Turtleboy Connecticut Corridor Bone Ride: Thompson, Putnam, Killingly, Sterling, Plainfield, Caterbury, Brooklyn, Pomfret, Woodstock

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Turtleboy Connecticut Corridor Bone Ride: Thompson, Putnam, Killingly, Sterling, Plainfield, Caterbury, Brooklyn, Pomfret, Woodstock

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So we’ve been writing a lot about the Connecticut Corridor because they seem to be a ratchet factory. Whether it’s some cheesehog from Danielson, or a gutterslug from Putnam, they’re always missing teeth and they always wear pajama pants out in public. We haven’t been on a bone ride in a while, and we obviously wanted to see what the ratchet nest looked like in all its splendor, so Turtleboy, WANDA, and the bone ride crew rolled up a fatty, gassed up the car, and took a tour of the CT Corridor. And as always, we ranked the following 9 towns we visited in order from nicest to crap happiest: Thompson, Putnam, Killingly, Sterling, Plainfield, Caterbury, Brooklyn, Pomfret, Woodstock. Join us in our journey….

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1. Woodstock

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Most of these towns are older looking and rundown. But Woodstock does a nice job at least trying to make itself look presentable. It actually has newer looking homes where the people seem to care about not making it look like a honey badger den.

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Mixed in with some older, big ass, but well kept up architecture that helps the town maintain its charm.

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Mixed in with the occasional farm

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Or boarding school

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The downside is that this is downtown

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And once a year they get invaded by the entire village of Southbridge for the Woodstock Fair.

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2. Pomfret

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Pomfret is basically just an older looking version of Woodstock. It’s filled with country roads

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Quiet streets

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And older looking, but not Walking Dead looking homes

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3. Brooklyn

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Brooklyn is pretty much the same thing as Pomfret except with a jail.

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Quiet, lonely country roads, decent looking homes, and townsfolk who seem to care about their property value.

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4. Canterbury

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Canterbury is the boonies. This is what a traffic jam looks like in downtown Canterbury

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Wild shit.

It’s the land of nothing but double yellow roads, sprawling farms, and the occasional shack that’s collapsed on itself.

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5. Sterling

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So, the first four towns are all on the west side of I-395. And apparently the highway is the dividing line between respectability, and ratchetness. Sterling is probably the nicest town on the eastern half of 395, but that’s not really saying much. Unless you’re into abandoned garages

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Neighbors who park school buses in their yards like Gary Busey

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Trash cars

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Neighbors who treat their yards like it’s the town dump

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Neighbors who never take out their air conditioners, no matter the season, and just crank their heat up instead.

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Neighbors who treat their driveways like a scrapyard of stolen vehicles.

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Other than that Sterling is just a bunch of row houses, isolated country roads, and the occasional pleasant looking piece of property.

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Just watch out for those killer gingers. They’ll get ya every time.

 

 

6. Thompson

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When you come to Thompson you have to take in all the sighs. From the rundown silos

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To the railway to nowhwere

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To the booming downtown of North Grosvenordale

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To the prime real estate available

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To the random houses with school buses parked in their yards

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To the non-functional stationwagons that have been converted to cars full of trash

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To the garages of enchantment

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To the passenger seat lawn decorations

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To the unabomber-style abodes

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Thompson does actually have some decent looking areas, the further away you get from North Grosvenordale

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But you have to keep in mind that you’re 10 minutes from Webster. And that’s never a good thing.

 

7. Plainfield

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Plainfield has some parts where you’re like, “oh, that’s not so bad”

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But then you start driving around and you start asking yourself, “what the hell is that thing?”

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Or “how many broken down appliances can you fit on your porch at one time?”

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Or, “why do so many people have couches on their front lawns?”

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“What happened to that car’s wheels”

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“Why is there a wagon wheel next to that fan?”

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“How many satellite dishes do you need on  your apartment before you finally get a signal?”

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“How much trash can one family produce in a week?”

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“Is there some sort of competition to see who can assemble the most random shit on their front lawn?”

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“How many people lost their jobs when the mill closed?”

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And finally, “how much for this parking lot of broken dreams?”

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8. Putnam

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The bad news for Putnam is they’re the town that got stuck with the Wal-Mart and strip mall:

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Which of course means every swamp donkey from Killingly and Plainfield is coming to Putnam to get their baby formula and Wendy’s.

They also stuck the courthouse here, which leads to plenty of Danielson’s finest ripping butts outside as they wait for their CWOF on the latest domestic charge.

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There’s a lot to do in Putnam. Like, standing on the sidewalk watching cars go bye.

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If Hitler invaded Putnam, he’d probably just let them keep it.

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I mean, what does the Third Reich need with all these campers

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lawn furniture

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Bags of trash

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Satellite dishes

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And abandoned shopping carts?

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Even the Fuhrer would probably just say “fuck it” and move onto Rhode Island.

 

9. Killingly

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Home to both Dayville and Danielson, Killingly is everything you dreamed it would be. The town of Killingly is apparently going for the “1945 Dresden” look.

