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Westfield Cheesehog On LSD Rolls Around In Snow Buck Naked, Attacks Two Women For No Reason, Takes Five Cops To Bring Her Down

Westfield Cheesehog On LSD Rolls Around In Snow Buck Naked, Attacks Two Women For No Reason, Takes Five Cops To Bring Her Down

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MassliveA Westfield woman has been accused of attacking two people at Powdermill Village Apartments after allegedly taking hallucinogenic drugs and before rolling around in the snow while naked, according to court documents. Chelsei Smith, 22, was arraigned in Westfield District Court Friday on two counts of assault and battery and assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, documents said.

On Feb. 4 at about 10:30 p.m., Westfield police responded to the apartment complex on Union Street after receiving reports that a nude woman had violently attacked two people, police reports said. Upon arrival, officers saw the suspect, later identified as Smith, completely naked and lying in the snow, reports said. It was 26 degrees outside at the time of the call, police noted, with at least 12 to 15 inches of snow on the ground. Smith showed the classic signs of a person who had taken LSD, police said, including violent behavior, body numbness, slurred speech, blank staring, hallucinations and inability to follow simple directions.

Prior to police arrival, witnesses said Smith attacked a 47-year-old woman walking her dog in the neighborhood. She allegedly knocked down the victim and proceeded to punch her several times, and then got on top of her and began slamming her head on a wooden deck, police reports said. Smith then allegedly attacked another person who tried to help the woman. Police observed that the second victim’s shirt was ripped and that he had small lacerations on his neck due to the altercation. It took five officers to control Smith, reports said.


Great holy cheesehog!!! I’m not a drug expert or anything, but I’m pretty sure you don’t normally attack random middle aged women walking their dogs when you’re high on LSD. Thought that was more of a Grateful Dead drug. I’m pretty sure this sounds like PCP behavior, but then again I’m not in law enforcement so what do I know?

Her Facebook page is a real trip too. Evidently she pulled an Orange is the New Black and converted to Judaism:

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OK then.

A lot of the comments appear to be in Hebrew too:

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It’s funny because her page is filled with inspirational quotes that seem to please simple minded geniuses who follow her. But I find it hard to believe anyone’s gonna be going to her for advice anytime soon. Because once you get arrested for rolling around in 15 inches of snow buck naked and attack two innocent victims for absolutely no reason, it’s hard to go back to being the inspirational African-American Jewish cheesehog on Facebook. Just sayin.






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14 Comment(s)
  • Former Psychonaut
    February 14, 2017 at 8:38 pm

    Former psychonaut here. No way in the world this was LSD. LSD makes you introspective and completely non-violent. You truly understand the human condition for a little while. You glimpse the universe. You listen to a little Phish, and watch the walls breathe.

    You certainly don’t fuck with other people… it simply doesn’t work that way.

    IMO, it was probably PCP or bath salts (remember that clusterfuck?)… but absolutely not acid.

  • BobnMic
    February 14, 2017 at 7:08 pm

    I would snort some of that cocaine I seized from Tredge Burglestein’s empire off those beautiful flapjack titties she’s got. And when I roll her to find the wet spot, rest assured I will not be using flour.

  • Cocomom
    February 14, 2017 at 6:38 pm

    Judaism? I don’t know. I’m leaning towards the Black Hebrew Israelites. You know, those charmers who claim to be the ‘real Jews” & use megaphones to scream & cuss on street corners. Just a thought.

    • Angela
      September 22, 2017 at 9:22 pm

      You’re probably right. Genuine Jewish people would laugh in her face. In the fantasy world, they accepted the fat black chick, in “Orange is the New Black”, but that’s just TV. In real life, they don’t want any tubby darkies hanging around, among “The Chosen”.

  • Westfield Police School
    February 14, 2017 at 4:55 pm

    Today in our Genius Level Marijuana Education Class, we will be screening Reefer Madness. Also, we have an guest lecturer from the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka Kansas speaking in our Gender Sensitivity Class. The topic will be: Gods official stance on fags.

  • Rabbi Shmuli
    February 14, 2017 at 4:53 pm

    Is cheesehog kosher?

    • hahahaohreally
      February 15, 2017 at 12:40 am

      I’m pretty sure no meat and dairy can be mixed so…. nope! Besides we all know there’s no way this chick doesn’t eat bacon!

  • Big Daddy
    February 14, 2017 at 4:11 pm

    I take LSD so I can be beautiful, attractive, and skinny….I better drop 5 more tabs.

  • Mammy
    February 14, 2017 at 2:53 pm

    I would’ve loved to see those Aunt Jemima flapjacks flopping all around

  • EBT ?
    February 14, 2017 at 2:52 pm

    She has the scent of government assistance.

  • ZephyrCat
    February 14, 2017 at 2:18 pm

    Cuckoo, quackquack….the boys in blue got a little exercise with some ebony rhino wrasslin’! I’d be real curious what color the folks were who got attacked. BlackHipposMatter!!

  • Taco
    February 14, 2017 at 2:13 pm

    Violent behavior on LSD isn’t even possible

    • Jo
      February 14, 2017 at 10:41 pm

      Downvoted by ppl who have never done acid lol

  • BobnMic
    February 14, 2017 at 2:12 pm

    I would totally suck a fart out of her ass with a straw!

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