Smiles And Sunshine

Coyote Tries To Eat Delicious Toddler So Bad Ass New Hampshire Dad Has No Choice But To Choke A Bitch To Death

 

Ya know what we haven’t done in a while? Hero of the week. And it’s gotta go to this guy Ian O’Reilly from Kensington, NH for what he did to save his own crotch fruit on MLK Day.

A New Hampshire man fought off and eventually killed a coyote that attacked his family Monday near Judes Pond on the Exeter-Kensington line, local police departments confirmed to Boston 25 News. Exeter Police received a call around 11 a.m. Monday morning that detailed how one father choked the coyote to death after the animal attacked his family on the trail near the pond. A sergeant with New Hampshire Fish & Game added that the incident began when the coyote attacked one of the father’s three children, who he and his wife were walking with along the trail. That father – who officials later identified as Ian O’Reilly of Kensington, N.H. – was able to kick the coyote away from the 2-year-old child before choking the animal to death.

“There was no interest in it going away. [I] ultimately had to make the decision to become the aggressor and jumped on it, attacked it and [got] it to the ground,” O’Reilly said. “When I was able to get on top of it, I put my hand on its snout so it wasn’t able to attack me. There was quite a bit of snow on the ground, so I shoved the face into the snow and then eventually was able [to] put my hand on its snout and expire it through suffocation. Ultimately one hand on its windpipe and one hand on its snout did the trick.”

O’Reilly was apparently bitten in the arm and chest by the coyote. The child involved was also bitten, though the animal did not break the child’s skin due to the snowsuit he was wearing at the time. Since the incident, O’Reilly has already received his first round of rabies shots; he’ll have four more follow-up visits with doctors for more.

The father of three said he was running off of adrenaline and instinct when the nearly 10-minute long struggle ensued. He added that he did not take any pleasure in killing the animal, but believed he had no choice but to protect his wife and kids, given the coyote’s behavior.

Police in Kensington say that other town residents had issues with that same coyote during the day. They say that one person photographed the coyote as it tried to attack a car around 8:40 a.m. Shortly after, police report that Pat Lee, a 62-year-old Kensington woman, had a run-in with the animal 15 minutes later, when the coyote tried to attack her dogs on Hemlock Road in the town. Lee says that the dogs chased the coyote in their yard after one of the dogs was able to open the porch door. Lee then closed the door on the coyote’s head after managing to get her dogs inside. The animal escaped before its encounter with O’Reilly sometime later. New Hampshire Fish & Game say that the same coyote also went after a jogger and her dog, though they did not mention where that incident occurred.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – toxic masculinity is the greatest thing that has ever happened to Western civilization. When men act like men dangerous predators are eliminated and cute little children live life freely. This guy might not look like the kid of guy who will choke a coyote to death:

But if you fuck with his kids, he will put you down.

Coyotes are the sharks of the land. I don’t mind their ongoing existence, but there’s really no need for them. If the went extinct tomorrow the food chain would continue without losing a beat.

“But Turtleboy, they help control the deer and squirrel population.”

Newsflash – hunting and birds of prey do the same thing. What they really control is the pet population, and for that they need to die.

The bottom line is that this coyote was a menace that was terrorizing the town. It went after pets, cars, and delicious toddlers. It got away with it because rabid coyotes think they can do whatever they want and we’re not gonna fight back. Finally, one man reached his breaking point and decided that it was time to choke a bitch. He not only selflessly saved the life of his own crotch fruit, he also potentially saved the lives of lot of pets, and for that he is our Turtleboy hero of the week.

 

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51 Comment(s)
  • bill fleming
    toby
    January 22, 2020 at 8:39 am

    Rachael Rollins has declared Suffolk county to be a sanctuary for coyotes and other wild animals. Any evil white male who defends his family against wild animals will be charged with a hate crime.

  • TOM STEYER
    January 21, 2020 at 8:53 pm

    THIS COYOTE WAS A FLAT OUT BULLY. IM TOM STEYER. THATS WHY ON DAY ONE I WILL DECLARE A CLIMATE EMERGENCY AND OUTLAW BULLYING. COYOTES, SHARKS, GAY FRAT BOYS, NO MATTER, ANY BULLYING WILL BE PUNISHABLE BY IMPRISONMENT. IM TOM STEYER. IM NOT AFRAID TO STAND UP TO BULLIES LIKE TRUMP. WASHINGTON NEEDS AN OUTSIDER.

  • Liz Warren’s Clam
    January 21, 2020 at 7:57 pm

    Spic Tormentor is still the best name.

    • Liz Warren's Gray Beaver
      January 21, 2020 at 8:48 pm

      Try this one.

  • Miss Chris
    January 21, 2020 at 7:40 pm

    Maybe this guy could help out with the Kyote problem in Napa 😉

    • murdochpatsymcreynolds
      Franklin Sucks
      January 21, 2020 at 9:33 pm

      Good one Miss Chris. I got a nice bottle of Chateau Pontet-Canet Cabernet Sauvignon. You still wearing that Trump 2020 T-shirt?

