Social Justice Warriors

Barstool Sports Forced To Take Down A Blog That Fat People And Feminists Said Was Mean Because Turtleboy Is The Only Pony Left In Town That Fears No One

Barstool Sports Forced To Take Down A Blog That Fat People And Feminists Said Was Mean Because Turtleboy Is The Only Pony Left In Town That Fears No One

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In one of the most embarrassing, emasculating moves in the history of blogging, Barstool Sports took down a blog by one of their hacks Chris Spags, entitled

“Is Rihanna Going To Make Being Fat The Hot New Trend?” 

Apparently it upset feminists and fat people too much. But honestly, if you’re upsetting fat people and feminists then you’re doing something right. And Barstool has built their brand off of pissing off feminists and not backing down:

But ever since they sold out to Chernin Group and hired a SJW CEO, they’ve become the Huffington Post Jr. It’s why they instructed their bloggers to believe all the hate crimes that turned out to be hoaxes after Trump was elected:

It’s why the fell for Arab prankster Adam Saleh, when he made a viral prank video pretending to be thrown off a Delta flight for speaking in Arabic (ironically written by the blogger who was just suspended by Barstool for crossing the PC line):

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It’s why they write blogs calling Boston a racist city:

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It’s why they feel the need to hire token SJW bloggers simply because they fill the gay guy quota:

And right on cue after the outrage machine broke out their EMPLOYEE (he no longer really owns the blog) Dave Portnoy announced in this blog that he was pulling down the blog about Rihanna:

“And truthfully the facts are there is a double standard at this company. If Big Cat or PFT or KFC or I write this blog I’ll defend it to the death. They have earned that trust and loyalty from me. I hired them because I think they are all legitimacy hilarious people. However as I’ve said many times Spags wasn’t originally hired to be a personality at Barstool. He should not be writing blogs that we as a company end up having to defend. And I’ve been doing this long enough to know that somewhere down the line this blog will be dug up again and used as an example of our extreme sexism. Frankly that’s not a hill I’m willing to die on. I’ll choose a different guy and a different blog to go to war for. Just like how the risk wasn’t worth the reward in writing this, the risk isn’t worth the reward defending it either. That’s called being a leader. I make the decisions nobody else has the stomach to make.”

Ya know what we’ll never, ever, ever do at Turtleboy? Take down a blog because it upsets social justice warriors and various groups of perpetually miserable fat chicks. Ever. He just completely sold out one of his employees for the enemy. Imagine us ever doing that? Spags is to Barstool what North Shore Turtlebabe is to Turtleboy Sports. She hasn’t been around long enough to have the same status as South Shore Turtlegirl, but she’s one of us and management stands by her 150%.  Every blogger on our site has written something controversial at some point. It’s just part of the game. We apologize for nothing. Good leaders don’t choose the enemy over their loyal soldiers. This is how you become France.

And for the record, we have taken down several blogs on our site. But only under one condition – the person who the blog is about has to come to us and show genuine contrition. It’s happened at least a dozen times, and it’s the most fulfilling part of the job. Not because we’re gloating, but because this individual learned something. That’s the greatest feeling in the world. When you can take someone with ratchet behavior and show them the light through the magic of public humiliation. You feel like you just watched your kids grow up from being an emo freak to getting accepted to Harvard. Then they become one of us, and the view is always so much better when you’re riding the turtle instead of getting run over by it.

Cue the, “you wish your Barstool because he’s rich as shit” jock sniffers. Newsflash – we’re doing alright over here. Our bills are paid, despite unprecedented situations with popups and Facebook suspensions. We’ve had offers to sell out too, but that would be gay and you’d all stop reading. We can’t let you down like that. It’s about the money, but it’s not ALL about the money. Plus we grow every single day so it’s kind of a stupid time to sell. Oh, and the only one getting paid at Barstool is Portnoy himself. He pays his bloggers $50-60K a year, which is fine to live on. But he’s making millions. We do profit sharing at TBS. The more views you bring the more you get paid. Our bloggers are incentivized to work harder and have hotter takes. Salaried workers are incentivized to fill quotas with cold shit.

