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What a year it’s been for Turtleboy Sports. Over 20 million page views and counting. We started the year with about 21,000 Facebook followers. And despite three separate 30 day suspensions that number has doubled to 42,000. We’ve also got two backup pages with over 10,000 followers each when our primary pages are suspended. We’ve been featured on every major radio station in the Boston, Worcester, and Springfield areas, linked by major media outlets, and widely recognized as the only reliable media outlet in Massachusetts. We are an unstoppable force of nature, and we will not be defeated.
So what is Turtleboy Sports? We get that question a lot. Are we a news outlet or entertainment? The answer is, both. We’ve broken some major stories this year.
- We were the first media outlet to report the name of the man (Jorge Zambrano) who killed Officer Ronald Tarentino.
- We were the first to announce when he was killed.
- We broke the story about the corrupt daughter of a retired judge who continued to work in the probation department despite giving up names of informants to her criminal friends, and dating the brother of the cop killer.
- We were relentless in our coverage with the Spencer-East Brookfield schools, which culminated in a peaceful overthrow of School Committee chairman Kevin Hayes.
- We dug and we dug and we dug until we found proof that Mosaic Cultural Complex was paying its employees to do NOTHING, which forced the City Council to finally cut off funding for the fraudulent non-profit.
We also broke a buttload of other stories as well. But at the same time, Turtleboy lives to entertain. This is why you come here. And we do that by shaming people who have earned the shaming. Because sometimes people just wanna have a good ol’ fashioned laugh. Lots of people don’t like this because for years we’ve let them control the narrative. But not any more. From now on when you act like a fool in public, you will be publicly exposed by the Turtle.
With that said, it’s time to look back at the year in Turtleboy. We will be releasing our top 100 most popular blogs, 10 blogs at a time, so you can catch up on the debauchery. Each blog will be explained briefly with a limerick. We understand that many turtle riders jumped on mid stroke, so this gives you an opportunity to catch up on what you missed……
50. Worcester guy catches gravy dumpster taking a dump in his driveway – 27,092 page views
When you see a chick in your driveway
Taking a smash
There’s no need to worry
It’s just Worcester white trash
49. Springfield drunk driver who paralyzed Agawam student doesn’t think she deserves jail – 27,200 page views
A hit and run
Makes you spineless
We expected nothing less
From Springfield’s finest
Springfield Drunk Driver Paralyzes Agawam Teenager, Violates Bail, Says She Doesn’t Deserve Prison
48. Turtleboy catches Kevin Hayes doing contract work for Superintendent Tracy Crowe after giving her brand new contract – 27,520 page views
Was he doing contract work
Or having an affair?
Sucks to be him
Turtleboy is everywhere
47. 16 year old kid tells cops “that’s what he gets” after cop gets hit by car chasing him – 27,526 page views
Typical behavior
From shithead in the Valley
Mom can be found
Turning tricks in the alley
46. Jorge Zambrano supporters say dumb things – 27,653 page views
Jorge’s a punk
And probably a snitch
He shot Ron in the back
Cuz he was a bitch
People Honoring Cop Killer Jorge Zambrano While Black Lives Matter Remains Silent
45. Turtleboy tours Wal-Mart on Black Friday at 2 AM – 27,918 page views
Wal-Mart on Black Friday
Is literally bananas
Ratchets are everywhere
In their pajamas
44. High school girls become national villains in totally taken out of context picture – 28,246 page views
Taken out of context
Dumb joke by kids
They soon felt the wrath
Of the PC squids
Girls Who Wrote “NI**ER” On T-Shirts Are Basically Having Their Lives Ruined By The Internet
43. Hampshire College student Alec Larson says terrible things about police while working to build Malden Police Station – 29,231 page views
He thought he was anonymous
But he’s really a snake
Google won’t be friendly
To the little snowflake
42. Asshat steals kid’s Bruins hat while he’s opening presents at birthday party – 29,691 page views
While the kid was distracted
He couldn’t resist
There’s a special place in hell
For assbags like this
41. District Attorney Joe Early says he let Jorge Zambrano out of jail because prison wasn’t working for him – 30,509 page views
Gutless Joe Early
Allowed this attack
We expected nothing less
From a political hack
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1 Comment(s)
The girl who took a crap in someone’s driveway is absolutely DISGUSTING!!!!