If you don’t know what LARP-ing is, that’s probably a good thing.
Look, I don’t care if your hobby is painting with your feet or collecting used panties from strangers, just don’t go on an internet panhandling spree and expect to come out unscathed. Remember, Turtleboy is everywhere.
So anyways, if you are going to LARP your little hearts out, just don’t do it while NOT working and expecting everyone else to pay for your rent, utilities, and twinkies. Also, if you’re going to create a GoFundMe to pay for all your shit because you
lost your jobs want to play dress up and tickle each other with foam swords, definitely DON’T make a SECOND GoFundMe after the first one is all paid up. I swear it’s like they’re shining the Turtleboy symbol in the night sky, Batman-style, just begging for a shame sandwich.
Meet Kelley Dunn and Eric Andrew Carvalho Moulton (what.the.fuck. why does this one person have enough names for three?).
Power couple alert!
So here’s the first GoFundMe from back in March when they first lost their jobs. These dumpster dumplings even got a solid $500 in donations. I’ve been in some difficult shit with money too, but I’d sell an organ or two before embarrassing myself enough to beg for rent on the internet.
I don’t know about everyone else, but it is a HUGE pet peeve of mine when people go into their GoFundMe (for asinine GoFundMes such as this at least) and become cheerleaders. Wow, so close! Every cent counts!
Ugh shut up and pay your own damn rent. They both look perfectly capable of bagging groceries, mopping floors, or answering phones. No, those aren’t the first jobs anyone other than teenagers would willingly choose, but if that’s what’s out there, that’s what it is.
Where did this unabashed willingness to beg for money from strangers who earn their own come from?? This isn’t a charitable GoFundMe (you know, like the type of fundraisers GoFundMe was SUPPOSED to be solely used for), this is straight up poor-me-beg-city nonsense.
So Kelley and He Who Has Too Many Names raised the $500 to pay off their
rent/utilities foam swords, elf ears, and Fisher Price shields.
But that wasn’t enough. 5 months later, Kelley’s pretend-time bae Eric decided to make his own GoFundMe for $1,500. Apparently being “Dystopia rising players” doesn’t pay the bills. I guess the exchange rate for fairytale land wizard coins is weak.
Five MONTHS later and still no job? Color me shocked.
And people are really donating to these people. Enablers like that are the reason people have no shame in creating these “fundraisers” to pay for their rent, groceries, and boob jobs.
Come join adult life like the rest of us and knock it off with the internet panhandling.
We urge you to support the following local businesses.