Hoodrat Heroes

Food Stamp Friday Just Got A Bit More Brazen Today On The Brockton Hub

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Happy mufuggin’ Friday y’all! This is absolutely me today. I’m one of those people who can’t dance, yet the feeling just takes me away…And I might as well have feathered hair.

It being Friday means one thing, people are a poppin’ with them stamps and that includes this guy lookin’ to buy named Troy Wilson, who got pretty gosh darned daring by posting this in the Brockton Hub:

Just in time for Food Stamp Friday too!

Bro, I’m filled with so many mixed emotions right now. No one likes welfare fraud, no one likes the idea that junkboxes sell stamps and that you’re a predatory asshole for fueling their habit by purchasing them. I just can’t help but admire the “zero fucks given” way you operate. Like, fuck posting that on your own page, dude went straight to The Brockton Hub, because of course The Brockton Hub, and yelled from a virtual roof top that be was looking to become a “permanent customer”. He’s not here to hit it and quit it, he’s in it for the long haul. I have to say that’s a smart move considering you reduce the chances of getting caught that way. Obviously, dude’s smart. He went to Quincy College where I’m pretty sure they have a class dedicated to the selling and purchasing of food stamps.

Ladies, he’s single! And, uh, sorry about whatever was happening here that didn’t work out:

What? Nope, I can’t put anymore energy into whatever the fuck that is. My head’s about to explode, anyway…Listen man, we’ve all been there. Rough times, money’s tight and you’re hard up. I get it, but all you have to do is cut back on the non-necessities. For instance, all the bling and flat brimmed hats you refuse to bend:

Stickers still on the damn hat, too. 10+ ratchet points.

Perhaps maybe pick up a hobby to reduce stress, cleaning might be a good one for you. As you’re over here stuntin’ like a boss, your home is looking like a garbage dump in a 3rd world country. But seriously Troy, get help for your flat brimmed hat addiction:

No Troy, multiplying the picture by two doesn’t mean you have three hats. Get help. And a job. And stop trying to get the plug with food stamps. And remember, The Turtle is always watching…

Remember guys, you can always report welfare fraud:

  1. By phone. Call our toll-free hotline at 1-800-Fraud-99 (1-800-372-8399).
  2. By mail. Download the Suspected Fraud Reporting Form and mail the completed form to: DTA Program Integrity. …
  3. By fax. Download the Suspected Fraud Reporting Form and fax the completed form to the Fraud Investigation Unit at: (617) 348-5479.

Happy Food Stamp Friday!

Manchesterturtlette@gmail.com

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4 Comment(s)
  • whatevuh
    July 2, 2018 at 6:59 pm

    In Massachusetts, there are 766,000 people on food stamps. With any luck, we can hit a million next year

  • WeAreFucked
    June 30, 2018 at 6:47 am

    Can’t blame him for wanting to save 25-50% on his groceries can you?
    Why isn’t an ID required when using yo’ stamps card?

  • Concerned Canadian
    June 29, 2018 at 10:05 pm

    One multiplied by two equals two.
    There where three pictures, therefore it was one picture multiplied by three.

    Which also happens to be a 200% increase from the original amount of one picture, which makes 3 pictures.

  • Michael Hunt
    Mike Hunt
    June 29, 2018 at 6:14 pm

    He definitely ain’t spending it on salad!

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