All-Star Criminals

Blackstone Lovers Selling Worthless Photocopies Of Disney On Ice Tickets In Northbridge Shaw’s Parking Lot Are So Ratchet It Hurts

Blackstone Lovers Selling Worthless Photocopies Of Disney On Ice Tickets In Northbridge Shaw’s Parking Lot Are So Ratchet It Hurts

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Ratchet alert out of the Blackstone Valley:

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Blackstone is such a sneaky quiet ratchet burrow. Anything that close to Woonsocket is gonna have cheeshogs and sewer guppies oozing out its pores.

You must really, really like heroin if you’re willing to do something that will OBVIOUSLY end up with you getting arrested. I mean, what was the plan here? How was this NOT gonna come back to bite you? You think the victims would just show up with their children, have their tickets denied, and then forget which local trashbag sold the tickets to them? Or did it just not matter because they can’t think past their next fix? Look at this chick:

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Not just any seats – FRONT ROW!!! She went all out. And she was posting it everywhere!!

Oh, and good news – according to her Facebook page this 20 year old gutterslug reproduced:

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I guess they don’t teach you how to run a successful Disney On Ice ticket scam at Goal GED Prep. Also the fact that she’s from Webster is the least surprising turn of events in this story.

Here’s the fucked up part – she actually took her daughter to Disney on Ice a few days ago:

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So those pictures she was advertising on those yard sale pages – those were her’s. She used them. And then the monkeys writing on chalkboards in what’s left of the puddle of broken dreams known as her brain, told her it would be a good idea to to resell the worthless stubs that have already been scanned to strangers so she could buy heroin.

At least I HOPE she did this for heroin. Because if she just did this as a revenue producer she’s even more demented.

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Anyway, Miranda Paille is a real prize:

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Holy polepolisher!!

Miranda “straight slays”

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And she obviously has great taste in men:

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The only thing worse than a flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat is an adjustable hat that used to be standard issue for Little League back in the 90’s. No wonder these ratchets were selling used tickets to strangers. Kevin Wood was finally gonna get that fitted hat he always dreamed about.

And what in the name of Holy WANDA is that thing growing on his chin?

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Most of us look at that thing and see a bundle of overgrown pubes. Miranda looks at it and sees a complementary tuna tickler. I don’t know what’s worse – before:

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Or WAY before:

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Kill it with fire!!

Anyway, these love birds take a lot of romantic road trips so they can see what their future will look like:

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Because what couple doesn’t spend their Valentine’s Day catching an episode of Maury Povich and scamming some innocent families on yard sale pages?

I guess this was part of the cheesehog viewing cross country tour:

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I didn’t even realize Jerry Springer was still a thing. Where are they going on Friday? Ricki Lake?

And can someone please tell me who is driving this car?

Love the Duke shirt. Guess what hun? The only way you’re getting into Duke is if the lacrosse team gets cleared to host parties again.

Anyway, it’s pretty impressive that the good samaritan who was about to be victimized noticed that these ding-dongs were selling the same tickets all over the place and she realized that something was up. It would’ve really, really sucked to get your kids all juiced up to see Disney On Ice, only to get rejected at the door. Lowest of the low. We need to start taking these people to a designated area, build the Trump wall around it, and just drop dirty needles and cheap heroin from a helicopter and let nature take its course. We just need to find a place that’s already beyond hope. I vote Woonsocket.

 

 

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30 Comment(s)
  • Audreanna
    February 18, 2017 at 11:21 pm

    First off. To who ever wrote this. Just because blackstone is close to woonsocket does not mean that we are ratchet as well. I grew up there.. 20yrs and its only been the last 10yrs that it has publicity from people who have no cares. Now for these two. Its to bad that they will only be charged with misdemeanors if charged at all.

  • abcdemarkle
    Derek
    February 18, 2017 at 7:09 am

    Hey Turtleboy, great article about the two junkies, but to include a whole town into the circle of scum that they are is like saying the town of Wellesley is a wife murdering prostitution ring for affluent Dr’s… One crime doesn’t reflect on the town!
    So as any scared citizen would do, keep hiding inside your shell as “turtleboy” and I’ll just label you as another scumbag journalist…
    Thanks again for the entertainment!

    • Audreanna
      February 18, 2017 at 11:24 pm

      Thank you!! Its not the whole town. Its only been recently tjat it has been making a name for itself and im pretty sure its because woonsocket is moving in. But no judgements

  • becky markle
    February 17, 2017 at 11:36 am

    Unfortunately you paint Blackstone out to be a dirty shit hole which it isn’t. These people are probably transplants from Woonsocket and are the shit holes and not my town.

  • Kim
    February 17, 2017 at 1:15 am

    Let me just point out also, the address for them on the police report is across the street from the Blackstone pokice department lol Losers

    • Kate
      February 17, 2017 at 3:53 am

      And also, next door to the once House of Horrors. I knew the address sounded familiar to me.

