Nudniks

Drunk Leicester Man Does Blarney Burnout, Immediately Crashes Into Police Cruiser

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Saw this gem on the Worcester Police Department Facebook page:

Man Doing “Burnouts” in Car Collides with WPD Cruiser on Park Avenue

Worcester, MA (August 7, 2015)- On Friday, August 7, 2015 at approximately 2:00 AM, A Worcester Police officer operating a fully marked Worcester Police cruiser was traveling north on Park Avenue, approaching the intersection of Maywood Street. At the same time a male operating a 1997 Ford Mustang was conducting “burnouts” on Maywood Street in front of the Blarney Stone Pub. There was a small crowd outside the pub cheering the driver on to do more. The driver, later identified as Jonathan Nagle, 25-years-old of 16 King Street Extension, Leicester, continued to do a “burnout” when his car travelled west on Maywood Street and into the northbound travel lane of Park Avenue.

Mr. Nagle had a flashing red light at the time he entered Park Avenue. Meanwhile, the cruiser had just entered the intersection in the northbound lane when the Mustang collided into the front of the cruiser.

The cruiser came to a stop facing northwest in the middle of the intersection while the Mustang came to a stop approximately 123 feet from impact. The Mustang stopped on Maywood Street, west of Park Avenue. Both vehicles received extensive front end damage.

Worcester EMS arrived at the scene. Mr. Nagle refused medical treatment. The officer received minor injuries and was transported to a nearby hospital for treatment. The officer was treated and released later on in the early morning.

The cruiser was operating at normal speed and was not responding to an emergency call; no emergency lights were on at the time of the collision.

Both vehicles were towed from the scene. Both vehicles appeared to be a total loss.

Mr. Nagle was placed under arrest and charged with Operating a Motor Vehicle while under the Influence of Alcohol, Failure to Use Care in Starting, Operating a Motor Vehicle Negligently so as to Endanger and Failure to Stop for a Flashing Red Light.

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Well, I’m sure Jon Nagle had a nice little Friday. I mean, who doesn’t feel good after smashing down some Blarney Long Island Ice Tea’s, crashing into a police car, spending the night in a hot jail cell, and then waking up at the crack of dawn for court? Sounds like fun.

Seriously though, this is the most Blarney story I’ve ever heard. Bruises will heal, but Jon Nagle will forever live on in Blarney lore. He’s up there with that guy who is forever banned from the Blarney for throwing Wendy’s all over the bouncer in a drive by back in ought four.

Just think about the luck that this genius had too. I mean, what are the odds that at that exact place and time he would go through a red light and directly hit a police car? It’s gotta be at least one in a billion. That’s God specifically picking you out for being an asshole.

The only thing funnier than this story, are some of the comments I’ve seen on the WPD Facebook page:

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Hilarious.

And this guy really needs to stop talking:

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We had to ban this guy from our Facebook page because he has a tendency to say some kind of racist shit sometimes. Which is weird because this looks like the face of a rational guy:

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In all seriousness though, calm down Bill Scanlon. I’m so sick of bars being held responsible for people who do dumb things when they’re drunk. I mean, what are they supposed to do? Go around and ask everyone who’s driving? Breathalyze everyone before they order a drink? Newsflash – everyone in the bar is always drunk. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be at the Blarney Stone sober. If the person isn’t stumbling and making a fool of themselves, then they don’t really stand out. From what I head this kid blew a .09. Most people I encounter aren’t very fun to be around until they blow at least double that.

Look, the Blarney can be a magical place if you do it right. Cheap, stiff drinks. Cheaper, mediocre, accesible Worcester babes. Buck hunting, Blarney babes taking dumps in the men’s bathroom, games involving hanging string from the ceiling that only Blarney regulars know how to win, Blarney popcorn, cheating at Blarney trivia, Blarney laps, Blarney friendships, Blarney miracles, etc.

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But the Blarney is such a magical bar because it’s usually not overrun by morons. And anyone who thinks a burnout is a cool thing, is by definition a moron. “Hey look, he’s spinning his tires really, really fast and the friction it’s creating is causing toxic fumes to come directly at us. Yeaaaa buddy!!!!” There is no bigger white trash power move than the burnout. The only people worse than the ones who are doing the burnouts, are the idiots cheering them on.

As soon as I heard about this, the first thing I said to myself was “I bet you he’s from Spencer. Only someone from Spencer would be that dumb.” Turns out he’s from Leicester, which is basically Spencer with a Walmart instead of a Whitco. Just another guy from Leicester with a Mustang.

Look, I’m gonna cut this guy some slack, because he’s a veteran. He’s done more for my country than I could ever dream. It doesn’t give him an excuse to be a fuckup now that he’s a civilian. But at the same time it’s not fair to let one bad, unlucky night at the Blarney define a person. Just keep that shit on the other side of Cherry Valley from now on.

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28 Comment(s)
  • Steven Stover
    August 9, 2015 at 11:02 pm

    I see at the segment about the Vernon Hill principle that the censorship is happening. This tells me you are no better than the T&G . Actually they don’t censor. So you suck and for that I am done here.

  • GoWPD
    August 8, 2015 at 7:34 pm

    And this is the whiteboy version of 1996. Mustangs, burnouts, and the blarney. I bet any amount of cash one or both of the drivers were wearing a champion sweatshirt and a backwards visor, while Informer by Snow was blasting out of his 12 inch sub woofers. When keeping it exactly like you were in the late 90s goes horribly wrong….

  • Publius
    August 8, 2015 at 4:11 pm

    Is this jerk off military?

