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So the Super Bowl was obviously a dud. You know who called this exact same matchup and outcome back in July? Local Worcester boob Jimmy Latino. Yea I know, picking the two favorites to make the big game isn’t exactly going out on a limb, but nevertheless, we decided to do a series of interviews with this prophetic individual as the game went on. We wanted to know his thoughts on the game, but more importantly the answer to several other questions involving Erin Andrews naked videos and Super Bowl prostitutes. Lots of Super Bowl prostitute questions. Here’s the pre game interview:
JL apparently doesn’t have time for the hard hitting questions about Erin Andrews. His pick of Seattle was obviously spot on, but nevertheless, we would’ve preferred to know more about whether or not he’d be willing to go to jail if Erin Andrews paid him to videotape her changing in her hotel room like she did for that other guy.
With the score 22-0 at halftime it was time to ask JL the hard hitting questions about WTFIGO? It appeared to us that Richard Sherman sent a legion of prostitutes to Peyton Manning’s hotel room like LT used to do back in the day. The first interview got interrupted when the cameraman got into an altercation with the TurtleBoy Sports reporter, and some fat bastards started making hot dogs in the background:
Luckily, the second interview went a little better:
So the answer is apparently yes, Richard Sherman did in fact send a prostitute to Peyton Manning’s room last night. Luckily for us Manning somehow found a way to be even worse in the second half. When it came time for the post game interview, our TBS reporter evidently had to finish up his post game smash first, before asking JL the hard hitting questions….
I’ve watched this interview several times. I still have absolutely no idea what Jimmy is talking about. Well, besides the million dollar prostitute that he thinks Malcolm Smith purchased. I got that part. There has been no confirmation that the Super Bowl MVP actually went through with this.
Speaking of Super Bowl MVP’s, TurtleBoy would like to remind you that in our Super Bowl prop bets blog we told you to bet on one of the following for MVP: Russell Wilson (15/4) or The Field (25/1). They were just such obvious picks. Quarterbacks or some random defensive or special teams player are the only people that can win MVP’s. I still think Wilson should’ve won it, but if you bet the field as we did, then you got a nice little pay day on your investment. There were just too many people not listed that could’ve won it. Like, every person on the Seattle defense not named Richard Sherman was considered the field. Just way too many ways the field could’ve won MVP last night.
Here’s a list of the other obvious winners:
Seattle over 6.5 penalties.
Will there be an on sides kick? Yes (+225)
First penalty will be a false start. (5/2)
Knowshown Moreno WILL NOT cry during the National Anthem. (-175) Obviously they wouldn’t even show him on TV.
Broncos under 24.5 points.
Will Michael Crabtree tweet about Richard Sherman? No (-500). Easiest bet ever.
Seahawks win straight up. (+115)
Coin Toss? Tails
Peyton Manning UNDER 27.5 Omaha’s heard on TV. Fox never even miked him up. Although, I kind of wish they did.
Peyton Manning longest completion under 37.5 yards.
Peyton Manning exactly 1 Touchdown pass. (7/2)
Marshawn Lynch under 90.5 rushing yards. Not even close.
Russell wilson exactly 2 Touchdown passes. (9/4)
Eric Decker under 60.5 receiving yards.
Knowshown Moreno under 62.5 rushing yards.
Russell Wilson under 32.5 rushing yards.
Wes Welker 7 or 8 receptions. (5/2)
Russell Wilson throws more TD’s than Manning. (+1 for Wilson). (+115)
Renee Fleming’s national anthem in seconds will be greater than Manning first half yards.
If you have any questions you want us to ask JL for the next TurtleBoy Sports interview, then leave it in the comments.
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