WTF

Woman Who Says A Pack Of Coyotes Chased Her Up Tree In Saugus Park And Abandoned Her Dog Might Be A Worse Liar Than Rowdy Rutland Piper

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NECNA pack of coyotes sent a woman scrambling up a tree over the weekend in Saugus, Massachusetts.

“Hello! There’s coyotes up here.”

A Melrose woman called 911 Saturday morning — reporting that a pack of three or four coyotes had surrounded her and her eight-year-old black Labrador Abby while they were out for a walk in Saugus’ Breakheart Reservation. Dispatcher: “911 this line’s recorded, where’s your emergency?”

Caller: “Hi, I’m in a – stuck in a tree at Breakheart Reservation in Saugus. There’s coyotes.”

The woman snapped a photo from her vantage point up in the tree – with Abby looking up at her.

Caller: “I have one dog, she’s a lab, she’s on the ground right in front of the tree. There’s coyotes there.”

Dispatcher: “I’m going to get somebody up there as quick as I can, but in the meantime I want you to obviously stay away from those as best you can.”

The woman was eventually able to get down from the tree and firefighters met her and her dog about a quarter of a mile down Ridge Trail and walked them out. Deputy Saugus Fire Chief Thomas D’Eon said, “There were no injuries to the dog or her and our crew did not see any coyotes.”

The group Friends of Breakheart Reservation says coyotes are becoming more and more prevalent in the area. Deputy Chief D’Eon said, “It’s a reservation, there’s wildlife in there, it’s teaming with wildlife, you have to be aware, be careful, take precautions, you’re in their habitat.”

You gotta listen to the 911 tape by clicking here

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!! This is the fakest news I’ve ever seen fam. Then again, fake coyote attacks are all the rage these days thanks to Rowdy Rutland Piper.

Legend.

But seriously, she climbed a tree? Who is this chick, George of the Jungle? What kind of tree was it? Because most of the trees around here aren’t the climbing kind.

And she left her lab on the ground to stave off not just one, but a pack of hungry coyotes on its own. Did you listen to that tape? Listen to it!! She’s not even remotely worried. Oh, and you hear a dog a couple times whimpering, but at no point in time do you hear a single coyote. And they have a very distinct sound. Especially if there’s a bunch of them.

Then there’s the fact that if a pack of coyotes did encounter a lab and a human being in a park (which wouldn’t happen unless they were rabid), and this woman cowardly abandoned her dog to climb a Goddamn tree, then there wouldn’t be a dog anymore. There would be leftovers. A domesticated dog has no idea about the dangers of wild animals. They’re like the Kardashians when they go into the hood. They wanna play, and try to pretend like they belong, but that ass just ends up getting ripped apart.

So…..what happened to the coyotes? They decided that they weren’t in the mood for labrador? They sound pickier than Turtlebabe Jr. Then there’s the fact that no one else saw this pack of coyotes in a pretty popular public park. Weird.

Anyway, if it WAS real, which clearly it’s not, then we’d be pro-kill coyotes. Our stance at Turtleboy is pretty clear about coyotes – we are 1,000% anti-coyote. They have no reason to exist. All the shit they kill we could just kill ourselves. We don’t really need them. Which is why all those whiny bitches a few months back crying about hunters killing them in the Cape was so hilarious.

But if they insist on existing, then they can go where the people aren’t. There’s plenty of delicious deer and baby foxes for them to eat in Vermont. Those are the rules. But man owns civilization because we’re smarter than them. That’s how Darwinism works. It used to be their home, but we wanted it because we have brains and shit, so we took it. We were kind enough not to send them the way of the Dodo, but as part of the agreement they have to stay in Maine, Vermont, Yellowstone, or Colrain.

So yea, if they’re actually attacking women and dogs like this in public parks, then they need to be destroyed. But they’re not, and it’s probably just some lobbyist for the hunting industry trying to extend coyote hunting season by making up a story. If you know who that is on the 911 call, feel free to let us know. Because I’m willing to bet this isn’t the first tall tale she’s made up.

