Hoodrat Heroes

Freshman Fifteen Felicia And Other Horny College Coeds Willing To Spread Coronavirus On Spring Break So Long As They Can Get White Girl Wasted And Stuffed

 

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In case you needed a reminder of what the Bernie Sanders Revolution looks like, you probably have seen on the news that the legion of Gen-Z noobz on spring break are NOT practicing social distancing, and thus are contributing to the spread of coronavirus.

Why Governor DeSantis allowed this is beyond me, but the whole thing is so Florida it hurts. The rest of the country seems entirely on board with coming together to stop the spread, and then Florida had to come in and do Florida things as usual.

But you can’t really understand just how stupid they are until you watch these interviews on CBS:

That video is like an infomercial for raising the voting age to 25. Please, tell me why ANYONE interviewed there should be allowed to decide who runs our country. You can’t. Let’s check out what some of these winners had to say, starting with Bryson Taylor.

“We’re just trying to live for the moment.”

Yea, that about sums up every Bernie voter ever. Fuck everyone else, I get whatever I want, and we’ll figure out the details later. This douchebag was cursed the moment his mother fired the little raw dog trophy out of her baby cannon and elected to name him Bryson.

Then there was Brianna Leeder from Wisconsin.

Yea guys, there’s a worldwide pandemic and everyone is sacrificing, but Brianna came all this way to get fucked by a drunken stranger from Kentucky, so you’re really messing up her vibe.

And of course Brianna and her friends strictly drink…..

White Claw. The official drink for chicks who plan to get stuffed by a guy who drinks Hennessy.

Atlantis Walker said that the virus “ain’t that serious,” and thinks we should be addressing hunger and poverty instead.

Yea, good thing millions of Americans aren’t going without paychecks because they can’t go into work. That might lead to poverty.

Then again, when glamour shots in discount clothing store parking lots is all you have to look forward to back at home in South Bend…

I can understand why you’d be willing to spread an infectious deadly disease to your elderly relatives just to get away from it all.

Next up was Brady Sluder from Cincinnati, who is everything that Gerry Callahan imagines when he thinks of college students.

When your reaction to an international crisis that is completely preventable is “YOLO,” you should forever be forced to undergo mandatory sterilization.

If he gets corona, he gets corona. He’ll be fine because no one in the world under 30 has died from the virus, but Grandma can fuck off and die the next time he sees her. He earned this much needed vacation by playing high school basketball and posing for bathroom selfies.

Last but not least is my favorite one of them all – Shelby Cordell from Indiana, who decided to help further the spread of an infectious disease because she just turned 21 and really wanted to get white girl wasted.

Who wore it better?

According to her IG Shelby is the lead singer for a band called Electric Catfish, which is the blonde bimbo version of trying to become a YouTube rapper.

Her music career began a few years ago with her hit song Forgotten, which was basically just an auto-tuned song about her and her friends looking for dick on spring break.

Then the freshman 15 hit and Shelby went from Amy Adams to Amy Schumer real quick.

It’s gonna be hard to fap to that later when you think of her music. Hard, but not impossible.

According to her she wants to get dirty for arrival.

She of course calls herself a pit bull mom.

And in a move that will live on in skank folklore for decades, she honored her dead grandmother Doris by getting a butterfly tattoo right where the guy from Ohio State whose name she can’t remember would be grabbing onto for leverage in order to pound her into oblivion.

She’s not a one hit wonder though. Shelby has put out a lot of smash hits that all sound like a bag of dead fetuses in a battery powered blender that’s running low on juice.  Such hits like “pay up,” about how you should give her money for knowing how to use auto-tune.

Or ICY, which is about her and her and her backup dancer Bulimia Bonnie seeing how many things they can rhyme with icy while reminding the Phi Sigma Kappa where they can stick it if they feed her enough White Claw.

She also does acoustic hits with the guy who doesn’t realize that he’ll forever be stuck in her friend zone, and never in the fun box.

Don’t worry though, she might be spreading a deadly contagious disease, but she saved the ocean from pollution and is dating bootleg JJ Watt.

So obviously she’s a deep thinker.

Anyone else still think we should be forgiving college debt?

 

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65 Comment(s)
  • Fat Girl Titties
    March 25, 2020 at 4:11 pm

    I can’t get over how ugly all those kids are. What’s with Shelby’s big face? Why does Brianna look like she’s already a grandmother of 8? No way she’s in her twenties.

  • Mike Smith
    March 23, 2020 at 3:30 pm

    Lol you found everyone but the Lizzo lookalike I was wondering what her story was

  • Joe 6 pack
    March 21, 2020 at 10:55 pm

    3 weeks ago i would have put shelby on the payroll. Today, I’m happy i have jerk off material. Btw any update of the billerica fire chick or princeza?

