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Drunk Oklahoma Mom Falls Out Of Truck, 3 Year Old Son Takes Wheel And Crashes It

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NY Daily News: A 3-year-old had to guide a pickup truck to safety after his drunken mom tumbled out of the car on a rural highway in Oklahoma on Wednesday. The toddler steered the truck across four lanes of traffic while standing on the seat to reach the steering wheel for about three blocks before crashing into a curb, cops said. Taloa Foster, the drunken mom, told cops she dropped out of the truck while trying to buckle her son’s seat belt. Her twin sons were trapped in the truck as it hit the curb. The two kids were uninjured from the daring drive, cops said.

Foster was walking along the road when her children crashed the truck, witnesses said. Bystanders were comforting the distraught twins as cops gave the drunken mom a sobriety test. Cops found an empty liquor bottle on the truck’s floor, according to report. The 33-year-old mother was arrested and charged with child endangerment after being suspected of drunken driving, the Pontotoc County District Attorney’s office said.

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Sweet baby Jesus. It’s PAT!!!! That’s a chick? Someone looked at this woman and said, “I’d like to procreate with her”? Good God, there really is hope for anyone.

First of all, how the hell do you fall out of a truck you’re driving if you’re trying to buckle your kid’s safety belt? Oh yea, and isn’t the kid three? Shouldn’t he be in, oh I dunno, A CAR SEAT!!!??? You know when a good time would’ve been to make sure his seat belt of his CAR SEAT was buckled? Before she started driving. Or better idea – don’t drive at all, since you’re wasted.

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The miracle here is that the kids somehow survived this thing. A three year old child stood on the driver’s seat and drove a car across four lanes of traffic before crashing into a curb. How does a 40 pound human being live to tell that tale?

I gotta say, I’m impressed that this kid actually had the sense to take the wheel. Turtleboy Jr. is around this kid’s age. No fucking way he’s got the sense to grab the wheel, and if he does he would drive it directly into a tractor trailer or a little old lady. This is a kid whose daily goal is to find a way to kill himself, and thus my job becomes spending the entire day making sure he is not successful. If Turtleboy fell out my pickup truck in a drunken stooper Turtleboy Jr. would’ve found a way to die before the car ever even crashed. So good for this kid for surviving his lush of a mother and the matching haircuts she made him get in his three years under her care:

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So yea, don’t drink and drive. And if you do, please don’t do it with your kids in the car. And if you do, please make sure you’re not around anyone else. And if you are, then please make sure you at least buckled their seatbelts.

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9 Comment(s)
  • typical white person
    October 28, 2015 at 2:19 pm

    God, this probably isn’t the only time this three year old has had to pick up the pieces after “mom” did something stupid.

  • Nanny
    October 26, 2015 at 12:53 pm

    Keep lowering the bar, Turtleriders.

  • TDF
    October 26, 2015 at 6:47 am

    “This is a kid whose daily goal is to find a way to kill himself, and thus my job becomes spending the entire day making sure he is not successful.”

    No truer words about a 3 year old have ever been spoken

  • BobnMic
    October 25, 2015 at 7:54 pm

    Jesus H. Christ ya think she munches some hefty carpet? She is about as feminine as Caitlyn Jenner: “I Look More Feminine Than Serena Williams.”

    Only ten times worse.

  • Pensrant
    October 25, 2015 at 7:24 am

    Kids can sometimes be resourceful when their parents lack parenting.

  • Maggie the Cat
    October 25, 2015 at 6:30 am

    Seems the kid is smarter than his mother. He saw there was a problem and attempted to solve it.

  • Strata
    October 25, 2015 at 6:18 am

    I’m thinking she’s a troubled person with an alcohol problem. Hopefully this is a wake up call. Hope she changes.

    • Wabbitt
      wabbitt
      October 25, 2015 at 2:24 pm

      Hope in one hand and shit in the other. Guess which one will fill up first.

  • Capt. Obvious
    October 25, 2015 at 5:49 am

    I’m thinking lesbian and artificial insemination.

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