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What a year it’s been for Turtleboy Sports. Over 20 million page views and counting. We started the year with about 21,000 Facebook followers. And despite three separate 30 day suspensions that number has doubled to 42,000. We’ve also got two backup pages with over 10,000 followers each when our primary pages are suspended. We’ve been featured on every major radio station in the Boston, Worcester, and Springfield areas, linked by major media outlets, and widely recognized as the only reliable media outlet in Massachusetts. We are an unstoppable force of nature, and we will not be defeated.
So what is Turtleboy Sports? We get that question a lot. Are we a news outlet or entertainment? The answer is, both. We’ve broken some major stories this year.
- We were the first media outlet to report the name of the man (Jorge Zambrano) who killed Officer Ronald Tarentino.
- We were the first to announce when he was killed.
- We broke the story about the corrupt daughter of a retired judge who continued to work in the probation department despite giving up names of informants to her criminal friends, and dating the brother of the cop killer.
- We were relentless in our coverage with the Spencer-East Brookfield schools, which culminated in a peaceful overthrow of School Committee chairman Kevin Hayes.
- We dug and we dug and we dug until we found proof that Mosaic Cultural Complex was paying its employees to do NOTHING, which forced the City Council to finally cut off funding for the fraudulent non-profit.
We also broke a buttload of other stories as well. But at the same time, Turtleboy lives to entertain. This is why you come here. And we do that by shaming people who have earned the shaming. Because sometimes people just wanna have a good ol’ fashioned laugh. Lots of people don’t like this because for years we’ve let them control the narrative. But not any more. From now on when you act like a fool in public, you will be publicly exposed by the Turtle.
With that said, it’s time to look back at the year in Turtleboy. We will be releasing our top 100 most popular blogs, 10 blogs at a time, so you can catch up on the debauchery. Each blog will be explained briefly with a limerick. We understand that many turtle riders jumped on mid stroke, so this gives you an opportunity to catch up on what you missed……
60. Spencer chick tries cutting off her boyfriend’s nuts in a motel room they didn’t pay for – 23,964 page views
When you date a chick like this
It takes a lot of guts
Cuz the second you’re naughty
She’ll cut off your nuts
59. Smoking hot teacher bangs 13 year old student – 24,003 page views
If you’re banging a student
One thing is certain
There’s plenty of room
Behind the beef curtain
58. Brockton woman beats dog until it pisses on the floor – 24,351 page views
She beats the dog
Till it pisses the floor
Nothing is too low
For this Brockton four
57. Ware asshole celebrates the deaths of Pulse nightclub shooting victims – 24,512 page views
Nothing is too low
For a Ware guter rat
You know he’s an asshole
Cuz of the Chicago Bulls hat
56. David Prouty teacher suspended 30 days without pay for raising money for a kid’s mother with cancer – 24,751 page views
A teacher was suspended
For helping Mom with cancer
So we overthrew Hayes
Cuz that was the answer
55. Water Street has turned into a World Star hip-hop breeding ground – 25,472 page views
Dudes yellin “we live”
With skanks in stilletos
When did Water Street
Get so damn ghetto?
54. Jorge Zambrano’s slampig gets her pitbull back – 25,659 page views
Nothing is too low
For this vile skank
Which is why she bangs gangstas
Cuz she’s a sperm bank
53. Kevin Hayes tells a kid to shut up – 25,765 page views
Is the ultimate villain
If he had an infection
I’d steal his penicillin
52. Plymouth clam announces that she stole a pizza – 26,687 page views
When you order a pizza
No one likes waiting
This chick made a bad choice
There can be no debating
51. Welfare rapper brags about using EBT at steakhouse – 26,879 page views
When it comes to prose
He’s no Voltaire
He pays for steak dinners
With never ending welfare
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