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I’ve seen a lot of dumb stuff about Deflategate, and I’ve also seen a lot of dumb GoFundMe’s. But apparently the two have combined to form what is by far the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen anywhere:

Holy shit, the butthurt has gone this far. I always knew they were dumb, but I didn’t actually think it would actually cost them money. Not only did they fall for all the bullshit. Not only do their loser teams get routinely destroyed by the Patriots year after year. Not only did they come out with ka-ka all over their face when a federal judge said Deflategate was 100% bullshit. None of that was enough humiliation for them. Now they’re actually losing money because of it.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what the butthurt has come to.

Look, this is obviously a huge scam that some Stanley came up with. And I’m not gonna lie, it’s brilliant. We’ve been making fun of butthurt for so long, but we never thought to capitalize off of it. Whoever is running this did. Because obviously this is just a ploy to make a quick buck. They’re asking for $5 million. Ya got that?? Five million freaking dollars!!! Sure, they could’ve kept it reasonable and tried to raise a grand or something, but they decided to go big or go home.

The guy’s name is Jim Purucker. Here’s the story:

HAHHAHAHHAHA. Ladies and gentlemen, this is now the poster child for butthurt:

If you ignore science, logic, facts, federal law, and universal truths, and your team ALWAYS gets routinely demolished by the Patriots, you too could end up looking like this. The funny part is that this guy is already successful. He’s the executive director of Wine and Spirits Distributors of Indiana. His Facebook page is like a dear diary of Colts butthurt:

LOL. The fact that his friends actually think this nonsensical rant could get published anywhere except on Bob Kravitz nightstand proves once again that everyone who lives in Indiana is a moron.

Here’s my question – how dumb do you have to be to give to this? I mean, where in that rant did they even say what the money would go towards? Let’s suppose they do raise $10 million – then what? Just write Roger Goodell a check and have him pencil in a bunch of asterisks in the “record book.” Sounds reasonable. Do these numbnuts realize that this is 2015 and there are no more “record books.” Yea, they’ve been replaced by something called “Wikipedia.” You can go an put an asterisk on there yourself if you’d like, and it won’t cost you $10 million.

Anyone with a brain realizes that by giving money to this they are literally pissing it away on nothing. And apparently this Jim Purucker has got the ball rolling with a contribution of $1,500:

I’m sure Jim Purucker thinks of this as an investment. All the money is going to him anyway, so he donates $1,500 to make this thing look legit and then he watches as butthurt after butthurt lines up to throw their cash at him. Easiest money he’ll ever make.

I wanna reach the point in life where I can piss away $1,500 on something like this and not think twice about it. Sure they could’ve given that money to a legitimate charity that could’ve done some real good for society, but it wouldn’t do anything to alleviate his butthurt. And at the end of the day that’s all this has ever been about – Patriot-induced butthurt. I’ll tell you what a good cause would be – raising money to find a cure for this. Because it appears as if the butthurt is never going to go away. I just couldn’t imagine having to live life like this. Take it for what is it – more proof that God loves us more because we are Patriots fans. Never, ever forget that. You are special. They are not.

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