?

  • Devils Mouthpiece
    October 1, 2016 at 8:41 pm

    Clearly, the one thing in common between all these Mensa candidates,,, severe head trama and a really low GPA.

  • JayC
    October 1, 2016 at 8:31 pm

    Wow, what an intelligent bunch that was. Judging by their writing ability it’s frieghtening to think that there are that many people from the bottom of the gene pool riding dirt bikes. That might be more dangerous than the original video.

    • Rusty
      October 1, 2016 at 9:49 pm

      Well, the one thing I can say for them is at least they keep it out in the woods.

      How the hell did the blacks and Puerto Ricans get into dirt bike culture and figure racing them up and down city streets was a great idea? Probably saw it in a music video, it’s where they get most of their ideas

  • Bikers Overcompensating in 3, 2, 1, ...
    October 1, 2016 at 3:23 pm

    Surprised they could read.

  • Lit up
    October 1, 2016 at 2:43 pm

    The best part of the whole thing was when someone called it a “sport”. A friggin sport….lol lol…oh my.

  • I love children
    October 1, 2016 at 1:40 pm

    shows how intelligent these people are by the language and name calling they need to use to try to make their point!

  • MRButthurt
    October 1, 2016 at 12:55 pm

    I seriously almost pissed myself reading this one. Fucking hilarious.

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