  • Gayle
    August 8, 2015 at 4:05 pm

    This is not the correct picture. I have this picture saved from two years ago.

  • August 8, 2015 at 2:13 pm

    Of course he’s from Leicester !!!! Just go behind Worcester Airport on Mulberry Street and see all the rubber on the street. That’s the only thing that Leicester boys can do right!!!!

  • Cody
    August 8, 2015 at 1:34 pm

    Holy shit, could this site be MORE of a complete and utter rip off of Drew Mcgearys articles from deadspin? The copy cat style is so glaring this could almost be considered plagiarism.

    And all from Worcester (LOL!). Kudos on a total lack of originality, you guys

    • xayxel
      August 8, 2015 at 1:50 pm

      Still more entertaining than you not even consistent or talented enough to run your own blog site. I would like to read it if you do have one…

      • Cody
        August 8, 2015 at 2:45 pm

        There it is! The legion of defense for someone pointing out what is an obvious fact, that just hits a little too close to home for you as a “fan”. It takes “talent” to regurgitate the work that someone else already completed and made themselves famous for? Do tell me more!

        I knew Worcester was a terrible city, but I didn’t know everyone there was a moron, too. Though, I suspect you would have to be kind of stupid to actually choose to live in Worcester.

        Cheers!

        • xayxel
          August 8, 2015 at 4:11 pm

          Naw, I just want to see his blog site. I respect people that take the time to create things, even if some of their articles are douche-y. Where do you live Cody, you pretentious tough guy? How original are you in your ability to convey words? What is this ‘work’ you speak of? Show me the link. In terms of it being an original news story or they way TB described the Blarney stone, do you think he orchestrated the fact that some fool drove his pickup smack into a police car? If that’s not entertaining for you because you’ve seen that kind of thing before on some other news stream, oh well. I just read TB sports every now and then to hear of the happenings of people that live there locally.

          I’m not sure how someone choosing to live in Worcester where you would lambast a few of my colleagues for doing so would make them morons. If I told you I live in the outskirts, does that make you feel better? Colleagues that in Worcester that I know contribute to the biotech industry as well as various engineering and robotics firms that lurk around here are not the problem. Not everything in Worcester is ghetto. Of course, you sound pretty ignorant if that’s what you think. If you now are going to tell me you live in Boston or its surrounding areas, please stop this conversation for your own good. The first bit of irony to that would be the existential question of wondering if it ever occurred to you that statistically speaking, if you’re like a majority of people on the Eastern state paying an insane amount of money for overpriced rent or property and then spending most of your waking day just trying to pay off those bills so you can feel sophisticated even though ultimately nobody cares would be a real travesty. If you say you live somewhere else that’s even more ‘trashy’ than Worcester, I think you are the one who would have to reflect how moronic you’d sound.

          • xayxel
            August 8, 2015 at 4:14 pm

            PS. If ‘Deadspin’ and TB sports sound similar simply because they have a similar writing style, give it a rest. If he is literally plagiarizing article after article, word for word, then I will agree with you. Show some clips to validate your points.. and feel free to elaborate where you live.

          • Cody
            August 8, 2015 at 6:53 pm

            Wow you really could not have provided a more perfect set of responses all around here. Textbook troll! Thanks for playing, buddy.

          • xayxel
            August 8, 2015 at 9:10 pm

            PS. Hey Cody, a troll is someone who just has an unintelligent reply or commentary that has no rational argument to back up what they’re saying… that would be you. You can’t even account for the observations I made… pretty weak.

  • Kym squid
    August 8, 2015 at 12:47 pm

    This kid has shit luck. I’ve known him for years he was my daughters friend. He’s a good kid

  • BobnMic
    August 8, 2015 at 12:04 pm

    It’s a freaking UFO!

  • Samantha
    August 8, 2015 at 10:58 am

    Um its not a Mustang in the picture, but its also not a corvette, either. Its clearly a pick up truck… and not even a Ford… its a toyota tundra I believe.

  • a.h
    August 8, 2015 at 10:57 am

    That pick up doesn’t look like a mustang…

  • Anna Phalatic
    Mark
    August 8, 2015 at 9:02 am

    Um, that isn’t a Ford Mustang in the photo…looks more like a Corvette

    • Katie
      August 8, 2015 at 10:13 am

      In the pic on top it looks like a truck not any type of car.

      • RSoxGuy
        August 8, 2015 at 11:51 am

        Its a full size pick-up. Toyota Tundra.

        Kinda looks like its on Shrewsbury street too. Nice trees, wide sidewalk….

        • Savvybear Turtleneck
          August 8, 2015 at 1:55 pm

          It’s a file photo from over a year ago when a pickup ram into a cruiser at main chandler and Madison (the border between downtown and main south

          • Capt. Obvious
            August 9, 2015 at 10:37 am

            There’s a border between downtown and main south?

  • Vanderbooger
    August 8, 2015 at 8:19 am

    Cut him slack because he’s a veteran??? Tim mcveigh and adolf hitler were also veterans.

    • Capt. Obvious
      August 9, 2015 at 10:36 am

      Uh, yeah… um…

  • juror seven
    August 8, 2015 at 7:44 am

    Of course burnouts, that’s what made the Summer Nationals such a must see event in the city every 4th of July weekend. Oh sorry, people got sick of that one trick pony event.

  • Frogshit
    August 8, 2015 at 7:38 am

    Darwinism 101…

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    August 8, 2015 at 1:11 am

    Good thing he’s white, or else Brenda and Keesha would be blaming the cop for getting in the way.

    • An etymologist here
      August 8, 2015 at 3:07 pm

      Did the alphabet break? I just heard an, Oh snap!

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