Turtleboy Ratchet Madness Round 2: Chudstuffer Region – Vote For Which Ratchets Should Advance To The Sweet 16
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The results of the second round of voting in the Cheesehog Region of Turtleboy Ratchet Madness is completed. Here are the four ratchets who will advance to the Sweet 16:
Alright, I don’t wanna overrule anyone here, but anyone who thinks Michelle DuBois can compare to the ratchetness of the Auburn Mall Cheesehogs simply hasn’t been riding the turtle long enough. It’s not even close. They fought in the mall in front of Santa Claus. There was blubber everywhere. Children are scarred for life. Michelle DuBois is ratchet…..for a State Rep. But they don’t even compare. The Mary Louise Hill victory was a slight upset, but I agree with it. She is extremely ratchet, where as the Plymouth Dumpsterslugs are more con-artists. I still like Trashley vs. Gabbie in this region with Trashley making the Final 4. Here’s what the Cheesehog Region now looks like:
Onto the Chudstuffer Region…
As usual we will be providing a brief overview of the ratchet things these slugrakes did to make it this far. We also include a link to a blog on each of them if you’d like to make a more informed decision. With that said, here’s our four matchups for today…..
Tony Deyoung is extremely ratchet, but he’s also a punk bitch who never made that Turtleboy diss track he promised. And if you don’t like his music he will ask for your address so he can punch you in the cunt. But the Uxbridge gypsies are a whole nother level of ratchet. Just watch the videos below. And that doesn’t even show the exorcisms. Wild shit.
This is a tough one. In hindsight the West Warwick ginger family was underseeded. Robert Kowalski might be the worst father of all time. Just a completely no fucks given grown up wangsta bitch who threatens to kill cops on their own Facebook page. But Sarah Burke had one of the greatest Facebook meltdowns of all time after we found out she was selling herself to the strangest men on the Internet on the same page where she was sharing pictures of her children.
Very different kinds of ratchet here. Heath Philip is a gangster felating piece of sewer sludge. She allowed a cop killing piece of shit around her child, and then memorialized him after he killed Ron Tarentino. She’s one of those ratchets you hate. Celia Mcauliffe is a ratchet who is here for our amusement. She gets in fights with 13 year olds. She hires hitmen to break Turtleboy’s knees and offers to pay them with blowjobs. And of course she laughed at everyone when she hired Attorney Richard N. Vulva.
10. Greenfield Chud Magnet vs. 15. Robert Alston
We’ve seen a lot of people selling food stamps on Facebook, but no one has ever sold them for as cheap as the Greenfield Chud Magnet, Tiffani Rose Martin. She’s also been arrested in pretty much every town in the 413 for every ratchet crime possible. Meanwhile Robert Alston has one of the most ratchet nicknames of all time – Boo Shameek. He was collecting checks from the government for work he wasn’t doing at Mosaic Cultural Center, and then he got himself caught about bragging about how easy it was to “play off that white guilt” in order to “build a conglomerate” of ratchetry. And of course he hates paying child support, doesn’t like the gays, and gets happy when people get cancer and/or AIDS.
Tough decisions folks. You have 24 hours to vote before we announce the winners and begin voting in the Trap Queen region, the final round of voting before the Sweet 16 beings. Who’s gonna win this whole thing?
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