Turtleboy Brand Now Being Used To Endorse Ratchet Strippers At Palmer Nudey Bar
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Turtleboy has grown so big that our brand is apparently now being used to endorse strippers in Palmer at the Magic Lantern:
Turtleboy Sport? Is this a strip club or a Chinese restaurant?
But seriously, this is the greatest thing we’ve ever seen. By far our greatest accomplishment. Even better than our endorsement from the Hooter’s in Shrewsbury.
If you’re not familiar with Princeza Aponte, she’s the most legendary ratchet stripper of all time.
She was arrested in 2016 in a heroin drug bust. She got the charges dropped to possession. Then she was arrested again a few weeks back after a cop caught her pantsless, alone in a parked car with an open bottle of whiskey, and she kicked the cop who then had to tase her into submission. Only a few days later she was arrested AGAIN at 3 AM for driving around stoned, having cocaine in plain sight, and then trying to drive away from the state cop who pulled her over.
Look, we’ve got plenty of strippers in Worcester and all the other lovely cesspools across New England. But I couldn’t tell you any of their names. The mere fact that we can walk into a strip club in Palmer and know more people’s names than I would at the grocery store is an unbelievable feat. Only in America can a stripper become that famous by being that ratchet. Luckily she’s in the only line of work where you can kick cops, and get a promotion to headline dancer on Thursday nights.
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