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The gas stations double as houses of horror for the local children.

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Many locals have elected not to get rid of their broken down hippiemobiles, but rather to keep them in their yards.

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Others prefer the red rape van.

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Killingly has no shortage of guys standing around watching Killingly traffic.

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Other than that Killingly is basically just a bunch of rundown homes, satellite dishes, smokestacks, abandoned vehicles, and extravagant Connecticut Corridor lawn furniture.

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This trip was everything we dreamed it would be and more.

 

 

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Discussion

  1. ZephyrCat


    1) You must’ve been bored as fuckin’ shit today. 2) Thank you. I live in Ct & I rarely make it to this part of the state. Now I remember why.

  2. EL


    I got depressed looking at these pictures, I’m staying in Worcester

  3. Ez


    I should be upset since I’ve lived in this area all my life… but it’s all so true.

  4. Tired of Don't Snitch Pussies


    Banged a chick from Woodstock a couple times the summer after high school. Smoking body and horny as hell but not a great face. My buddy banged her less attractive friend – said she gave him the clap. Always used a rubber after that.

    1. Bornoutofwedlock


      Are you my dad?

  5. B-17 Flying Fortress


    Looks like the mill towns were going places at one time. Do like the Third Reich prospective on the valued towns. Dresden comment made me laugh out loud, first time today. Good piece.

  6. True Reality Speaks


    My old ULowell roommate had a pretty hot girlfriend he treated badly. I always wanted to hit it, and she knew it. Major tease. Never did try, though. Bro code – dammit.

    Now she’s a divorced MILF living in Pomfret Center. Still looks damn good. Should see if she would be interested in getting together.

  7. Rational Person


    Turtleboy, you are so gutless not to post a blog about what is going on at the City Council meeting right now. Gaffney is getting SPANKED by countless citizens who are clearly much smarter and more compassionate that he is.

    1. Lightbulb


      The normal people who support Gaffney and Lukes don’t show up to waste of time council meetings full of social justice warriors crying about their own privilege and who offer no help to anyone. The normal people (who have jobs the next day) are home waiting for voting day so they can get rid of Putty and a few more. What a waste of time of 3 hours. No real business was conducted last night.

  8. wabbitt


    Thompson is just Webster with worse drivers and more cows.

  9. Lost in ct


    Eh I live in the area, you’re no wrong but fuck you any ways at least most of the roads are better than Worcester and there’s plenty of options when taking a long bone ride.

  10. Jenny


    Being from this area and living in Sterling, you missed some of the most beautiful parts of our area. Its easy to get stuck on the crappy parts of every area…..why always go for the trash? And for those who dont want to live here well the reason we like country living is there are less people here……and we like that. Too bad you couldnt have seen the greater parts of each town.

  11. *****


    So standing in your front yard makes you a piece of shit and automatically judged as a scumbag creeping on traffic?? The three people standing out there aren’t even looking out to traffic. That woman is outside with her son and daughter in law. Her residence nor the street she lives on is as trashy as you portray it to be. FYI, the Putnam Courthouse is family Court. It has nothing to do with Danielson court matters. I agree these towns should have alot more upkeep through our communities, but maybe you should do some valid research before bashing anything you don’t have any idea about.

  12. Shana


    Seriously this article pisses me off. I know that our little corner of the world here in Brooklyn and the surrounding areas has its downside. But who the hell are you to drive around and only point out the shitty parts of these areas. I’m sure where you live isn’t perfect, and just because you add pithy captions your photos, doesn’t make this any better.

    To put it in perspective- those guys standing on the street in Danielson are waiting at a bus stop. And that mill that is being torn down is being made into condos. You take pictures and post this blog, but you really know nothing about what goes on around here. So, thanks for the snapshot of our lives.

  13. dick richards


    this is a poor excuse for anything. can easily tell you got boned :p

  14. sword_guy


    Very easy to make a region look bad when you only take pictures of the worst parts.

  15. sighly


    The yellow house in “Woodstock” 3rd picture down, arched window and little shed, is actually Fabyan (Thompson). Grew up next to that field before it was built.

  16. Dawn


    I like how you only drove down the roads with the shit houses. All these towns have roads that have beautiful houses and lawns. Most of the houses you are showing, are rentals that are owned by slum lords.
    Maybe you should take another drive, I’ll even tell you what roads to go on.

  17. Sheryl


    I would strongly recommend doing Nashua, Litchfield, Merrimack, Bedford, Manchester, Londonderry, Derry, Windham and Salem. Maybe add Hudson too. You have not done New Hampshire yet.

  18. Allen


    Haha. You’ve wasted nothing but gas and your own hot air,and increased your own carbon footprint that day driving around shitting on what’s actually a decent area minus the some undesirables that take up space in those little towns and make thier front yards look like trash. For the record the whole city of Worcester is a pile of trash, one of the biggest shit holes in the state of Massachusetts. Why don’t you drive around there and take 1,000 photos, there may be one nice one out of the 1,000 of crackheads,users needles and drunks laying on the streets. Clean up your own back yard before you go knocking on your neighbors door.

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