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  • Whiny Bitches Announce They Are Unfollowing Turtleboy Page Because Popups On Free Website Hurt Their Feels And Offend Their Souls



    Whiny Bitches Announce They Are Unfollowing Turtleboy Page Because Popups On Free Website Hurt Their Feels And Offend Their Souls

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    Get the newest Turtleboy Sports t-shirt (as seen on the Felger and Mazz show) by clicking the picture above.
    Get the newest Turtleboy Sports t-shirt (as seen on the Felger and Mazz show) by clicking the picture above.

    Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

     

     

     

     

    We’ve been meaning to address the issue with pop-up ads on this site for a while, but it’s gotten really out of control lately. Luckily a turtle rider messaged us and wanted to get something off of her chest…..

    Dear Turtleboy,

    A ginormous group of followers don’t seem to have the brain power to understand that pop ups ARE NOT TURTLEBOY’S FAULT. Turtleboy has no control over rerouting the page. Therefore, if you’re tired of “winning new iPhone 6’s” or “spinning to view” your gift, than get a fucking brain, do some research, listen to fellow turrle riders & do the following: Delete your cookies ( both on your phone & through the app) Clear your cache (again through the phone & app) Open in an alternative browser, I.e chrome, Firefox, etc or better yet SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! We’re sick of hearing from mindless unintelligent morons that can’t figure out how to solve the problem on their own. We did gain a lot of enjoyment from making fun of you for awhile but it’s become old. Use your fucking brains & solve this on your own or shut the fuck up about it. For fucks sake, the rest of us are tired of hearing from you dumbasses. 

    First of all, love the rage from this chick.

    Secondly, just wanna say that we obviously have nothing but love for all turtle riders, even the whiny ones. And yes, we are well aware of the issues with pop-ups. We hate it more than you do, because this site is our livelihood.

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    Thirdly, there are things you can try to do to fix your experience on your end. Try going directly to the site from Safari or an Internet browser, rather than going through the Facebook page. Google Chrome seems to have the least amount of issues. The redirects are much more common when you go through the Facebook page. I understand this trouble shooting does not working for everyone, but it’s working for a lot of people. And instead of whining and bitching about it, try experimenting to figure out how to get on the site while we figure out the shit on our end. Because that’s what adults do. They figure shit out instead of being whiny little cuntnuggets.

    Fourthly, we are constantly trying to fix the issue. The adds that are causing the issues come from a third party ad network. We get paid a varying amount of money per 1,000 page views. The ad network has a bunch of clients like Subway, Uber, Clark University, etc, who pay them a shitload of money to give them X amount of page views on websites they affiliate with. For instance, let’s say Subway has a monthly ad budget of $5 million. They designate $1.5 million of that for digital ads. They don’t have time to partner with individual sites, so they give the ad network that $1.5 million, and say, “we want our ad to be seen 200 million times.” Then our ad network gives them that amount of page views by making their ads appear on sites like ours that they have partnered with. They pay us 80% and they keep 20%.

    The problem lies when malicious code, or some computer geek shit gets through. I don’t know how the fuck it works because I’m a content guy. But the ad network puts their geeks on it and they diagnose the company that’s letting the shit get in that causes the redirects. Every time you complain we pass the information along to them. I wish they could fix it quicker, I really do. Obviously we don’t like it when the user experience is compromised. Obviously.

    Fifthly, the site cannot function without money. Last month we had 4 million page views, and our following is only going to continue to grow. That means hosting costs and Cloudflare will continue to rise. It costs us thousands of dollars a month to make sure the site can hold that many people and doesn’t get infested with viruses. In order to pay these operating costs, we need revenue. This is how a business works. Welcome to grown up world.

    Sixthly, instead of complaining about it, how bout offering some sort of help. For instance, “Hey, my friend is a web developer and he can fix your problem. Here’s how you can contact him.” That helps. Posting, “you need to clean up these ads or I’m out of here” doesn’t help. It just makes you look like a beyoch.

    Seventhly, we don’t want to turn this into the Boston Globe or the Turtlegram where you have to pay to read. That’s gay. No one likes that. However, we have dabbled with the idea of creating a situation where you can pay a monthly fee of $10, and NEVER see any ads. I don’t even know if this is possible, but if you’re a web developer and you know how to do that, please contact us. At least that would give people the option to put their money where their mouth is and alleviate this issue when they get pop ups.

    Eighthly, all of this could be avoided if people just shut the fuck up and bought a fucking shirt. Seriously, that’s it. Buy a fucking shirt. We have 73,000 Facebook followers. If every one of them bought a shirt there would never be an ad on our site EVER again. But the problem is people want something for nothing. I don’t care if you’re a diehard turtle rider, we’re gonna call you out for being a whiny little bitch about it. You’ll be OK, because turtle riders have thick shells and can take the criticism.

     

    Here’s a small sampling of what we see every time we post a story on the Facebook machine:

    Breaking news: Local man hits unfollow button on Facebook page!!! Stay tuned for updates! Probably going to keep following anyway!

    “I’m not going to run a browser for you.”

    Translation – “I’m not willing to put in any sort of effort to view this page. Clicking on safari and typing in turtleboysports.com at the top of my browser is way too much effort for me to read this free website filled with hot takes. But I’ll still sit here and complain about snowflakes all day thouh, even though I am one.”