      • Miss Chris
        January 24, 2020 at 1:53 am

        Oooh lala… tres chic FS. But I’m more of a scotch gal. Thanks anyway doll. And yes… always rockin’ a Trump shirt 😉

  • Daniel Boone
    January 21, 2020 at 7:34 pm

    That’s one brave man. If that were me, I would’ve ran like a ………..

  • Road Runner
    January 21, 2020 at 5:35 pm

    MEEP!! MEEP!!

  • Ghost Cowboy
    January 21, 2020 at 5:29 pm

    Ghost Cowboy has a bit of experience with coyotes. When sleeping on the open prairie they would howl all night long and shiver the bones. Unlike wolves, coyotes are pansies and one would not attack. But as they howled and called their friends, a group may approach a campsite where several would have to be dispatched before the rest would flee. The bounty for a pair of ears would provide a few dollars for a cold one and a shot. The fur could be sold for a good meal. The carcass left for the vultures. Dog meat is good, but only when very hungry. Shoot em and skin em pardner.

    • murdochpatsymcreynolds
      Franklin Sucks
      January 21, 2020 at 9:36 pm

      Yes! Ghost Cowboy! Where have you been?

  • Pics or it didn't happen
    January 21, 2020 at 5:21 pm

    You’ve never killed a coyote in your life. And the first time you discharge a firearm in your yard the neighbors would call the cops and you’d be in trouble for discharging a weapon within 500 ft of a residence.

    • coyote terminator
      January 21, 2020 at 9:07 pm

      not so Tinkerbell, 4 years ago a coyote cleaned out all the outside cats in my neighborhood, All the fat chicks that owned the kitties would go around putting LOST posters with little mitten’s picture on all the telephone poles, not realizing that their cats were now coyote shit or fisher cat play toys. One afternoon my dog started going crazy, in the backyard was a coyote jousting with one of my wife’s horses. In most cases the horse will try to flee, if said horse can’t flee it will punt that coyote into the next zipcode. In this case the coyote was hit with a 30.06 armor piercing(black tip) round launched from a WW2 era M1 Garand bench rested on my deck railing, problem solved , No police (was around the 4th of July) I pity any human that ever received the business from an M1Garand.
      KAG
      adam schiff(D) sucks cock

      • ANGRY GIANT
        January 21, 2020 at 9:34 pm

        The Garand is such a beautiful design. “Make it in Massachusetts!”

      • The "other" coyote terminator.
        January 22, 2020 at 11:47 am

        Never done a coyote with a Garand,, i have a bunch of them too. Guess i will try it on the next one.

  • Dirk Diggler
    January 21, 2020 at 4:41 pm

    If no one else wants to fuck his wife, I will

    • Hedley Lamarr
      January 22, 2020 at 11:33 am

      I thought they were brother and sister…kin-kyyy

  • Bill Clinton
    January 21, 2020 at 4:12 pm

    Hillary is a rabid jackal and I would love to choke the life out of her.

  • ANGRY GIANT
    January 21, 2020 at 4:00 pm

    The man wears the traditional clothing of the Fatherland. It is a serious mistake to doubt his resolve, when cold, steely resolve is dictated.

  • Chip Striker
    January 21, 2020 at 2:38 pm

    Puts a Coyote in a headlock , chokes it out and only has a couple scratches? Not buying it, that Coyote would have been flailing his hind legs and nails would have done a lot more damage.

    Try putting your own dog in a head lock and see what happens.

    • Mr. Bubba
      January 21, 2020 at 3:07 pm

      What are you? Some sort of coyote wrastlin’ expert?

      • Chip Striker
        January 21, 2020 at 8:23 pm

        No, but do you honestly think that the guy was able to catch the coyote, put him in a headlock and choke him out while only suffering a couple of minor scratches???

        I’m no coyote wrastlin expert, but I’m not some idiot who believes everything either.

    • Damn you're dumb
      January 22, 2020 at 6:31 am

      Quit your bullshit.

      The Coyote was rabid and weak it had been spotted many times before this. When animals become rabid they stop eating and drinking. Go watch Old Yeller they called rabies Hydrophobia (fear of water) The Coyote most likely hadn’t eaten or drank water in a long time. Which is also evident given it was spotted attacking a car and this dudes getting rabies shots.

      • Chip Striker
        January 22, 2020 at 8:28 am

        You’re diagnosing this coyote with rabies before it’s tested and comparing him to Old Yeller and I’m the dumb one?

        Okay, go watch CuJo then.

        • Oh well
          January 22, 2020 at 8:45 am

          It was tested. And they knew it had rabies within a few hours after the incident. The animal was suffering and that man did what any good father would. He protected his family.

  • Mother Nature Rules
    January 21, 2020 at 2:09 pm

    You people are sick. He didn’t have to kill to defend his child. Fact!