  • Karmacatcher
    February 16, 2017 at 11:11 pm

    This bitch…..
    I knew her karma would eventually come motherfuckingcumswallowingcrayonbrowWorstmotheroftheyear….
    Stupid rat.

    I would always have to take care of her daughter when I was around while her baby daddy beat the crap out of her on the daily caught myself a case for her stupid ass Defending her and she then said I jumped him by myself so she could stay with him.

    • Miranda Paille
      July 23, 2017 at 3:35 pm

      That’s pretty funny you say that, so what about your 6 kids? Are dcf taking care of them real well for you? While I may be such a piece of shit my child’s father isn’t so much. I guess your disgusting boyfriend should take some tips since he also doesn’t care for either of his kids.

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    February 16, 2017 at 9:55 pm

    What the fuck is growing on that dudes face? Looks like mold.

  • Derek Eagles
    Stud McMuffin
    February 16, 2017 at 2:51 pm

    One of her little butt hurt friends came to her defense PMing me. Gotta love people that defend scumbags.

  • paul
    February 16, 2017 at 1:18 pm

    While i hate these scammers, who the hell buys tickets from someone they don’t know in Shaw’s parking lot. You have to be a special kind of stupid.
    you read about these scams and it really makes you wonder what is happening to society.
    These scams wouldn’t work if there were no stupid people.

    • Kevins 9 Iron
      DR CLEMENT OKON
      February 16, 2017 at 6:30 pm

      REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

      FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICTEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND ‘TOP SECRET’. I AM SURE AND HAVE CONFIDENCE OF YOUR ABILITY AND RELIABILITY TO PROSECUTE A TRANSACTION OF THIS GREAT MAGNITUDE INVOLVING A PENDING TRANSACTION REQUIRING MAXIIMUM CONFIDENCE.

      WE ARE TOP OFFICIAL OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL WHO ARE INTERESTED IN IMPORATION OF GOODS INTO OUR COUNTRY WITH FUNDS WHICH ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN NIGERIA. IN ORDER TO COMMENCE THIS BUSINESS WE SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE TO ENABLE US TRANSFER INTO YOUR ACCOUNT THE SAID TRAPPED FUNDS.

      THE SOURCE OF THIS FUND IS AS FOLLOWS; DURING THE LAST MILITARY REGIME HERE IN NIGERIA, THE GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS SET UP COMPANIES AND AWARDED THEMSELVES CONTRACTS WHICH WERE GROSSLY OVER-INVOICED IN VARIOUS MINISTRIES. THE PRESENT CIVILIAN GOVERNMENT SET UP A CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL AND WE HAVE IDENTIFIED A LOT OF INFLATED CONTRACT FUNDS WHICH ARE PRESENTLY FLOATING IN THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA READY FOR PAYMENT.

      HOWEVER, BY VIRTUE OF OUR POSITION AS CIVIL SERVANTS AND MEMBERS OF THIS PANEL, WE CANNOT ACQUIRE THIS MONEY IN OUR NAMES. I HAVE THEREFORE, BEEN DELEGATED AS A MATTER OF TRUST BY MY COLLEAGUES OF THE PANEL TO LOOK FOR AN OVERSEAS PARTNER INTO WHOSE ACCOUNT WE WOULD TRANSFER THE SUM OF US$21,320,000.00(TWENTY ONE MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND U.S DOLLARS). HENCE WE ARE WRITING YOU THIS LETTER. WE HAVE AGREED TO SHARE THE MONEY THUS; 1. 20% FOR THE ACCOUNT OWNER 2. 70% FOR US (THE OFFICIALS) 3. 10% TO BE USED IN SETTLING TAXATION AND ALL LOCAL AND FOREIGN EXPENSES. IT IS FROM THE 70% THAT WE WISH TO COMMENCE THE IMPORTATION BUSINESS.

      PLEASE,NOTE THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% SAFE AND WE HOPE TO COMMENCE THE TRANSFER LATEST SEVEN (7) BANKING DAYS FROM THE DATE OF THE RECEIPT OF THE FOLLOWING INFORMATIOM BY TEL/FAX; 234-1-7740449, YOUR COMPANY’S SIGNED, AND STAMPED LETTERHEAD PAPER THE ABOVE INFORMATION WILL ENABLE US WRITE LETTERS OF CLAIM AND JOB DESCRIPTION RESPECTIVELY. THIS WAY WE WILL USE YOUR COMPANY’S NAME TO APPLY FOR PAYMENT AND RE-AWARD THE CONTRACT IN YOUR COMPANY’S NAME.

      WE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING THIS BUSINESS WITH YOU AND SOLICIT YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IN THIS TRANSATION. PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER USING THE ABOVE TEL/FAX NUMBERS. I WILL SEND YOU DETAILED INFORMATION OF THIS PENDING PROJECT WHEN I HAVE HEARD FROM YOU.

      YOURS FAITHFULLY,

      DR CLEMENT OKON

      NOTE; PLEASE QUOTE THIS REFERENCE NUMBER (VE/S/09/99) IN ALL YOUR RESPONSES.

