WTF

All-Star Voke-stache Man Runs Over McDonald’s Manager After Filling Water Cup Up With Coke

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SPRINGDALE, ArkansasCody Morris, 18, was arrested Monday for putting soda inside a water cup at a Springdale McDonald’s, refusing to return the soda, according to the police report sent to 40/29 News.  The manager told police he tried to stop the suspects from driving away, but he was hit by their car, according to the report. The manager for the McDonald’s at 520 S. Thompson St. called police Monday to report a robbery, according to the report. The manager told police 3 people went through the drive thru and asked for 3 large waters. Those 3 parked, went into the restaurant, dumped out the water and then filled the cups with soda, the manager told police. 

The manager asked the 3 people to return the soda. Two of them did, but one did not, the manager told police. Then, the manager stood behind the suspect’s car and tried to stop them from leaving, according to the report, but the car reversed and hit the manager. The manager tried to get the keys out of the ignition and was hit on the hand and then by the vehicle again, the manager told police. Police found the vehicle at a bowling alley and arrested the driver, who was Cody Morris, according to the report.

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First of all, that face just screams, “Arkansas.” Turtleboy has never been to Arkansas, but this is pretty much how we envision every person from there who isn’t named Duggar, Clinton, or Walton. I can’t stop looking at that Voke-stache, complete with some sort of dirt goatee. It’s fantastic.

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Anyway, this kid is a hero. Was he in the wrong? Technically. But at the end of the day he stole about three and a half cents worth of syrup and water from a billion dollar corporation. The ol’ “water cup” trick is almost standard procedure at this point. If you’re working at a McDonald’s then you are definitely not paid enough to care about this.

Plus, the manager had three choices:

  1. Ignore it and move on with your life.
  2. Call the cops.
  3. Be a deputy bad ass and stand in front of Voke-stache’s car.

He picked the one where you end up getting run over by a car. Is this manager trained in take downs? Does he have any sort of legal authority to try to take the keys out of the ignition of the ignition? Does he have any right to complain about getting run over when he purposely stood in front of the car? Nope. He wanted to be a hero but he ended up becoming a speed bump. Now he knows going forward that McDonald’s is not paying him to care this much about fountain soda.

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Besides, fountain soda has by far the biggest profit margins at any fast food restaurant. That’s why they give you free refills (any business who doesn’t give you free refills should be burned to the ground). Is it stealing if someone fills up their coke, takes a sip, and then fills it again? Is it stealing if one person buys a coke, three people drink from it, and they keep refilling it? Technically, according to the fountain soda police. It’s some syrup and water. Enjoy the money you’re making off of it and move on with your life. See this sign?

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That makes me want to fill my water cup with Pepsi. Just because I wanna see the look on the underpaid employee’s face when he sees me doing it.

The bottom line is that this was avoidable by all parties. The manager shouldn’t have tried to be the Arkansas version of Steve Quist. But Cody Voke-stache should’ve known that if you’re gonna pull this stunt, then you ALWAYS fill your water cup with Sprite. Rookie move on everyone’s part. This is why you idiots lost the Civil War.

 

 

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11 Comment(s)
  • Dm
    April 23, 2016 at 10:36 am

    Last I checked, there’s quite a few fast food places that don’t offer free refills – it really depends on the location and what franchise company runs it.

    Stealing is stealing. If you have one idiot who’ll do this, then you’ll get ten more after him that will try to pull this stunt. It’s the little things that add up into a big problem later on – and inconvenience honest customers.

  • Danny
    April 22, 2016 at 7:16 pm

    Back in my day my friends and I sold weed basically joints not like today it’s all baggies anyway we had MONEY to eat and buy as much soda we wanted don’t these punks even have money for a soda

  • Devils Mouthpiece
    April 22, 2016 at 5:28 pm

    Really TB, it’s OK to steal?? That’s just lame.

    • GoneWest
      April 24, 2016 at 11:28 am

      Yeah I’m with you. Suck it up and pay for the soda.

  • April 22, 2016 at 5:26 pm

    Looks more like a wusstache to me.

  • Steel
    April 22, 2016 at 5:09 pm

    I detest the term Voke-stache.
    WTF is so offensive/wrong about a vocational student having a mustache??
    Or ANY person for that matter?

    • ProfessorM
      April 22, 2016 at 6:06 pm

      In the 20 or so times that I’ve seen the term “Voke-stache” in TB’s blog, I’ll admit that I wasn’t sure what exactly that it meant. I contemplated Volkswagon mustache, I thought maybe it was some sort of play on a “folk mustache” Never once did I ever consider that it might mean Vocational School Mustache… That’s just odd.

      • FiestyLawyerLady
        April 22, 2016 at 7:57 pm

        I actually had to look it up after I came across the term here…lol

  • Bowen Hardcase
    April 22, 2016 at 3:47 pm

    Sounds like the coke was the last straw. I bet this punk and his crew were probably always trouble, like being loud, obnoxious, rude, messy, etc. and the coke just pushed this manager over the top. It was like the FBI going after Capone with tax evasion because they couldn’t get him on murder charges…

  • Sterling Turtle Rider
    April 22, 2016 at 3:09 pm

    The Voke-stache is strong with this one

  • tudor turtle
    April 22, 2016 at 2:29 pm

    when I was his age I would be filling it up with booze not soda.

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