    • george costanza
      The angry taint
      January 21, 2020 at 3:36 pm

      Huh? This is animal was running amok. It attacked a friggin car!. Let me guess you would have tried to convince the coyote that it had trump derangement syndrome? Then you would talk to it in a soothing yet arrogant tone while it ate your face. Ugh what a dullard.

    • Good father
      January 22, 2020 at 8:50 am

      He did what he had to do. Let’s put you in that same situation and see what you do. The man said he didn’t want the animal to die. And it was sad that it had to come to that. The animal tested positive for rabies. So it was going to die. Good parents will do whatever they have to, to keep their children safe. This man did nothing wrong

  • Hugh Mungous
    January 21, 2020 at 1:59 pm

    Great job sir, can you come down to Massachusetts and do that to Elizabeth Warren

  • Cheddah
    January 21, 2020 at 1:50 pm

    Great article and a great father!..
    I agree we do need more HERO stories every 7-10 days or so to keep my faith in humanity existing.

  • Dr. Ed
    January 21, 2020 at 1:40 pm

    Attacking a car has RABIES written all over it, and in addition to Fish & Game, the local cops ought to have been out looking for it. It’s a little bit more serious than someone rolling through a stop sign…

    That said, the answer to this is 3 letters, G-U-N.

    An earlier era, rabid animals got shot before they had chance of hurting anybody. In an earlier era, particular New Hampshire, someone who shot the coyote.

    • Dr Ed AKA Dr Douche
      January 21, 2020 at 3:54 pm

      What are you a doctor of, douchebaggerry?
      Such a moron

  • Coyote Terminator.
    January 21, 2020 at 1:39 pm

    Nicely done. i have no love for coyotes since they tried to kill my pet. Coyotes coming onto my property now stay on my property, courtesy of my 35 Caliber Marlin.

    • X
      January 21, 2020 at 1:47 pm

      Coyotes are invasive species, they don’t belong here and are killing off the animals that do.

  • randiguy2006
    LOLz
    January 21, 2020 at 1:03 pm

    Man did you get fooled.

    This is 100% fake news.

  • Bridgitte Lynch
    January 21, 2020 at 12:50 pm

    PETA will be raking him over the coals. They will picketing HIS JOb, demanding he be Fired , demonstrating at his home. Fake news will be investigating his past, high school, middle school, grammar, preschool.

  • Spic Tormentor
    January 21, 2020 at 12:22 pm

    I bet that dude put on some Kenny G and laid his wife down for some missionary sex that night.

    • Judge dread
      January 21, 2020 at 6:39 pm

      He put on a Kenny g / John tesh megamix. While he goes to enter her with an acorn super glued to his crotch region, all that’s going through her mind is when she was at the dentist getting her teeth drilled the last time she was at the dentist.

      When he’s done she slams down 3 glasses of wine and drops 3 ambien. If nothing more than to forget the experience altogether.

  • Washashore
    January 21, 2020 at 11:48 am

    Since it’s the libs who object to coyote hunts, nice to see one who’s not a pussy…

  • Grammie
    January 21, 2020 at 11:37 am

    My mom used to say she would fight tigers for me, and just the idea of that was thrilling to me. Those kids got to see dad deliver on it!

  • Just Wondering
    January 21, 2020 at 11:32 am

    Did you have any doubts about this story, like every other story?

  • Frank
    January 21, 2020 at 11:01 am

    I once killed a spider in my sons bedroom

    • To you Sir.
      January 21, 2020 at 11:29 am

      Step aside, Chuck Norris! Franks in town!

  • JJ@AOL.COM
    JJ
    January 21, 2020 at 10:52 am

    I wonder how much soy needed to be replenished after his encounter!

    • Mister Rogers
      January 21, 2020 at 11:14 am

      You misspelled gluten free craft beer

  • Tracey Culver
    January 21, 2020 at 10:47 am

    Yeah, don’t wait on the Fish & Game agents to jump in – they’re useless here in Mass and it sounds like also there in New Hampshire.
    Good man, Ian!

    • JJ@AOL.COM
      JJ
      January 21, 2020 at 10:56 am

      When seconds count fish & game are only forty five minutes away.

      • Common Sense
        January 21, 2020 at 2:41 pm

        How many fish and game guys do you think there are? What a stupid statement

        • JJ@AOL.COM
          JJ
          January 21, 2020 at 4:57 pm

          Does environmental police work for you, maybe fish and wildlife? or are you that much of a retard?
          I’ll give you a hint, Massachusetts has both. Get off of our blog you’re pathetic. Trying to make a funny but only making your self look like a straight retard! Off you fuck..

          • Said Nobody
            January 22, 2020 at 2:12 pm

            Does environmental police work for you
            Very well said
            You are clearly a highly educated individual.

  • Peter Dautel
    Don Key Punch
    January 21, 2020 at 10:40 am

    Drop.The.Mike.

    *boom*

    Job well done sir!

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