Fart Porpoise Mom Passes Out On Top Of 4 Month Old Baby & Fights Cops At 4 A.M.

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Something tells me Christina Bianchi isn’t getting a necklace made of multi-colored pasta or a card for mothers day this year because, drugs.

Last week a police officer in North Reading was patrolling the streets around Christina’s neighborhood after a call went out about a possible B&E on Crestwood Drive.

While driving down Chestnut Street he saw a garage door left open, lights on in the house and could hear crying coming from inside the house where Christina lives. He looked through a bedroom window and saw that Christina was unresponsive so he went inside and found her passed out face down. THEN he realized there was an infants hand sticking out from under her.

Once he could assess the baby and call for medical assistance he placed Christina under arrest. Naturally, like most junkbox junglefowl, she resisted arrest. Ya know, because that usually goes over well. Nothing says “thanks for saving my baby from suffocating under my negligent dope carcass” like becoming combative towards the fuzz.

Given her track record I’m really not too surprised:

Most basic white chicks take selfies with a Starbucks in one hand and a dash of duckface. Christina takes selfies with her friend nodded allll the fuckin’ way out in the passenger seat next to her. #blessed

So then I’m thinking “ok, well Bianchi is jacked up and awful but maybe the baby’s dad is in the picture.” I mean they did have some really sweet baby bump photos of themselves.


Well, it only took me about 38 seconds to figure out that Mike is ALSO an enormous turd flounder with his own set of undesirable life skills. His most recent accomplishment? Robbing a Speedway gas station.

“Michael Tallini, 32, of North Reading, is wanted on a charge of unarmed robbery, police said in a press release issued Tuesday night. He is alleged to have robbed the Speedway gas station on Main Street just before 9 p.m., and fled with an undetermined amount of cash, the release stated.”

-(Boston Globe 9/6/17)

Mom passes out from exhaustion after a day spent riding the H-train, almost kills their newborn AND dad gets popped for knocking over a gas station, all in one week? This poor baby would probably have a better shot at a normal, nurturing upbringing if she were being raised by circus carnies.

“Judge Elizabeth Cremens set bail at $1,000 cash and ordered the defendant to comply with conditions of the Department of Children and Families, to not consume any drugs or alcohol and to submit to random screens.”

What a joke.

By all means, give this crotch-mantis her child back after she almost killed it due to her own self indulgent recklessness. Then next time she does something wildly negligent the courts can file her court documents under the “oops we’re a fucking joke” category. OR! We can stop lowballing bail amounts and giving innocent kids back to shitbag parents who only care about themselves and their “disease.”

Can’t wait to see how Mike makes out in court. With the way Massachusetts operates I wouldn’t be surprised if they give him a cash prize and the key to the city.






6 Comment(s)
  • Sue
    September 11, 2017 at 11:23 am

    Drugs will always come before this woman poor innocent child. When your so screwed up you can’t hear you infant crying because YOU are smothering the baby with you doped out body, you need to check yourself in somewhere. Thank god she didn’t drop a lite cigarette on that babies sensitive skin. Just born and this is what your home life is all about. Pisses me off so bad!!! Kids don’t ask to be here, we bring them into this world and some like this little one, already don’t stand a fair chance. For once think of someone other then yourself. Lucky the cop got there or chances are they would be planning a funeral but let’s not forget the cop sucks. Bitch should be kissing his feet for saving her child.

  • They call me Ponch
    September 10, 2017 at 9:24 pm

    This is the exception, not the rule.

    Yeah right.

  • tngsucks
    September 10, 2017 at 1:46 pm

    Maybe dealers selling heroin laced with birth control could just get a fine and no jail time. This might solve a few problems associated with it.

    • Tired of Don't Snitch Pussies
      September 10, 2017 at 7:38 pm

      Why not just get the stuff laced with carfentanyl and do all of society a favor. It kills the dregs, which eventually puts the pushers out of business, and the politicians and treatment industry have to find something else to profit from. Win-win-win-win!

  • The Rant Queen
    September 10, 2017 at 12:54 pm

    Mass is a fucking joke. I cant fucking wait to leave this dump.

    And LOL DCF wont take that baby now. Its literally damaged goods now. Probably has physical injuries that will affect him/her the rest of his/her life. People dont adopt kids who cost money lolol

    • Puddintaine
      September 10, 2017 at 1:07 pm

      No one’s forcing you to stay. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out

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