If you’re going to talk about someone licking your lady parts all over Facebook… you should probably make sure you don’t look like a dried Kleenex from the local Rub n’ Tug. Just sayin’.
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A couple weeks ago we featured a withered skank named Lori Smith in the Gabi Herbert/Brian Downes blog. As usual, under the news reports of people being stupid criminals, we had a woman who pulled the “snitch” card when someone said where Brian was hiding out.
Lori and Brian apparently have a history. Hope Gabi doesn’t find out. We all know how much she loves ladies who want to licked the dude that abandoned her!
Lori isn’t a big fan of we Turtles and something tells me that she won’t be too pleased with the fact she’s got a whole blog to herself after opening her yap for her boy Brian. Homegirl is talking about alimony? Seems like everyone who has ever known this broad felt compelled to message us to say that this woman took home anything that would pay attention to her. That she cheated on her ex-husband with more guys than we can count. That sort of sends your claims for alimony down the pooper. I think the only person that didn’t message us was her ex-husband! (Feel free to buddy!)
We also received another message that said Lori had apparently attacked an elderly, handicap, woman she was related to. She was arrested for assault and battery because of it but I guess it didn’t make the papers.
Slopmop Smith, who we’re told loves her booze and coke, has been living off the system for the better part of 20 years. She’s applied for disability more than three times and continuously gets rejected for it. That might be because it’s for people who actually can’t work and not ones who choose to stay drunk, high, and whorey. She lets underage folks party at her house and will try apparently try to nail the kids that drink there.
There is nothing underage hooligans love more than is finding someone three times their age, who probably smells like a gas station bathroom, to hook up with! Barf. #notamilf
It shouldn’t be a surprise that she actively boasts about her horrific sexual conquests all over her Facebook page. Can you imagine diving in to that dusty junk box? It probably looks like one of those evil worms from Tremors.
Lori can’t work because she is usually too busy talking shit about her kids, her ex-husband, and all of her court dates. Your kid needs help and you make it about you being butthurt. Nice. It also speaks volumes that the kid would rather sleep outside in Febtuary than be with his mother. Yeah. Happens to me all the time. *throughEvery single time I’m in jail I hear people I know being called. Every. Single. Time. It’s like… constant. Christ, that happened to me yesterday! Pissed me right the fuck off too! If you’re too busy updating Facebook about sending your kid to jail… you might be a shitty human/parent. Meds which I’m sure you would love to help yourself to. I also really respect that a gaggle of grown women are crapping all over a young girl who had zero chance with a mother like hers. Women like Luann: Luann looks just like you thought she would. If this face doesn’t scream “Walmart Cashier” I don’t know what does. I bet you cash money Luann keeps jars of gravy in her neck fupe, for roast beef moisture, when it’s love-makin’time with big daddy. Here’s a Redwood for scale:Oh look! It’s our old pal Brian! He gives good advice! I love it when South Shore Turtlemom openly talks about me being on the rag. It’s the latest rage. Right along with menses parties.
The ex-husband, mind you, probably spends most of his time in police station trying to find a way for them to enforce the restraining order he had to put on her.
Rules don’t apply to Lori. She’s doesn’t have to work. She doesn’t have to pay rent. She doesn’t care if her license is suspended. She doesn’t care if she has a retraining order against her. She’s the Queen Lurchbeast. She’s gonna do what she wants.
Let Slopmop Smith be a lesson to all of those who yell “snitch” in the future.