The Stoolies are getting pretty sick of it too it looks like:

He’s been taking so much heat he had to hold an emergency press conference to explain himself to his fans:

“If you can’t fucking get that, go read another blog. But you won’t. Because there are no other blogs that do what we do. So go fuck yourself.”

Actually, there is another blog that does what Barstool does. It’s called the Huffington Post, and they keep it at 31 degrees so the snowflakes don’t melt. But he’s right about one thing – there’s no other site on the Internet that peddles garbage bromani clothing and eats pizza at various NY eateries you’ll never visit, quite like the Stool.

See, we can actually tell people this and mean it because there’s nothing on the Internet like Turtleboy. If Barstool was what it used to be, they might be able to say that too. But it’s just us now. We’re not controlled by the Chernin Group. We do what we want. We stand by our bloggers. And we only take down blogs when the people in our blogs have learned a valuable life lesson.

P.S. He also forgot to mention that he was shamed into keeping it down by well known PC sports outlet Deadspin. This is what Barstool is worried about – being called sexist by a bunch of people who call everyone they don’t agree with a sexist. LOL. That’ll be the day for us. If you let Deadspin control your content, your business is doomed. Jason Witlock wrote a really good article on it hereBasically Deadspin shamed ESPN so much 10 years ago for not being PC enough, that ESPN became the Huffington Post, lost millions of followers, and ended up laying off everyone except for Jemele Hill. Now it’s unwatchable.

 

 

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25 Comment(s)
  • Beige Caulk
    June 5, 2017 at 8:04 am

    Thank you for posting comments. I refuse to give that Adderall addict sell out any clicks. Been off Barstool for 6 months. Feelz good mane.

  • SAFTB
    June 4, 2017 at 8:21 am

    I just love Saturdays are for the boys!!!!!! Me and my boi’s all hang out together and drink perrier sparkling water with a lemon wedge and massage each other. We also feed each other grapes and prance around in our SAFTB tank tops and take selfies and send them in to pres!

  • Murt Burful
    June 4, 2017 at 7:58 am

    Does Jerry Thornton still work at Barstool? His teacher sex scandal blogs were great back in the day. I guess considering that what he wrote isn’t “pc” they probably shut him down or told him to stop covering them. Maybe tbs can start covering them, there is no shortage of teacher sex scandals!

  • June 3, 2017 at 11:18 pm

    Losers

  • rexisfat
    June 3, 2017 at 1:45 pm

    I’m one of barstool’s top 3 commenters of all time. I will consider coming to your site for the right price. I will promise hundreds of readers and commenters will come with me. Next move is yours. You have my email.
    Respectfully,
    rexisfat

    • Tired of Don't Snitch Pussies
      June 3, 2017 at 7:01 pm

      If that’s true, I think you’d be more at home commenting over at National Geographic or maybe Farmer’s Almanac.

      Sheep are discouraged from commenting here at TBS.

      • Rightwinger
        June 4, 2017 at 4:24 pm

        Sheep are discouraged? What the fuck do you call yourself??? Fucking hilarious !!!!!

      • rexisfat
        June 4, 2017 at 8:26 pm

        Your loss. You can continue on being the bottom-feeding fish in the sea. You’ll be out of business within a year. Mark that down.

    • Bigdaddysmooth
      June 3, 2017 at 8:08 pm

      Barstool has always had better comments than content

      • Phil
        June 3, 2017 at 8:16 pm

        Have some respect for the dead, change your username.

  • Erin
    June 3, 2017 at 9:03 am

    TB:

    You often mock Barstool readers but it seems to me you follow BSS rather closely (you know their business model, how much they pay, their content, and the hierarchy of their bloggers). If you think it’s a worthless blog, they don’t write about them.

