Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.
We get a lot of messages shitting all over us on a daily basis. But this is a first:
This is why we can’t wait for this election to be over. Because it brings out people like this. We couldn’t possibly be on record nearly enough times that we despise Hillary Clinton with a passion. But that’t the thing with these Trump people – it’s never enough. You can’t just vote for him because you hate Hillary. You have to be as dumb as they are. You have to believe that a magical wall will fix our problems with the millions of Americans who live here illegally. Failure to do so means that “your” Hillary’s bitch, and this great American right here will unfollow you:
Hey Dan Miville, don’t let our shell hit you on the way out. You won’t be missed. You were never one of us, and we couldn’t possibly be happier to disassociate ourselves from a moron like you. Look, we’re gonna have a REALLY hard time getting over the fact that you unfollowed us. Don’t know how we’ll survive. But while you’re off reading the Huffington Post in your turtle safe space, you should probably look into getting your car registered, insured, and inspected:
But of course we know that just like the rest of the butthurt patrol, you’re not going anywhere. You’ll be back tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that. Because you Turtleboy Sports is your drug of choice and you can’t get enough of it. Next time some trap queen from Spencer starts a fraudulent GoFundMe, or some ass wipe from Webster films himself getting his ass beat by the cops, you’ll be riding the turtle again in no time. They always come back. Always.
We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.