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Ah, yet another case of the full moon and Friday the 13th crazies ending up in the Turtlebox.

Seems one of the writers saw this gem of a cop-hating comment :

and featured here:

This Agawam Drunkard Absolutely Deserved To Get His Ass Beat, And These 3 Cops Should Be Reinstated Immediately And The Chief Should Step Down

So, there I was, innocently checking our Facebook mail and this trainwreck happened.

Crystal Greenberg,  Crystal Roy, Crystal Lynn Greenberg, or Burples, as she’s also known, the cop-hating ratchet from Springfield, apparently didn’t like that her public comment, on a public Facebook page, was used in a public blog. What a dumb gash.

We don’t usually invest a lot of time in our hate mail but I was bored. Something told me this one was her own brand of special.

Let’s see here. In Crystal’s fab world of the ghetto famous … bullying is apparently illegal. The police were mean to her because she dindu nuffin and so she hates them.”Multiple” people are harassing her and that’s also illegal. Oh, and take her name out our moufs. Did I sum it up well? We aren’t going to remove your comment, Burples. We will do you one better and make you Turtleboy famous.

People are “threading” her and saying mean things about her son. Crystal thinks that she’s the only one who is entitled to an opinion and if anyone says anything about her it’s “illegal”. That’s not how it works, you portly dumpster fire. I can say I think Crystal looks like she’s the victim of inbreeding.  I think that because the lazy eye she’s sporting is a result of her auntie momma and uncle daddy bumping uglies and making her.

I’m just going to leave that one there. It’s the first time, in my short tenure here at TBS, where someone actually threatened to shoot me. She doesn’t make “threads.” She makes “promises.” You do realize that all of that means you have to move your muffin top off the couch from Savers, right?

Oh, I won’t screenshot anything. Promise. Say “hi” to the Turtles, Crystal.

Now she’s “threading” the whole turtle family! Yikes!

Well trashbeast, seeing that there are many of us on with access to this page… one of them used your comment in a blog, another answered your messages and another was engaging you on the page post, it’s probably not in your favor that you’ve got a cock eye. You’ll never be able to focus on all of us in the heat of battle. That thing would just be whirling around in your socket like you’re Mad Eye Moody.

Meanwhile, because we didn’t answer her demand immediately, she took to our Facebook page and was pummeled by some Turtlerider MVPS almost as soon as she posted.

(Volitard is a great way to sum this chick up.)

Here is the ONE “nasty” message that Crystal got and we don’t see any threats. Do you? In fact, I think Tricia summed it up nicely. 

Crystal spent the better part of 15 hours on Saturday fighting with Turtleriders instead of watching her kid. 

I had to ask, after hour 12 of notifications, where was the baby she seemed so concerned about? Was it baby daddy weekend?

Nope, she said the kid was sleeping. For fifteen hours. The poor kid probably was inhaling the fumes from her “proscribed” weed in her “stable” home.

We also found out she was lying about only being arrested once:

Crystal finally deleted the post around midnight after someone who knows her blew her up:

Seems she only yanked it when someone who knows her called her out for having an active case open with DCF, not testing clean on her mandatory drug screenings, and basically being exactly what we knew she was the whole time. I wonder what the caseworkers will think of her when they see she’s too busy threatening me harm on the Internet and smoking weed to take care of her little boy.

People like Crystal, who have baby daddies with names like “Torch Nero” are always involved in having kids and not making them priorities. Running their mouth, smoking blunts, and complaining about the police, are more important than raising the life they brought in to this world. Poor little guy. He doesn’t have a chance with this bush pig as his mother.

Maybe next time Crystal will figure out it’s a bad idea to poke the turtle.

We’d love to hear some stories about of this chick if you have them! Email Us Here!

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