    • Show me your tits Erin
      June 3, 2017 at 12:50 pm

      Any person in a similar business knows the competition through and through. I can tell you everything about my competitor. You know why? Because only retards assume they are the only game in town and don’t have to adapt to changing trends. You should delete your comment just to save yourself from the embarrassment of having typed something so incredibly stupid. Then you should tape dirty used syringes to the bottom of your tits and do 20 jumping jacks

      • Phil
        June 4, 2017 at 1:56 pm

        Obvious TB writer is obvious.

  • Sterling Turtle Rider
    June 3, 2017 at 2:12 am

    Identity politics at its worst, yet again.
    Keep caving into hurt feelings, see where it gets you; just because you’re offended, doesn’t mean that you’re right.

  • Northshore
    June 3, 2017 at 12:14 am

    Ha. Turtleboy can’t even volunteer at his kids school because he can’t pass a CORI check. Pretty sure that’s more embarrassing than this.

    Sorry TB — you’re way, way off the mark with this one.

    • Team Turtle
      June 3, 2017 at 12:24 am

      THATS just Fake news.

  • Chris
    June 3, 2017 at 12:10 am

    Haha,

    Yeah pretty sure TurtleboySports isn’t even on deadspins radar. Pretty sure you’re clear to write whatever you want bro!

    • Tired of Don't Snitch Pussies
      June 3, 2017 at 6:56 pm

      Yet here you are. Why so mad, bro?

  • Don Tazemebro
    June 3, 2017 at 12:09 am

    Jealousy rears its ugly head. I like turtleboy and barstool. Your obsession with them is sad. They are way more successful than you and you can’t stand it. “We pay our bills” – isn’t that what you’re supposed to do? You want a medal? Stay in your lane and troll Facebook posts for “ratchets” selling ebt cards. Go read oldballs blogs and make fun of him. Stop trying to run with the big dogs and stay on the porch. This is unbecoming.

    • Tired of Don't Snitch Pussies
      June 3, 2017 at 6:54 pm

      By big dogs, are you referring to your fellow poodles and ankle biters (grabbers) you and your pre-pubescent middle school friends like to dry hump to over at Barstool?

      Now put Mom’s phone back and go play with your dolls (or your beard) like an obedient castrated beta, will ya?

    • Phil
      June 3, 2017 at 8:08 pm

      Spot. Fucking. On. 23 sheep dont agree but this guys assessment is money. Turtleboy is Barstools whipping boy. Barstool, which Ill agree is 1/10th what it used to be, is still a thousand times better than this site which resembles a weekly fucking grocery flyer with 9 million ads. Try using the word ratchet a couple hundred more times a day, cringeworthy. At least they put faces and names to their blogs and dont bash people anonymously, fucking pussy.

  • alexc
    June 2, 2017 at 11:52 pm

    LOL. If Turtleboy had an offer to sell out, it was 16-24 months ago when his blog wasn’t a joke.

    Who’s going to pay for a page that sells quarter-page ads to drunk-driving attorneys and a tavern?

    But hey — after the facebook lawsuit goes through…

  • alexc
    June 2, 2017 at 11:47 pm

    LOL, is Turtleboy putting himself in the same strata as Barstool?

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

    Not even close you stupid asshole! HA HA HA — everything about this blog is a joke. The code is crap, the writing is crap, the writer is a washed up loser with a history of assault.

    LOL.

    • Alex's Mom
      June 3, 2017 at 12:07 am

      Alex honey, Please get your suction cup adult toy out of my dishwasher…. also the meatloaf is ready. Come upstairs and eat when your done talking to your boyfriends on the interweb. Wash your hands first.

      • Alec
        June 3, 2017 at 11:33 am

        Awww mom it’s time to breastfeed again??? I’m not done trolling yet!!!! You know how I can’t properly latch when I haven’t finished my tantrum

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