We get a lot of hate mail at Turtleboy Sports, but can’t remember getting a message this legendary in a while.
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Every day we get some fantastic hate mail from butthurts. But today we received quite possibly the most epic, nonsensical rant from one of Douglas’ finest, who wasn’t happy that something he said was screenshotted in a blog we published earlier today. We wrote about some Webster Wangsta who got busted for stealing a $3,400 necklace in a snatch and run at the Auburn Mall Sears.
We screenshotted an epic hoodrat conversation from his Facebook page:
And then today we got this in our inbox. Trigger warning – make sure you have a bottle of aspirin ready to go, because this dose of hoodrat gutter soup is gonna give you a headache like you’ve never felt before:
Sweet baby Jesus. I need a cigarette after reading that. Seriously, what is the deal with these people and their period-phobias? Why do they hate periods so much? Is it really that hard to hit the God damn period button? If you’re on a phone you don’t even have to capitalize the next letter. It will automatically do that for you. I don’t get it.
And for the millionth time, you chud stuffers have no idea who Turtleboy is. I know you all get stuck on one name because you think Turtleboy is one singular person, and you’re so fucking stupid that you actually believed something that Dreadlockzilla wrote about us over at the Turtlegram. But we have more writers than you realize, and they all pen under the name “Turtleboy.” Don’t you get it? Writing for Turtleboy Sports like sharing your Netflix password. You have no idea who is writing each one. That’s the beauty of Turtleboy Sports. Anyone can pen for us and we won’t reveal their identity.
So these messages came in spurts. Guess he thought we were ignoring him. In reality we’re just kind of busy and don’t have time to immediately respond to every gutterslug who wants to air their grievances. Maybe we should hire a secretary. Because our inbox has become a hot mess.
Anyway, for such a hard ass Corey St. George doesn’t have much of a digital footprint. Usually when we Google these people we get a page full of their favorite courthouse memories. But he comes up with nothing. If you think for one second we’re gonna be intimidated into taking a blog down because some GED caboose with no priors told us to, then you clearly don’t understand what Turtleboy Sports is all about.
Don’t. Poke. The. Turtle.
P.S. Corey, we know you’re reading this. We cordially invite you to share your thoughts on the Turtleboy Sports Facebook page. Brett Killoran and Matty Mo and the boys are looking for a new play toy.
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