• Warren Swamp Maggot’s Fam Is Mad We Put Him On Blast For Home Invading Elderly Woman At Knifepoint, Girlfriend Is Keepin It 100

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    If your family member holds an elderly woman at knifepoint in her own home and we publicly humiliate them, you should probably be mad at your family member instead of Turtleboy.

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    Yesterday we wrote this assbag from Warren, who was arrested for armed home invasion when he held an elderly woman in Ware at knifepoint:

    Total swamp maggot.

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    Anyway, we figured this was one we could all agree on. I mean, who’s gonna stand up for an 18 year old trashbag who pulls a knife on an elderly woman in her own home? Then we got this message today.

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    LOL. Is there anything more comical than when people who don’t shit about shit start rambling on about what other people don’t have the “right” to do? Hilarious.

    Ya know who probably should’ve worried about this assbag’s grandmother and cousins seeing this idiot become Turtleboy famous? Him. Ya know, by not robbing an elderly woman with a knife. But please, tell me more about how he’s the victim here.

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    Wait….you mean he’s NOT a drug addict? So he didn’t rob an elderly woman to feed his habit? He did it because he’s an asshole? Well then, that makes him look WAY better. Thanks for chiming in fam!!!

    Luckily his girlfriend smartened up and decided that someone who could do this to an elderly woman wasn’t the kind of guy she wanted to be in a relation ship with.

    LOL. Just kidding. She’s keepin it 100!!!

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    Don’t worry hun, he’ll be out in 6-8 months just in time to reproduce. They might allow conjugal visits in the house of corrections. Not sure. They don’t sell condoms in the vending machine though. Not that you’d ever consider that possibility, but just in case.

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    P.S. Guess someone didn’t like our joke about skinny guys not getting credit for having six packs.

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    Discussion

    1. Parallel Universe


      Just talking about multiple felony charges. It’s not a big deal, like the victim will have mental issues for the rest of her life. The inbred mutations do have a point !

    2. MrSmiley


      Im feeling a Colrain revolution part 2. How dare you call our po dunk shit hole town exactly what it is!!

    3. Uncle Daddy


      How quaint, New England pillbillies defindin their kin.

    4. Buck Futts


      In Warren, they circimcise the boys by kicking their sister in the jaw.

    5. The poop hole loop hole


      What the fuck are they teaching these kids in school? It seems I cannot read a proper sentence anymore. No punctuation! Fucking run – on sentences! Anyone ever hear of a period or a comma?

      1. Sal Monella


        The regional High School is “Quaboag” which is Indian for “running bowels”

      2. juror seven esq,


        That’s part of the problem in Warren. Most of these sick chicks are missing periods.

    6. Independent Thinker


      What’s with all of these selfies of unattractive people in front of a mirror?

    7. Pickles


      I’m sure she’ll wait for him. 6-8 years is nothing. Just remember those who can’t add multiply. Just look at Warren.

      1. Bertha Von Nation


        “Those that can’t add, multiply.” Epic.

    8. Too funny


      The names of the people commenting are hilarious! Needed to laugh! Thanks

    9. JoeMomma


      Look at the bright side scumbag……
      If you had done that to my grandmother your family would be making funeral arrangements as we speak, and I’m not bullshitting.

    10. Orlando Williams


      The turtle does it again. Hahaha!!! Your my motherfucking hero. I get a kick out of the articles you write on a daily. Personally im over the top happy that you are here for my entertainment. There are so many stupid assclowns in the good old state of mass. People should be happy that there’s someone willing to say shit there to damn scared to say. Or there scared of hurting someone’s feeling. Well poor them lol. I say fuck that! If you do ignorant crap then you 100percent deserve to be called out on it. Keep it coming because I for one can’t get enough. Turleboy life forever baby!!!

    11. wabbitt


      If Scott Kimball looks up, he might see the joke sailing over his pin head.

    12. Rutland Rider


      Hey…GREAT. That shithead balloon knot has a grandmother. Let’s go rob her at knifepoint….see how Mr. Gang sign flasher likes THAT!

    13. The Warren Hillbillies


      Don’t forget an elderly couple was killed not too long ago near Athol
      by two druggies with a knife. That poor woman is very lucky she wasn’t knifed
      to death–please watch out for your elderly family/neighbors.
      I hope this ugly hick freak gets a long prison sentence.
      Folks in prison hate anyone who harms children or elderly,
      so once his prison roomies hear what he did, he’s fresh meat.

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