  • Bob Murchison
    March 21, 2020 at 9:12 pm

    Shes giving me a lil’ chub

  • Surprised Flapjack
    March 21, 2020 at 10:42 am

    These “kids” look they are pushing 40, with all the redness and the fat.

    It’s like the Official W.C. Fields Fan Klub.

  • Tee (BL)aargh
    March 21, 2020 at 2:21 am

    Oh yes. That bum is the right kind of a plumper for my pumper.
    Safe bet that she’s experienced the airtight treatment more than once during this investment excursion.
    Must be fun when she simultaneously pukes and blows wet shit on her partners. Not that they’d miss a beat. Still got to nut, even if your covered in nachos, cheese and mixed drink residue.

    • I was talking about Shelby Thick
      March 21, 2020 at 2:26 am

      In case it wasn’t obvious.

  • God
    March 20, 2020 at 1:23 pm

    I still like how these retards consider spending money on a plane ticket and hotel room an investment. Investments are something you put money into in order to gain something greater after a period of time. I guess spending $1500 to get corona, gonahyria, or a lovely combination of the two could be considered an investment if you ate paint chips as a child

  • MAGA
    March 20, 2020 at 11:48 am

    Anyone who leaves their houses should be shot in the head by the federal government.

  • John Galt
    March 20, 2020 at 10:22 am

    Looks like a squirrel with it’s cheeks full of nuts.

  • Turtz McGurtz
    March 20, 2020 at 10:00 am

    Shelby!! Hit me up…

  • Tim
    March 20, 2020 at 7:26 am

    Shelby looks like the slam pig you look for at 2:00 am when the bar is closing and all the prime has been scooped up.

  • Sir Wilfred Death
    March 20, 2020 at 7:22 am

    I’d like to see a research piece/story on what happens to attractive college age girls who make bad decisions early in life and then reach 35. With pictures. Maybe it could be posted like those before and after meth posters.

    TBS archives has plenty of research material. Go back a few years and follow up on people like Crack Feen Barbie.

    It might save someone.

    Social Media is Cancer

    • Memory lane
      March 20, 2020 at 1:29 pm

      I found my old 8th grade year book and did a few name searches. HOLY SHIT! I can’t believe this one broad hasn’t made it on TB yet! FB posts about her abortions, baby on the way- no baby daddy of course and the ratchet FB fights in the comments. Loads of pics featuring the henny drinking crowd. Just pure Brockton trash.

      It was a beautiful trip down memory lane.

  • VolunteeringForShovelDetails
    March 20, 2020 at 6:46 am

    I mean look at all those Bernie Bros that won’t be voting this November because they’ll be dead. I’ll gladly volunteer for a federal detail for the shovel ready project of digging the shallow graves along route 95. We can name every 1/10th mile after each one of these idiots.

  • Silencio Dogood
    March 19, 2020 at 11:31 pm

    “more serious things out there like hunger…,” said the rotund spokesman for a generation, only outweighed by the tiny face in a fat head woman from Louisiana, who hasn’t missed an in between meal since birth. the White trash flotsam of Bratz Dolls and 3rd Generation Wiggers are America destroyed by an enemy within.

  • JoeMomma
    March 19, 2020 at 9:25 pm

    Corona virus is not the only disease you can catch from her.

  • Deliverance
    March 19, 2020 at 8:22 pm

    those bros look like extras from the Hills Have Eyes

  • Mike Lanoue
    March 19, 2020 at 8:20 pm

    I have the cure to Coronavirus. It’s available exclusively at the CBD Store in Warwick. 199.99 a bottle. Mention this post for a 10% discount.

  • Gaffneys Testicle Purse
    March 19, 2020 at 8:09 pm

    I bet her asshole is sweeter than Vermont maple syrup.

  • Andrea Grocer
    March 19, 2020 at 8:01 pm

    When I see all that sand I cannot help but think what a lovely litter box!

    • Natick Outdoor Store
      March 19, 2020 at 8:02 pm

      How Dare You!!!

    • Silencio Dogood
      March 19, 2020 at 11:36 pm

      Check out West Point Beach in Liberia’s capital of Monrovia, they are way ahead of you…

  • Dan Dearborn
    March 19, 2020 at 7:55 pm

    Is someone cooking a tuna melt?

  • Glen Campbell
    March 19, 2020 at 7:54 pm

    shelby is a fat and ugly slampig, easy pass

  • Bob Murchison
    March 19, 2020 at 7:47 pm

    Please post more pictures!! My nutsack is throbbing!!!

  • Yo Mama
    March 19, 2020 at 6:42 pm

    The warm sunshine kills the virus. They are safer on the beach than anywhere else in this dumb ass country. Leave the kids alone and let them party like every other year. If it was 80 degrees in Mass today you bet your ass everyone would be at Revere Beach. We only close beaches for big ass sharks.