17 Comment(s)
  • Wabbitt
    May 19, 2018 at 3:26 pm

    A black lab could probably take one coyote on; maybe two. Dead right that it would be as fucked as a cow in the Amazon River against a pack.

  • NR
    May 17, 2018 at 6:37 pm

    Was that a man’s voice at the end of the tape calling “Abby”, her dog?

  • Rectum Wrangler
    May 16, 2018 at 4:52 pm

    Love the analogy to the Mud Duck Kardashians and their penchant for that big radiator hose POW right up their gelatinous assholes and the inevitable ass whooping that comes with being a smokejumper.

    • whoring aint easy
      May 16, 2018 at 6:48 pm

      Don’t know if the bitch is lying or not but I DO know the kardashians are full of fucking shit there gay ass step dad had dick cut off and grew tits divorced the hooker mom then he wants to marry a new chic wtf. Daughters all doing porn and calling it tv mom is cool with it dad is busy dildoing his new cunt. sick fuckers! Pimping aint easy but neither is whoring or cutting off your dicks and balls.

  • Strata
    May 16, 2018 at 12:55 pm

    This woman is clearly a liar, who is desperately seeking attention. And the stupid news media just blindly accepts this actually happened. It didn’t.

    I’m sure she took to facebook to let everyone know of her new found fame. It’s actually sad, as this woman clearly leads a meaningless and lonely existence and is desperate for attention that she makes this up.

    I hear and see Coyotes all the time, they never come to you especially in the day. And if there a rabid situation, it’s usually ONE coyote not a pack. This was all made up.

    Gee, no pics of the pack?
    No injuries to her or the dog?
    Noone else in the area so the pack?

    I don’t doubt she could have heard them in the distance, then she wastes Police time with up “made-up” ruse for attention. Cue the News Cameras !

    • Betty Ford
      May 16, 2018 at 2:09 pm

      Bingo. I caught this on the 10 o’clock news last night, and kind of wrinkled my face as it sounded fairly bullshit.

      Plus, coyotes are pretty chickenshit animals. They don’t want any part of humans.

  • z
    May 16, 2018 at 12:33 pm

    One would think at the scene of the “crime” there would be tracks all over the place?

    • Finn
      May 16, 2018 at 12:40 pm

      I”m curious how this made the news without doing any fact checking using any common sense. Idiots.

      • bigdaddy
        May 16, 2018 at 1:12 pm

        The media is just getting lazy

    • Strata
      May 16, 2018 at 1:17 pm

      BTW, I’ve been a long time TB supporter, but this site has gotten ridiculous with the “pop-ups”, the “red-directs”, the scrolling through shitload of ads to get to comment section. Click on one thing, it sends you all over the place ….

      Again, loyal follower, but sick & tired of the nuisance navigating this site. Unfortunatly less & less click from me as I don’t need the hassle

      • Jaxson
        May 17, 2018 at 5:54 am

        He responds to this problem in the blog that says LeBron is dead and the Shirley stripper. Basically it’s free so we need to accept it. Because we don’t donate. I donated. Three times. And still can’t see shit. I’m sad to say but after reading that comment I’m done. I won’t donate another penny to something I can’t read. Or to someone who has no respect for the people who make their paycheck possible.

      • T-Ryder
        May 19, 2018 at 12:13 am

        If you download the app as I did there are no pop ups or redirects. Could be different for android but for apple it’s smooth sailing. 

  • Brian Willaims
    May 16, 2018 at 11:58 am

    I believe her as I was there

    • Eugene
      May 16, 2018 at 1:22 pm

      Nice job Brian.

    • Brian Northboro
      May 16, 2018 at 8:25 pm

      She was also taking sniper fire…

  • Scoobies Mystery Machine
    May 16, 2018 at 11:53 am

    I saw the pic of the dog but where are the Yotes? If I was up the tree, I don’t think I’d be taking pics of the dog…maybe it was Bigfoot. It does sound fishy.

    • bigdaddy
      May 16, 2018 at 11:58 am

      It could have been a unicorn

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