Constant Failure And His Racist Mom Came On The Live Show For Redemption And Ended Up Comparing Themselves To Holocaust Victims And Ranted About Lesbians 


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Saturday night’s episode of the Live show was supposed to have 5 different topics of conversation with Bret and Bristol. However, due to the fact that the King Vagrant who threatened to kill himself in order to get revenge on Turtleboy decided to come on the show, the entire thing ended up being about him. It was entertaining, but we had audio issues and had to restart twice. Still, there were some classic moments, especially in the third video. Just watch the third video if you watch any of these. I’ve honestly never encountered a more enraging, pathetic excuse for a human being. He compared himself to a Holocaust survivor, and that’s not even the most memorable moment. He is everything that is wrong with everything. My reactions during the video (collaged by turtle riders) say it all.






18 Comment(s)
  • The never ending mortgage.
    August 5, 2019 at 5:39 pm

    That family was in that house for 40 years and there was still a mortage on it that house that was going into foreclosure? 3 generations couldn’t get a 30 year mortgage paid off between them. Fail.

  • Fakecaregiver=bum
    August 5, 2019 at 4:29 pm

    He’s stll claiming caregiver as a defense. Almost 30 years old running errands for mom and granny who you live off does not make you a caregiver. If he had any training even as an entry level caregiver (pca,nanny,pharmacy tech,red cross 1st aid certificate, life guard) he could walk into the many understaffed nursing homes and be on the schedule asap. But he can’t because he’s your garden variety failure to launch millennial. That brutal eviction record means noone is renting to them in mass again and the voucher is never getting put back on. Might as well leave the state your 2 are toast.

  • Gary Dellabatte
    August 5, 2019 at 3:37 pm

    Put me on the show, I will eat Brett up. I will talk over him, yell louder than him and then talk about his mother. It’s not hard to do and he is not as crazy as you think. Once that is complete, I will allow you to pay me to run a somewhat legitimate live show that will not require you to restart multiple times every single episode. You can thank me later.

  • WTF
    August 5, 2019 at 1:28 pm

    Jesus Christ, between the goddam kids in the background, the shitty cellphones, ni**a music this was pretty much unlistenable. Cant you all get together in one fucking room once a week with a half-assed microphone?

  • Turtleboy...
    August 5, 2019 at 12:47 pm

    … looks like Benjamin Button.

  • Morton Downey Jr
    August 5, 2019 at 10:49 am

    Guys, you have to clean it up. This could have been unreal content but way too many people talking at once.

    Your work is great but you have to look to take this to the next level.

    I know you guys LOVE Brett and think he is the funniest and most crazy guy with what he says… but at this point, you have to reel him in. His talking over people sucks and frankly the schtick is old. “You should have opened your mouth and not your legs”…. I mean, that’s something I would expect the other side to say. And the constant announcing who he is by saying his name and talking about lawsuits and crimes…

    Maybe it’s just me but I can see this getting so much more traction if you just pulled it together.

    • light um up larry
      August 5, 2019 at 11:27 am

      Couldn’t agree more, not only does the audio\video suck but they are digging terribly for content. Try paying a few bucks for quality conferencing. can only watch a couple grown men making facial expressions while bashing a homeless old lady and her son for so long

  • don
    August 5, 2019 at 8:56 am

    keep up with the good work turtle guys/girls. i enjoy reading your stories every day.

  • rachelgreene
    August 4, 2019 at 11:45 pm

    This was cringeworthy in every single aspect.

  • Turtle Rider
    August 4, 2019 at 10:16 pm

    Audio issues? This is my shocked face. If you can’t afford a halfway decent microphone than your financial troubles are much worse than you’re letting on.

    • Tom Blackburn
      August 4, 2019 at 11:32 pm

      Word on the street is the Turtle is living in extreme poverty. Food stamps and welfare help.

      • Katlady
        August 5, 2019 at 1:23 pm

        Was the news playing in the background or something? That was awful! I will stick to reading the articles!

  • Real_Finn
    August 4, 2019 at 10:12 pm

    What do you think of the blog?

    “this story is stupid”
    “you don’t know nothing about us.”
    “i had a best friend who was black when i was little”

    But – is the blog accurate?

    • Finn Fucking Fan
      August 5, 2019 at 5:07 am

      Fucking Finn is still out there? No fucking way, hey Finn, fuck you buddy!!! lol, Really bro, good to see you’re still around. Thought you ate an EBT card or something and choked to death.

      • Real_Finn
        August 5, 2019 at 8:36 am

        Nice to be back. It’s pretty interesting to see what TB actually looks like. When I used to listen to the audio version, I ALWAYS pictured him looking like “Leonard” from Big Bang Theory. I also pictured Bret looking like Captain Phil Harris (FV Cornelia Marie) from “Deadliest Catch”. No idea why. I’m pleasantly surprised.

        • Jeff J
          August 5, 2019 at 9:23 am

          Audio issues aside, the whole thing was a shit show with 2-3-4 people talking at the same time. You could barely decipher what was being said. On top of that you have Bret who thinks hacking into the phone is good theater. Awful…….

          • not a fan of audio bret
            August 5, 2019 at 11:07 am

            Yup, also sick of the Bret hacking and belching into the phone, hopefully they don’t have him on live anymore, until then, i’m not listening. Its disgusting AF

  • whatevuh
    August 4, 2019 at 9:54 pm

    OMG give up with this useless shit live podcast, 1-1/2 minutes into it and DONE, What a fucking waste of time.

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