  • Judge dread
    March 19, 2020 at 6:40 pm

    Every single one of these Panama City cum dumpsters both male and female are so fucked up they literally look like someone punched them in the eye. All the sluts look like DV victims and the guys look like they smoked too much weed and got knocked out by some drug dealer in a drug deal gone bad.

    I wish the fleas of a thousand camels infest their genital regions.

    • Mia
      March 20, 2020 at 5:08 am

      That’s the dumbest shit I’ve heard so far. It spread in Broward County, Ft. Lauderdale, from Port Everglades. Employees were the ones to get sick. The heat did nothing to prevent the spread of it. I’m in the middle of an epicenter right now. I’d love to know when the heat will make a difference because it sure as fuck hasn’t made a difference yet.

  • The angry taint
    March 19, 2020 at 6:07 pm

    That blonde in some photos looks like Quagmire’s daughter……giggity

  • Guitar Guy
    March 19, 2020 at 5:08 pm

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha! One of the chumps in her band plays through a Peavey solid state amp. You fag.

  • Dead Ringer
    March 19, 2020 at 4:24 pm

    Shelby is Deputy Droopy from the old Tex Avery cartoons. Google it. Can’t post the pics…

    • D'OH!!!
      March 19, 2020 at 4:28 pm

      More like the short crook in that cartoon…

  • Rachael Rollins' crusty meat-flaps
    March 19, 2020 at 4:24 pm

    Thanks, Uncle TB !
    You confirmed what I’ve been thinking for quite some time:
    With this upcoming generation soon in charge… WE ARE FUCKED !!

  • Citypoint
    March 19, 2020 at 3:39 pm

    Is Shelby a real blonde?

    • Carpet Says
      March 20, 2020 at 8:15 pm

      No

  • whatevuh
    March 19, 2020 at 2:57 pm

    Shelby = trailer trash bimbo destined to work forever at Dunkin Donuts

  • Lay off the chips and soda
    March 19, 2020 at 2:55 pm

    It this thing does make it to 35, she is gonna be a big,thick, welfare single mom.

  • Shelby Does Doughnuts
    March 19, 2020 at 2:47 pm

    That weird looking fat broad is 21 ?? That’s a rough 21, kids !! She’s already got that under arm fat going on and she’s already got all that jowl face fat, too . I picture a run down double wide trailer and a litter of dirty, ill-behaved mixed breed sprogs in her not-too-distant future. Yuck !!!!

  • Build a wall...
    March 19, 2020 at 2:45 pm

    around the state of Florida, please.

    Every idiot in that video looks sick, but they probably already had a touch of something else before.

  • Captain Trips
    March 19, 2020 at 2:42 pm

    One of those chicks that isn’t good looking, thinks that they are, and keeps the drunken pump and dump college crowd happy

  • Kosh Naranek
    March 19, 2020 at 2:40 pm

    Their parents must be SO proud….

  • Alex Reimer
    March 19, 2020 at 2:37 pm

    I’m also heading to Fla this weekend, Key West y’all! C’mon down fellas, the more the merrier! Oooooooh!

  • Liawatha
    March 19, 2020 at 2:26 pm

    I for one believe we must forgive all college debt. How tuition and associated costs have spiraled so far out of control is beyond me.

  • Ray Patriarca
    March 19, 2020 at 2:11 pm

    Back in 1941, our Government put a call out to the young adults of America. We had a little problem on our hands. You see, Japan had just bombed Pearl Harbor and Hitler was marching across Europe. The young adults of America answered the call, picked up rifles and helped America solve a big problem. And 416,800 died fighting that war.
    Today?
    Today our Government needs help again. It has asked the young adults of America to…..just stay the fuck home!
    It isn’t asking for military service.
    It isn’t asking for any physical sacrifice.
    It’s just asking for a little cooperation….and just stay the fuck home.
    And maybe, just maybe, think of someone other than yourself for once in your short, useless life!
    In just 80 years, the Greatest Generation has become the Self-absorbed, Useless Generation !

  • ElJefe72
    March 19, 2020 at 2:00 pm

    “Why Governor DeSantis allowed this is beyond me, but the whole thing is so Florida it hurts. The rest of the country seems entirely on board with coming together to stop the spread, and then Florida had to come in and do Florida things as usual.”

    I’m sure you realize that most of these kids are not from Florida, but from all over the eastern United States. In fact, I’d wager that a large percentage of them are from your neck of the woods, Turtleboy.

  • don
    March 19, 2020 at 1:49 pm

    florida beaches have been cleared for about two weeks now. you can view the cameras of the beaches online. a friend of mine lives on the beach and said they have been cleared. and shelby is one nasty looking chick. she better get the dudes drunk just to sleep with her.

