This post from a gravitationally challenged grundlequeen in Everett, accusing a local ice cream truck driver of public masturbation, has nearly 1,000 shares,
Because as you know, if it’s posted on Facebook it must be true. After all, what guy wouldn’t go crank the hog to Moby Thick in broad daylight?
If limp dick had a face. That’s the picture the doctor shows you when you took a Cialis and you’ve had an erection lasting four or more hours.
Then again, maybe the driver was whipping up some rocky loads to her “wife” Jay Savage.
Guess who Jay’s favorite sportball team is.
Flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat. I rest my case your honor.
Despite the biological realities of how difficult and unlikely it would be for a man to dishonorably discharge himself in an ice cream truck to this:
Many still blindly believed her, and nearly 1,000 people and counting have shared her post, shaming a guy who probably doesn’t make much money and brings joy to children everywhere.
One thing that never ceases to amaze me from blogging at Turtleboy is how you can put ANYTHING on the Internet, and there are no shortage of people who will take your post as fact. They don’t care that people who know him say that he’s a decent, hardworking guy just trying to make ends meet.
Some did notice that her story didn’t add up though. Not only was it unlikely the guy would use this mint chocolate ship as spank bank material, but why wouldn’t she call the cops instead of posting on Facebook? Something didn’t add up. She had a message for the haters.
Of course it’s pride month so she had to pretend that people were picking on her because she’s a lezzy. Victim culture is all the rage these days.
Newsflash – no one cares that your girlfriend’s rock beats your scissors. They don’t like you because you’re a deep fried couch potato making up lies about a guy because he wouldn’t toss you a free whoopie pie.
Personally, I blame Sports Illustrated, Buzzfeed, and every other media entity that’s been trying to convince us that morbid obesity is beautiful. This is what happens:
Being a cholesterosorous is not the same thing as being a different ethnicity. You’re choosing to constantly to be an Internet meme by exclusively posting links about pie.
And maybe don’t get a job working at Wendy’s if you’re the kind of chick who wants to inject Baconater into her veins.
I’m guessing that cookies and scheme here tried to get a free sundae, got denied, and decided to try to ruin a guy’s life instead.
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