It’s been almost a year since Failure Swift hired a hack State Rep to sue Turtleboy in ALL CAPS because we posted a video that SHE put on Facebook of herself emasculating and humiliating her cuck husband Metro Narcissi while he was in bed trying to watch TV, and it “caused injury to her feelings.”

During that video Metro accuses her of:

• Plotting with an attorney behind his back to get the deed to the house in her name
• Stealing $35,000 from him for her “business,” which is really just a series of pyramid schemes and and her selling homemade lotions that claim to be “anti-cancer“
• Being a “fucking thief”
• Telling the lawyer to “hurry up” so she can divorce him – which would make Metro just the latest in a long line of husbands who she has divorced after bleeding dry in the last 15 years

I used to be sympathetic towards Metro, but at this point he can go fuck himself. This emasculated beta male allowed this woman to:

• Cost him his job as a band director in North Smithfield High School
• Post videos like that on Facebook
• Feeds into her obvious mental illnesses by repeating her INSANE lie that I hacked into her phone and posted that video on her Facebook page (it was a Facebook Live video, so only the person filming it could’ve posted it)
• Continues to allow her to not get a job and finances her “business” which costs money instead of making it
• Is financing an expensive lawsuit that has gone through multiple attorneys and has no chance of winning because she got her feelings hurt
• Allowed her to throw out pictures of his well liked deceased wife the moment she moved into the house because she was jealous of the attention
• Feeds into her make believed illnesses
• Allows her to harass and humiliate healthcare workers employees at Kent Hospital
• Stood by and did nothing as she got restraining orders against his family members and essentially chose to be estranged from his brother, sister, and father because she didn’t like that they told him the truth about her

Metro is no victim. He’s a college educated musician and educator. He knows better, and at some point he needs to be a man. But he’s not a man. He’s a pussy who disgraces his real wife every day by moving onto this walking trash bag.

Anyway, I don’t talk about this lawsuit much anymore because the Rhode Island ACLU took up the case once they saw that the judge violated the First Amendment by attempting to ban me from writing about Failure Swift. But as you can imagine, the woman who was once kicked out of Kent Hospital for pretending to have had a grand mal seizure has been milking the commie cold for all its worth. Apparently everyone in her family got sick, but she’s the “last of the Mohegans” in the house still fighting the bug.

Don’t worry, she’s got holistic medicine for that too.

Despite being deftly ill (as usual) she’s still able to perform in her home jazz duo with Metro (an actual, talented musician who threw away any chance of being hired to do gigs because she insists on being his singer).

And apparently she doesn’t like the fact that I haven’t given her attention in months, because she woke up Easter morning and made this video dedicated to Turtleboy. If you don’t feel like listening to all 26 minutes I don’t blame you. The highlights are below.

8:40

• Continues to tell the lie that I hacked into her phone, which she was holding, and posted the video of her emasculating her husband on HER FACEBBOOK PAGE
• Says “What kind of couples don’t go to counseling?” (maybe one where the unemployed wife doesn’t steal thousands from the husband)
• Metro says that he was only rude to her in that video because he was stressed from his relatives who he chose to abandon for her

9:25

• She pretends to cry about Metro’s real being dead, once again showing that she can’t stand when people talk about the dead wife because it takes the attention off of people feeling bad for her imaginary diseases

10:00

• Says that “we shouldn’t have to spend $20K on legal fees,” to sue me

Suing me was a choice she made. When I spoke with Metro on the phone I told him that she was milking him dry with this lawsuit and that predatory lawyers were gonna bleed him dry. I even offered to take down the blogs on her to make this go away, but she told him that she wanted an apology too, which I wouldn’t do because I’ve done nothing wrong. So there’s no “we” when it comes to the legal fees. It’s him paying for everything because he’s too much of a pussy to tell his abusive, lunatic wife “no.”

11:30

• “If enough people email the AG we can get him taken down”
• “It’s not free speech to take stories about my other husbands and turn it into a story that I’m a black widow”
• “We have proof that you hacked into our phones, it’s our personal stuff that you have no right, and we’re like of getting stuck under the Richter scale. So we need to build an army right now and private message who is in this army and we’ll send you where to send the email to to the AG. Cyber stalking is ILLEGAL!”

So she’s attempting to organize a campaign to mobilize the government of Rhode Island to turn their attention away from the commie cold and figure out a way to censor me instead.

13:55

• Revelation that Metro’s coworker alerted him that someone contacted his work

Good. Metro is a disgrace and has no business working with kids in West Warwick if he chooses to be part of his wife’s online fantasy world. You’re a fucking adult Metro. Act like it. At this point you deserve to destitute when she eventually leaves you and takes your house and your money.

15:45

• “This guy somehow got the ACLU saying that this is freedom of speech for him to be posting stuff like this and it’s not.”

Yes, it is.

16:30

• “We’re gonna need a bunch of people emailing the ACLU saying this isn’t OK, because there has to be a main ACLU.”

I don’t think you understand what the CL in ACLU stands for, stupid.

• “We need people who are going to be willing to report anything that we need taken down. They have a podcast, they have blogs, they have YouTube. And this all shouldn’t be on the Internet. This shouldn’t be on Facebook.”
• “We need help. We need an army of people because it’s going to take hundreds of people who really care who will just report and report and report this stuff until someone says OK”

Translation – I am a Fascist who believes that anything that is critical of me should not be allowed on the Internet.

• “Because we tried taking the silent quiet high road.”

At no point has Failure Swift ever attempted to remain silent or take the high road.

• “No one is reporting this to the FBI to the cyber bullying unit. They have looked at this.”

No, they have not. That’s about as real as Bristol Blarney’s story about me being prosecuted by the Hampden County DA’s office for taking a picture in court.

I can’t believe I ever felt sorry for Metro. He really is a horrible person, and might as well chop his balls off at this point. Failure Swift is obviously mentally ill and needs to see a doctor, but he feeds into her delusions because he’s too much of a coward to be alone. He needs a snuggle buddy. Metro is a disgrace and has no business teaching. It would be a shame if any turtle riders in the West Warwick Public Schools parent group on Facebook made them aware of the dumpster fire who works in their building.

Now enjoy some of Failure Swift’s greatest hits.

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