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    This is so Springfield it hurts.

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    Saw this on the Facebook machine today and couldn’t believe my eyes:


    So…..are they telling kids that they’re cunts if they don’t go to school? Is there supposed to be a period after cunts? Because they left a lot of space between attendance and cunts. Plenty of room for an O in there. Attendance is important. But spelling apparently is not. And if you don’t like that then you’re a cunt.

    If it were anywhere but Springfield we would question the authenticity. But this is the school system that gave us the legendary ratchet stripper known as Princeza Aponte. So anything is possible.

    It’s not like this is the first time a school in an urban are has completely embarrassed themselves with a misspelling on their entrance sign:


    And Springfield is basically Worcester on ghetto steroids. So accidentally telling kids that they’re cunts if they don’t come to school would be the least surprising thing ever.




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    1. WHAT?

      The person that put that up was given a participation trophy when they lost the spelling bee.

      1. FatFingr Lou

        And when a teacher handed him a dictionary, he licked it.

    2. tngsucks

      My money is on some A student completely bored while no child is left behind pulling a shenanigan like this. I’m sure the O is in the bushes somewhere.

    3. ZephyrCat

      Best one I saw was years ago was a store named holiday house. They had a sign up advertising cash for gold. Someone fucked with it so it read ” Ass for gold! Holiday Hole!” It was on a major road too, laughed my ass off. I’d rather think someone fucked with these messages. If it really was an illiterate, well, another sign of the apocalypse.

    4. Dick Dover

      Clearly, only cunts go to school everyday. Status quo says locals drop out of elementary school, judging the local gentry.

    5. Sitting Bear, Troy's moccasin maker

      It’s all in how you interpret it:

      Attendance, cunts!
      Come to school every day.
      Indian Orchard Elementary School
      Attendance. Cunts
      come to school every day.

      Also, I may or may not be offended by the name of the school.

    6. Jamie

      Best one I saw in person was in Worcester near Endicott Street. It said:

      Anal Spots Bar (after someone screwed with Canal Sports Bar.) It’s gone now. 🙁

      1. Turd Burglestein

        Around Christmas time back in my teenage years, one of the churches down the street from our house was having a Children’s Nativity Pageant. Me and my buddies were drunk and stoned and got the bright idea that we would go down and change the sign up and send it in to National Lampoon magazine because at the time they’d pay $50 for funny signs and in the 80’s you could get a keg for $50. So we changed it to Children’s Nudity Pageant and took a picture and sent it in. It didn’t get used, but the police were called and the story made the front page of the town newspaper. Yeah, small town and this was like the crime of the century at the time. We all kept our mouths shut good and never got caught.

        1. BobnMic

          Ya really funny Tredge. Now that I’m back in law enforcement full time with my newfound position at the DEA, I’m going to re-open that cold case file and I’m going to make sure that you and all your butt buddies are brought to justice for this heinous crime of vandalizing a church. Taking down your cocaine empire will be the icing on the cake.

          You better start peeking out that window on the regular there Turd boy. We’re closing in on you.

        2. ZephyrCat

          Are you sure the statute of limitations is over? You just confessed to the crime of the century. They might still have an open file.

    7. Lincolntf

      I worked at Tatnuck Bookseller for a few years, and we had one of those signs. Changing the signs was a pain in the ass. It was one of those elevated ones, you needed an extendable pole with a suction cup attached to switch/move letters around. If it was wet, or cold, or windy, it was an extra-annoying task (nobody wants to spend half an hour standing in the snow to announce a new Danielle Steele novel). Anyway, sometimes I’d briefly put up cryptic or semi-profane messages on the board while I was shuffling the letters. Then I’d go inside to grab a co-worker to come out and see it, just for laughs, to kill time, then I’d immediately get rid of it, put up the real letters. More than once, but one time in particular, I went in to get someone and got roped into doing some task that took a decent chunk of time to complete. Especially once. One time, I was stuck doing something for like half an hour, sweating bullets that some customer would come in to complain, but it never happened. Might have something to do with the fact that the message on the sign was “Fuck The Yankees!”.

    8. Cat Vomit Tango

      Someone once put up a sign in downtown Pittsburgh. It said…”Steelers win the Super Bowl”. It was taken down years ago and hasn’t been seen since.

    9. Princeza groupie

      Happy the hot and gorgeous Princeza was mentioned. She deserved the honor.

    10. Smell my beard

      The Urban Dictionary defines Attendance Cunt as the lady that types up the absentee list.

    11. Jaime

      If your look at the sign it was opened at the bottom! Some idot opened it and did this. This school is actually a vary good school.

      1. Turd Burglestein

        Your grammar and spelling would seem to indicate otherwise…assuming you went there.

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