    Yup, you cracked the case Sean!! This is all a HUGE conspiracy to fuck you people over. We like it when you have a miserable experience on our site, but we do it anyway because we’re trying to maximize profits. That’s it.

    “Or just fix it.”

    Or just calm your tits and enjoy this free website while we figure shit out on our end.

     

    Yup, we get it.

    We appreciate the offer from Dan Rubine, but we don’t want to turn our page into PBS or Wikipedia or GoFundMe and beg for cash. However, we do sell t-shirts, mugs, etc, so feel free to show your support that way. We’d actually like to provide you with something when you give us money, rather than accepting a handout.

    You know who gets it? Carlos and Meredith:

    Carlos and Meredith are winners. Be like Carlos and Meredith.

    The bottom line is, we are aware of the problem, and we are trying to fix it. If you’re not satisfied with that, then you can go right ahead and fuck yourself. Either that or Fiesty Turtle is gonna throw a free iPhone at your stupid fucking head.

     

     

    We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.

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    Discussion

    1. Fuckface McFaggot


      I use popup blocker pro anyway no skin off my nuts turtlecock

      1. Jack Mehoff


        I use 1Blocker on my iPad and iPhone. No problems. Think the app costs $3.

        If you can’t figure out how to install a content blocker, sell your electronic devices on Craigslist and go watch TV.

    2. S.R.R


      Shit happens pop UP’s happen it’s part of life. It’s easy to fix; Don’t click on the ad for a free phone or anything else that’s free remember if it sounds to good to be true it probably is! Ad will not go anywhere by hitting the back arrow so don’t. The easiest way is too hit the box next to the web address bar That will show the pages you have open Including the Annoying Free phone hostile take over Ad and the page you are reading both have an x in top right corner hit the X on phone from Hell ad and it closes it out now tap the center of the page you were reading to restore it to size and continue reading TBS

      1. Fiesty Turtle Lady


        Finally, someone who gets it!

    3. Fupasloth, NOT


      I never get pop ups! Lmao stop bitching n learn how use ur techs! Don’t be cheap buy a tee they shouldn’t have to ask for shit! Grow up n stop being cheap whiny little bitches!!

    4. Steve


      It’s free.

    5. Kearny's Clit


      I get just as many pop-ups when I’m spankin’ it to RedTube. Doesn’t stop me there either.

    6. Always a way around I


      Run ad blocker software there is an app for Android as well it will kill all ads turtle boy won’t get paid anymore but who cares it’ll help push them to run friendly ads not annoying pop ups

    7. Ghostery Works for Me


      I’ve used the free program called Ghostery for years and have never seen these annoying popups.

    8. Troubled Nostrils


      Honest to Jehovah, I just figured the pop-ups were attached to TBS out of spite from some butthurt SJW, guttermuppet, pubeface, boob, snagglesnatch, ratchet, hardo, fupasloth, hoodrat, scagbeast, nudnik, wangsta, chudstuffer, chudmuffin, whiny bitch, shithead, fuckknuckle, fugbunny, or internet lawyer.

    9. I Call Bullshit


      For content this site is great. But it’s poorly designed. Looks like some sort of Joomla or WordPress with a shitty template applied. Put your money into some custom code and most of your issues will go away. If you’re spending 1000’s of dollars a month on maintaining this site you either don’t know what your doing or someone is ripping you off.

    10. tngsucks


      I try not to click from Facebook. Link from my email notifications or go right to your site. I clearly understand your need to make money and these popups I believe are secretly embedded onto ads.
      A bit off point is reading the obits through Legacy. It is actually worse waiting for ads to load because the deceased’s family is paying a lot of money for that ad. Then you need a few more clicks to read the obit. If I were an advertiser and someone was charging me by clicks, I would tell them to shove it because they keep forcing people to click to read on article. Slide shows are an excellent example. People avoid them like the plague.
      Thanks for providing this service that has apprehended criminals, placed shame where the courts could not and influencing elections to remove SJW politicians.

    11. GoFuckAnArmadillo


      I can’t believe the entitlement of some of the so called turtleriders to begin with….HEY YOU FUCKING WHINY-CUN-T-REX…stop being a little bitch + open in your browser = enjoying the same content you did before….boo fucking hooooooo you can’t just click on link from your precious little Facebook page. I’ve been using it in my browser for the last couple of weeks before I saw any of this shit and even if I hadn’t seen it, I wouldn’t bitch about something that’s free and some of the best entertainment I’ve had my hands on. Fuck anyone who says otherwise.

    12. SJWHater101


      Will TBS be adding additional services (like Google) if your site goes ad-free?

      Also, will TBS offer any incentive to third-parties that link you up with the right people to help TBS spread the word?

      Honestly I prefer your blog from a browser as opposed to Facebook; Dolphin is a pretty smooth browser (imo better than Chrome or Safari). Just my $0.02.

    13. True Reality Speaks


      Chrome has the same issues with re-directs that don’t let you close them. Only happens on this website.

      And I also don’t do Fakebook – I meet enough narcissists face-to-face everyday.

    14. Mr. Lahey


      I use a MAC with Ad Block Plus, absolutely zero popup ads….

      Also,I do not read Turtleboy on Facebook. How many times do you have to read about data collection and other issues with Facebook to realize it is not wise to go there?

      I have no idea what you people are even talking about and have no issues with reading articles on this site.

    15. Mr Butthurt


      Ad block for the win.

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