All-Star Criminals

Defendant Of The Day – Harsh Punishment For Guy Who Attacked Worcester Cop While Holding A Knife….Again

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The Worcester Courthouse records are what we refer to at Turtleboy Sports as, “Alumni Newsletter.” It’s mostly Worcester’s finest getting a stern talking to for driving without a license, but about once a day you see one winner who stands out from the rest. Today’s Worcester Courthouse Records Defendant of the Day is a guy named Augustine Melendez. He makes our list not because of what he did, but because of what his punishment was:

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Wait a minute….the PIP Shelter is still open? I thought they closed that place a few years back? I used to read the courthouse records and think that 701 Main Street was some magical apartment building where Worcester’s finest chose to live amongst one another. Turns out it was the PIP Shelter the whole time.

Anyway, the guy got a CWOF and had to write a letter of apology. That’s what you get for attacking a police officer while carrying a knife in Worcester. It’s SHOCKING that you see the same names over and over again in the courthouse records with cruel and unusual punishments like that.

So like, how long does this letter have to be? Can it be double spaced? Does he have to use MLA citations? And does he really need two weeks to write it? Couldn’t the judge just have said, “You’re not leaving here until you write that officer an apology letter for attacking him?” Apparently the judge thinks he’s gonna go back to the PIP Shelter, find his MacBook, open up Microsoft Word, write a couple drafts, and then finally email the sincere letter of apology.

Oh yea, and you wanna know what else is the least shocking news of the day? He was already arrested for this exact same crime two years ago:

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So let me get this straight. In Massachusetts, you’re allowed one mulligan, when it comes to attacking a police officer with a knife? Then strike two is a letter of apology. I can’t even imagine what strike three is. No Hotel Vernon for a week?

I’m glad to see Augustine has settled down and made a home at 701 Main Street. And good thing Tracy Novick, Chris Robarge, and the ACLU are fighting for his right to panhandle!! Because making sure people like Auggie have their free speech rights protected are clearly a priority for Worcester’s finest School Committee member and cop/teacher-hating organization.

God Bless the Commonwealth of Massachusetts!!

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5 Comment(s)
  • WORC
    April 6, 2015 at 5:22 pm

    ” NO HOTEL VERNON FOR A WEEK ” Hahahahaha I almost pissed myself laughing .

  • ryan
    April 6, 2015 at 3:57 pm

    Yeah while residing in a homeless shelter. Must have Salerno on retainer

  • Legal Profession
    April 6, 2015 at 3:34 pm

    It may just be he had a great attorney! Simple as that.

  • RSoxGuy
    April 6, 2015 at 3:11 pm

    And here I was, thinking that our glorious and brilliant City Council banned knives in the city limits a few years back…. Maybe this will show the anti-gun morons realize that you can ban what you want but it will never remove them from the streets.

    Take away guns/knives and only the criminals will have guns/knives.

  • I hate bad
    April 6, 2015 at 2:22 pm

    Fucking criminals suck. They are such a pain in the ass. They all should be round up and have electric shock prongs put onto their private areas with maximum voltage! Because they SUCK!

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