      • BobnMic
        February 17, 2017 at 6:03 am

        Sounds great, Doc!
        I have my check book in hand- lets do this!

        BobnMic
        DEA agent

      • Audreanna
        February 18, 2017 at 11:28 pm

        Is there an acrive investigastion or have they already been charged? Because if they are already charged then it is public knowledge sweet heart.

      • BobnMic
        February 20, 2017 at 11:46 pm

        RE: The caps. Are you yelling at us? And what about Spain again?

  • 3/4" Ratchet
    February 16, 2017 at 10:59 am

    Ummmmmm excuse me Mr. Turtleboy I am a 3/4″ Snap-on ratchet and I find the use of the word “ratchet” very offensive. If you could replace the “r” word with the word “socket” I would greatly appreciate it. If you refuse to I will leave bad comments on all of your advertisers.

    • Kevins 9 Iron
      kevi packs a mean 9 iron
      February 16, 2017 at 6:26 pm

      Don’t be offended sir. It is also “a situation or process that is perceived to be deteriorating or changing steadily in a series of irreversible steps.”

  • Diane Woods emerson
    Wtf
    February 16, 2017 at 8:58 am

    She is the dopleganger of dahlia dippolito the boynton beach chick that tried to have her husband killed and then got caught on camera. They HAVE to be related equally ugly humans. I really hope she has suffer in every way possible because of this scam. Unfortunately being able to print ur own tickets this happens all the time. Not only with the reproductions but scalping the no good tickets for outrageous prices goes without consequences. Dudes in boston were selling justin beiber tickets inside an outside for thousands and they were likely copies of used tickets. Security stands right there and watches as if its entertainment , then when the poor people who were dumb enough to pay some toothless skank a ton of money get to the ticket scan they find out its either a fake or been scanned already. No it did not happen to me but i saw it and i have walked security right over to the skank and they simply made him leave the building. So he went rt outside and was soliciting the same way. I repeatedly ruined his sales by standing there and telling interested moms to make skank go to scanner with them and clear it. And of course skank wouldnt. Pisses me off.

    • anonymous
      February 16, 2017 at 10:12 am

      I know these two quite well. They will steal ANYTHING that isn’t nailed down. I heard that he ripped off his own parents for THOUSANDS of dollars in cash and possessions. They have both been arrested numerous times for burglary and breaking and entering. Their most recent arrest that I know of was down in Florida back in September of 2016 for burglary. Before that they were busted for shoplifting at a local Walmart.

      • Mike
        February 16, 2017 at 12:34 pm

        Info?

      • Anonymous
        February 18, 2017 at 2:55 pm

        Her half brother was my nephew who died from cancer at 17 many years ago – sorry to hear this is how she turned out

  • ZephyrCat
    February 16, 2017 at 8:56 am

    Ha! Just noticed….another dope who doesn’t comprehend their, there & they’re. “There happiness is Mine”. Unless she just forgot the comma….there, happiness is mine. Meaning, there’s happiness right over yonder on the horizon….I’m gonna make it mine (Andrew Dice emphasis). Cute though. But when you have to tell people you’re a straight slayer, yeah, you’re trying to hard. Who she trying to convince? Others or herself?

    • Spelling Nazi
      February 16, 2017 at 8:19 pm

      … yeah, you’re trying to hard ….

      The ironic part to you criticizing their abuse of spelling/grammar, is you yourself apparently not knowing the difference between “to” and “too”.

      Heil Strunk!

  • EBT for sure
    February 16, 2017 at 8:25 am

    Old Mill town, it’s not only a small gene pool. But it’s in the water too !

  • ZephyrCat
    February 16, 2017 at 7:51 am

    Big balls & zero brains. At least they went whole hog, front row. I’m a little confused though. If they had already used the tickets, wouldn’t the date on the ticket let people know this is a scam? Wish you had a close up of the ticket. I mean, yes they’re scumbags. But how dumb do you have to be to not inspect what you’re shelling out $120 to a stranger? PT Barnum- sucker born every minute.

  • BobnMic
    February 16, 2017 at 7:43 am

    FIRSTIES FIRSTIES FIRSTIES

    Pay no attention to the posters above me. I was here first. And don’t you dare even question “muh authoritah”. I’ll have you know that I am the supreme turtle rider here. I’ve been riding the turtle since before Turtleboy even existed.

    • BobnMic's Gerbil
      February 16, 2017 at 8:54 am

      Yep, and you’ve been stuffing your ass full of gerbils even longer than that.

  • JoeMomma
    February 16, 2017 at 7:29 am

    When did Ticketmaster start accepting EBT cards?

  • Jon
    February 16, 2017 at 2:51 am

    Hey you need a fix ya need a fix. Remeber the guy downtown selling the fake superbowl tickets the feds busted him then he got murder downtown a few years back.

  • Worcester County Trap Queen
    February 16, 2017 at 12:54 am

    It’s always the gross stupid people that have 4-year-old’s by 20.

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