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Earlier today Brockton Turtleboy wrote an article about the guy walking around Boston in an A-Rod jersey who got punched in the face. This Turtleboy saw the video and didn’t blog about it because obviously it was fake. So you’ll have to excuse BTB, because he’s new here and doesn’t have our magical Turtleboy powers….yet. Plus he’s from the South Shore, so he’s gonna fall for shit from time to time like this. But before you shit on him, remember that this is the same guy who wrote the world famous  Brockton Fair blog, which had double the amount of page views that Busgate got. His pedigree when he’s on his A-game is pure Turtleboy material.

If you didn’t see the video yet, here it is. The first thing BTB should’ve noticed is that hipsters on five speed bicycles don’t give a shit about sports:

then he should’ve noticed that nerdlinger suits on cell phones don’t start shit with tatooed New Yorkers with tight fades:

Finally he should’ve realized that the guy who “punched” him in the face, a) is obviously his friend that helped him stage this video, and b) barely “punched” him at all, since he wouldn’t want to hurt his friend. After all, it’s just a fake video, not real life. No need to get hurt over it.

Maybe, just MAYBE this guy would’ve gotten attacked for real if he was walking around Jamaica Plain or Hyde Park. But that’s only because they’d be trying to steal the jersey and take his wallet. It would have nothing to do with sports. But no one’s getting beat up in the Back Bay or the North End.

Look, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – there is no tamer, lamer crowd in all of sports than Red Sox fans. They are the most overrated, pink hat, bandwagon fans in all of sports. And I’ve grown up loving the Red Sox. But facts are facts. I could wear an A-Rod shirt in the bleachers at Fenway, berate the crowd about 27 rings I had nothing to do with, and nothing would happen to me. Because the people in my immediate vicinity would be a bunch of junior smokeshows from Swampscott, too busy taking selfies for the Instagram machine to notice me.

The Red Sox-Yankees rivalry is dead for three main reasons, 1) both teams have shitty ownership, 2) a lack of steroids have ruined the game, and 3) neither team is very good. Ever since George Steinbrenner died the Yankees stopped being the evil empire. And ever since John Henry bought this team they’ve turned the Red Sox into pink hat, Sweet Caroline central.

Meanwhile there’s no one on either team to get fired up about. Ten years ago it was Pedro, Manny, and Papi vs. a roided up Yankees roster filled with $100 million players. We were always good, but they were always a little bit better. And that’s what made it exciting. That’s what made it contentious. But now that we both suck (I’m not convinced by this year’s Yankees team at all), it’s not worth fighting over.

So yea, there’s no way this guy actually got punched in the face by a stranger. Obviously that was his buddy and this was a staged video designed for page views. Obviously. Take a lap Brockton Turtleboy.

Want to have your business advert seen by over 900,000 people per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

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