Hoodrat Heroes

Florida Teens Tape Themselves Lure Their Friend To Home To Beat Relentlessly; Kind Of Sorry

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Lifetime movies are some of the cheesiest, scripted, dramatized nonsense on television. But when my fiancé puts them on, I just can’t turn away. Last night the movie of choice was about these six popular girls who befriend a nerdy girl, and then lure her to a house and beat her unconscious while they film it. The victim is a dork so she feels privileged to hang with the cool kids.

At the end the mother of the victim grants the defendants mercy because they were being charged with kidnapping and faced life sentences. So they didn’t end up going to jail. It turns out this was based on a true story so here’s the video of what actually happened.

Another example why Florida is such a terrible state. There’s trashy people everywhere, but in Florida they’re a special breed. Six girls who were angry about who skipped out on the last bill at Denny’s. Everything about these Florida girls is trashy. The pink pajama pants and the white tank top with the gut hanging out just reek of Florida. It’s hot. It’s muggy. They’re not getting dressed up.

The most painful part about this besides the vicious beating, was that listening to their accents. They just sound dumber the more they speak. Like, how mad can you get at someone because

“You were telling people you don’t like me. He told Kaitlin my best friend that you did.”

Imagine caring about something like that? Oh no, someone doesn’t like me. I’ll befriend them and lure them to the house for a choreographed and filmed beating and think nothing is wrong with it.

This is what we’re dealing with for defendants:

polk-county-8-1

When I think of Florida, Zachary Ashley is EXACTLY what I think of. Every single one of them is OOZING Florida. I can just hear the ignorance spew out of their mouths. April Cooper, who did the beating in the bedroom and later in the living room, looks like a real honors student. You would assume that after the victim’s mother asked the judge for leniency and they all got probation, that they would be very apologetic and remorseful.

No such case.

Cara Murphy was holding the camera that night. She was heard saying “Oh, yea, oh yea, oh yea,” as Victoria was being beaten. Here’s what she had to say afterwards.

It might not be possible to hate anyone more than this girl. First she says the charges were dropped because she was obviously not guilty. Wrong moron, they were dropped because the victim’s mother saved you which was obviously a really stupid idea because you’re an idiot from Florida who doesn’t know right from wrong.

She says she’s ready to move on, and leave this behind her. You know, like just forget it ever happened. It never, ever happened.

My favorite quote was:

“During the time I could definitely say, I felt..scared for. But, um, I guess I just didn’t realize, how, like, how much, it like, it was bad, like, you know. But once I saw the video, it made me realize that this was a really bad thing that happened”

How does this person have any friends at all? She has NO soul. It’s like the whole time she’s trying to explain what happened, but she just can’t do it. Her vocabulary consists of no more than 25 words, so she has to make all her sentences out of those. It’s like normal people playing wheel of fortune, except she does it in order to speak.

And I love the life lesson she drops on us. “People don’t realize that you can get in trouble for putting stuff on the internet.” No honey, actually the rest of us do. When you’re watching your next fight at the Dairy Queen, just understand that that’s not SUPPOSED to happen, and should not be part of your life. How stupid can you be if you didn’t realize that you could commit a crime, put it on youtube, and become surprised when someone sees it and makes a big deal about it?

And just think, in ten years, that’ll be someone’s ex-wife. She’ll have a baby and the life cycle will continue in the great state of Florida.

What penalty should these girls have gotten? Feel free to leave comment to keep the conversation going.

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2 Comment(s)
  • Phia
    May 16, 2021 at 12:07 pm

    I think they all should’ve gotten a minimum of two years in juvenile/jail, probation and restitution.
    Whoever videotaped should’ve received probation and restitution.

  • SLM
    April 3, 2014 at 4:34 pm

    Florida SUCKS. I think the heat and humidity warps their brains. Fingers crossed for that $hithole to break off and fall into the ocean.

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