  • Spic Tormentor
    March 19, 2020 at 1:44 pm

    I never understood spring break. College itself is a non stop party. If you have to travel to a shithole like florida to pipe out beefy, drunk swamp donkeys at bars than you’re doing it wrong.

    • Fun in the sun
      March 19, 2020 at 3:50 pm

      The attraction is the anonymity, if you want to do things with strangers you wouldn’t or couldn’t do at home. There’s much less if any anonymity now, with smart phones, surveillance everywhere, and those family-history databases that can track you down if you had unprotected sex with someone you though you’d never see again. Law enforcement, probably the feds., and many other countries use those mostly-Israeli-owned databases, too.

  • The Kid
    March 19, 2020 at 1:42 pm

    fat face, fucked up weird looking mid-section, fat thighs with a gap the size of the grand canyon and a fat smelly ass

  • Bristol crew kedd
    March 19, 2020 at 1:38 pm

    It’s one thing to post a few pictures of the broad because shes an idiot but its another to go through her account and post pictures of her scantily clad dude you’re a fucking predator only old men who dream of young girls while they choke the chicken in their basement behind their broken computer do this type of predatory shit
    What a dirty old skeez you are you fucking predator

    • Dick Scratcher
      March 19, 2020 at 1:40 pm

      She posted them publicly for the world to see, you fucking moron.

      Now, off you fuck.

      DS

  • Bring Out Your Dead
    March 19, 2020 at 1:37 pm

    But I’m not dead yet.

  • Zzzz
    March 19, 2020 at 1:35 pm

    This is what people should pay you for?

  • KUNG FLU STYLE
    March 19, 2020 at 1:34 pm

    Faggott doesn’t let you post YouTube videos here any more. If he did it would have been wu tang ant nothing to fuck with instrumental. So type that in you tube. listen, sing along and keep it going. Here is my rendition!

    WUHAN FLU ANT NOTHING TO FUCK WITH, WUHAN FLU ANT NOTHING TO FUCK WITH, WUHAN FLU ANT NOTHING TO FUCK WITH! KUNG FLU STYLE. YO, YO, YO, YO, YO, I’VE BEEN SITTING IN MY HOUSE FOR DAYS STAYING AWAY FROM ALL THE DIRTY PEOPLE WITH THE WUHAN FLU COUGHING SPRAYS AND LAUGHING AT THE OTHER PEOPLE HORDING AND PRICE GOUGING TOILET PAPER AND LYSOL SPRAYS LIKE ITS THE END OF DAYS. KUNG FLU STYLE. YO, YO, YO, WUHAN FLU ANT NOTHING TO FUCK WITH, WUHAN FLU ANT NOTHING TO FUCK WITH, WUHAN FLU ANT NOTHING TO FUCK WITH. KUNG FLU STYLE. YO, YO, YO, WUHAN FLU ANT NOTHING TO FUCK WITH! KUNG FLU STYLE!

    KEEP IT GOING!

  • Truth
    March 19, 2020 at 1:33 pm

    Young people breaking the rules???? (Clutching my pearls) HOW DARE THEY???

  • Josh Tibbets
    March 19, 2020 at 1:26 pm

    If I get aids from bsng8ng HTTG i get sids. I already got syphilis from my hockey cellmate.

  • General Robert E.
    March 19, 2020 at 1:22 pm

    And Gov Ron DeSantis will blame it all on Trump when its is all over. He has the authority to shut the beaches down. States Rights and all. Send the National Guard, locked and loaded on a march from end to end. Crack some heads. Collectively raise the IQ of the herd by killing off the darkest, dumbest and drunkest.

  • Myopia Country Club
    March 19, 2020 at 1:16 pm

    When you are starring at 60+ years of Herpes in the face, what’s killing of grandma next week.

  • Dick Scratcher
    March 19, 2020 at 1:14 pm

    A face like a bulldog licking piss off a stinging nettle……..

  • Even Tom Brady is going to Florida
    March 19, 2020 at 1:09 pm

    Nothing really surprising here, in historical context. No risk, no reward. There will be winners and losers as in every generation. It would be interesting to check back in a few years and see how each is doing. Flights are cheap; maybe we’re missing something.

  • Debby Dingle’s Jingles
    March 19, 2020 at 12:57 pm

    Holy fuck Shelby is the oldest looking 21 year old I’ve ever seen! If she looks this rough now what will she look like at 25? 30? Woof! Get that girl a good serum and night cream!

  • Long Dong Silver
    March 19, 2020 at 12:56 pm

    I look at Shelby and all I can think of is interracial porn.

  • I wouldn’t
    March 19, 2020 at 12:36 pm

    She is gross

  • Seed bag
    March 19, 2020 at 12:35 pm

    Jesus, that face, the pitbull is better looking

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