Editor Walter Bird Is “On Leave” At Worcester Magazine After We Exposed His Inappropriate, Unwanted Sexual Messages To Several Women, But Does He Still Think We’re Fake News?
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Of course this was hardly the only time Wacky Walter has been irresponsible on the Facebook machine. Every time someone criticizes the shoddy fake “reporting” that comes from his free magazine that bored people who forgot their phones in the car browse through while waiting for their food at Bushel n Peck, they get this response:
Dude is just bad for business. That’s not his name – it’s the company’s. It’s his employer. And he’s using it to act like a child because he is a child.
We had no problem with him for a while, but then he just got turtle on the brain and started throwing shots at us. One of his reporters reported on the rantings of a lunatic in an orange suit who claimed he had called protesters morons, a day after Mayor Petty apologized for calling those same protesters morons because an obvious video recording showed he said it. The guy who replaced this reporter (Buttmunch Billy Shaner) is obsessed with us. It’s a strange infatuation, but he clearly underestimates what we do to deplorable people.
And last week, Buttmunch Billy did something deplorable – he accused City Councilor Michael Gaffney, the realest politician in Worcester, of quoting a white nationalist pedophile. A quote that is almost always attributed to Voltaire on the world wide internets. There comes a point where a man learns when the right time to burn a bridge is. And at this point it was time for Gaffney and Turtleboy to burn the bridge with Worcester Magazine and release the inappropriate messages from Wacky Walter.
Anyway, a source told us earlier this week that Walter Bird was suspended for what he did. Today it was confirmed:
Worcester Magazine editor Walter Bird Jr. has been put on leave while the publication investigates allegations made against him. In the Thursday edition of the weekly newspaper, Publisher Kathy Real wrote, “Last week, a local blogger and elected official, collaborated in levying serious allegations pertaining to Worcester Magazine’s editor Walter Bird Jr. The allegations are reported to have occurred several years ago. Front and center for us is holding ourselves to the highest ethical standards. We take such allegations seriously.
“It is also very important that we investigate and report on the facts regarding the allegations. We also report on what we know about the malicious intent exhibited by the authors. Walter Bird is cooperating with Worcester Magazine.”
Hey Walter – still think we’re fake news? (24:12 mark)
Still think we just blog about people “with tattoos, who beat up their sisters?”
Nah dude, you must not have been paying attention. We’ve been doing your job a million times better than you for the last three years. We took over the media when you weren’t looking. You must’ve been listening to the idiots at City Hall who you’re in the bag for. You must’ve been reading Red Danny Margoli’s communist lies and propaganda. They convinced you that poking the turtle was a good idea. You thought we were vulnerable. You thought we were losing our touch and our following. You thought you could take us down.
Boy were you wrong.
Oh yea, and how hilarious is it that Worcester Magazine and the Turtlegram and Gazette both went out of their way NOT to mention the word “Turtleboy?” They can’t say our name because it will break them into pieces, but they can in the same breath say that we are capable of levying “serious allegations.” If we weren’t real news, why would they even read the blog? Why would they take it seriously? We’re just a trashy blog that only makes fun of ratchets. We never do any “REAL” journalism like Wacky Water.
Also loved how they had to throw this in there:
“We also report on what we know about the malicious intent exhibited by the authors.”
The authors they’re talking about are the Turtleboy editorial staff and Gaffney, since much of the blog was an email he sent us from his personal email. They’re trying to say that we had “malicious intent” when we reported the completely inappropriate messages the editor of Worcester Magazine was sending to younger women, at least one of whom alleges “Mr. Bird had influence at her place of employment as well.”
I guess that means reporting the REAL news that no one else is, about a man who gets credentialed media access to all sorts of bake sales and minor league baseball games, makes us malicious. Also known as – doing your job for you.
So what’s Wacky Walter doing in his free time? Looks like he’s blogging on Medium.com bragging about how much “blogs” are kicking his ass:
How journalism is under attack (And not just by Trump)
The easy target for journalists nowadays when it comes to defending our beloved institution of journalism is President Donald Trump. But we were under attack well before the former reality TV star and avid Tweeter took up residence at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. And by the same weapon of his choice: social media. It did not happen overnight, of course. Like all good relationships, there was a honeymoon between society and social media. But once we truly comprehended the power that comes with instant communication, all bets were off.
Whereas, in what now seems the time of dinosaurs, newspapers and broadcast news dictated the pace of disseminating information — remember when you bought a newspaper in the morning and didn’t already know all the stories? — social media has zipped by at the speed of a bullet. Anyone and everyone with a cell phone (preferably one armed with a camera), an iPad or tablet can capture “the news” and get it out there for mass consumption within minutes. Think about that: although estimates vary, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics in May 2016 there were 40,090 reporters and correspondents working in the U.S. The worldwide number is, ostensibly, much higher, but it is safe to say we are outnumbered by the everyday Joe Facebook users.
And many of them are calling themselves journalists. Bloggers are among the biggest offenders. What constitutes news nowadays has come to have a rather loose definition. And with trained journalists struggling to keep up, the things that most define the industry — ethics, accuracy in reporting, etc. — have suffered.
Turtle. On. The. Brain.
Can someone please keep this man off the Internet?
It’s painful to watch him do this to himself. It’s like he never runs out of rope to hang his career with.
“Yea, you people out there on Facebook think you’re real journalists? You think Turtleboy is real journalism? It’s not!! They’re not even trained journalists!! They don’t start Facebook posts off with “from the newsroom.” Plus, we’re “struggling to keep up.” The rest of the world should wait for us in the MSM to get them yesterday’s news from Turtleboy, tomorrow. Turtleboy doesn’t report on unemployed toilet scrubbers like Steve Quist that start Facebook pages with 200 followers. Only we provide that sort of hard hitting journalism.”
“They don’t have any ethics either. Totally NOT classy like we are with our brand!”
Here’s my question – how can any legitimate business still have an ad in Worcester Magazine? We know they have a pushy sales staff that hunts down everyone who opens up a business in Worcester County, and convinces you that you have to advertise with them. It’s bad enough that no one reads WoMag anyway, and your ad will never be seen. But what makes it worse is that you’re paying this asshole’s salary. Why would you want to contribute to this? Seriously, where are the boycotters now? This is a REAL sexual harassment issue. It’s right there in the text messages. He’s been put on leave. They called our reporting “serious allegations.” He did it. So then why aren’t these people who always accuse us of being sexist, going after Worcester Magazine’s advertisers?
Oh yea, because Walter Bird takes it easy on them. He doesn’t expose when they steal money from the taxpayers. He doesn’t carry Joe Petty’s water for him and produce men in orange jump suits to jump on a grenade for the Mayor. Because these protesters don’t really think we’re sexist or racist or any other identity politics laced bullshit. If they did they’d be going after the media outlet that employs a man who cyber-sexually harasses women, instead of the media outlet that exposed him.
But we’re better than the boycotters. We don’t need to go through Worcester Magazine and harass all their advertisers and tell them to stop supporting this sexual harasser. We know they’re reading this, and we’d like to give them an opportunity to advertise with us instead. Whatever they’re charging you we’ll charge 50% for a million times more exposure, and way, way, way more business.
P.S. People have asked if we’re adding him to the Turtleboy graveyard. Not until he’s fired or resigns in disgrace. The standards are strict to have your own plot in the Turtleboy graveyard.
P.S. #2: This is the most blatant ripoff of our award winning Bone Ride series:
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