Dorchester Reverend Ratchet Using Church As Front To Sell Fentanyl, Percs, And Suboxones Does Baptisms In Kiddie Pools And Always Keeps It 100

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Oh look, another “pastor” up to no good and hiding behind the cloth:

Oh laaahhhdd Jesus!!! Bless him father for Reverend Ratchet has sinned!!

What a scam this guy had going on. Not only was he selling fentanyl, he was also selling suboxone, which I’m pretty sure is what junkies take when they can’t get off fentanyl cold turkey. So basically he was selling the cause of the “disease,” and then selling the cure. That’s like a selling a first grader three weeks into the school year when the flu starts going around, and then throwing in some Tylenol half price. Now THAT is a racket!! Oh, and just for fun he was apparently pilfering $20K worth of excavating equipment from a random company and storing it in his tax free “church.”

But seriously, is there any better way to clean your money than being the pastor of a church? You don’t pay taxes. No one suspects you. You can funnel some cash into the “building fund.” And you have a congregation of mindless zombies who have your back. Like these winners:

Only God can judge!! Hope God likes fentanyl!

Then there’s this:

It’s true. None of us are perfect. Some of us lie to our wives and tell them we threw out our shoebox full of nudie magazines. Others use their church as a stash house for pushing mad weight all over Dorchester.

Rosalind Queen and Sha Na Nah had some words of wisdom too:

See that? That’s why people become atheists.

Plus, does it even say you can’t sell opiates in the Bible?

Guess not. It also doesn’t say anything about me paying federal income taxes. Looks like I won’t be paying that either. Church is fun!!

Oh, and of course it’s racist to have a problem with pastor drug dealers like the good Reverend Ratchet:

Because EVERYTHING is racist.

Anyway, if you couldn’t tell this pastor was up to no good from a mile away, then your ratchet radar is broken:

Ya know who wears sunglasses like that? People who use the confessional booth to meet up with the connect.

Ya know who wears all white suits?

People who have lots of money but haven’t paid taxes in 30 years.

Growing up I can’t recall seeing Fr. O’Laughlin walking around in his wife beater:

Or taking selfies with his wife beater tans:

Plus, the dude wears cargo jorts with Hawaiian shirts:

You can never trust a man who thinks it would be a good idea to wear cargo jorts. That’s just science.

Don’t worry though, he cleans it up for Sunday worship:

Of course the dead giveaway that you’re a parishioner at a bootleg church that’s been used as a drug front is if you have baptisms in a kiddie pool in the parking lot

Pastor Willie knows how to play the game though. His Facebook page is filled with inspirational quotes that his wife found on Pinterest:

He never takes nothing “for granite”:

He shares memes that make you “think about it”:  

And he always keeps it 100 with the parishioners:

What I wanna know is, was he still passing around the collection basket on Sundays? Because right now he’s just a shady drug dealer pretending to be a man of God. But he obviously had plenty of money, so if he was still taking from these poor people too, well, only God can judge.

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