One thing I kind of can’t stand about running Turtleboy is when ratchets try to feel better about themselves by sending us story tips about other ratchets so that they can feel less ratchet themselves. It happens a lot. Like last week when we published this blog about the latest shenanigans from Amber Carmark, AKA the Weymouth Wenchestain, who was arrested after beating her boyfriend with the phone she was using to film him going down on her.
Granted, she’s entertaining as hell. But the chick who ratted her out to us hardly seems better. Meet Krissy Stuart.
I thought it was a little strange when she was able to refer Amber to a foot fetish party she could go to, and apparently she was using Turtleboy for revenge because Amber was gonna report her for being a phone sex operator.
Perfectly normal conflict between friends.
A year ago today she was featured in the Daily Mail for overcoming bullying to be a successful Internet entrepreneur. (trigger warning, don’t say I didn’t warn you)
I think we all know whose gonna win the Fupa Tuesday primary this year. This explains her job title of “Tumblr.”
Her porfolio is both stunning and brave. (Trigger warning, don’t say I didn’t warn you)
But it’s OK because she’s “body positive.”
This is what happens in a society where we can’t tell people that they’re dangerously obese because it might hurt their feelings. There is absolutely nothing positive about the fact that my crotch fruit could play hide and go seek in your fupa folds and never be seen again. I know, I know, Sports Illustrated told you that being “plus sized” is OK as long as you’re happy with who you are. But the fact of the matter is that you’re a circus freak and you’re gonna die way before most people reading this blog. And there’s nothing positive about that.
Oh, and she also says she’s not free because she’s not white.
Bitch, you get paid by freaky men with weird fetishes to eat Ring Dings and lick toes on your webcam. It doesn’t get much freer than that. And you’re certainly no better than Amber Carmark or any other ratchet featured on Turtleboy.
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63 Comment(s)
Jabba the slut.
A classic example of the Welfare system at work. We go to work support this pig. What the fuck?
female Hutt of the Hutt Clan
What the actual f**k!
I wonder how many calories this disgusting fat pig takes in daily to maintain that massive blubbery rotunda. It would be cool to watch her have a heart attack.
Man the harpoons, WHALE ahead!!
How dare you!?
I can’t wait to give this woman free health insurance.
You already are
Correctamundo
One day I saw her at the beech. A bunch of people were hosing her down and trying to roll her back in.
If TB content ever needed censoring, those photos are it. Can’t unsee them. Multiple warnings in big bold letters and click to see covers are needed. I can’t sleep, not remember anything in the article after seeing those photos which went on and on. One was more than enough!
Good point, but I still think the Didi Delgado leathery tea-saucer nipple is worse.
Kill all fat people
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Jaysus, what kind of Suomi-speaking European would pay to see her humongous webbed hooves? this new acceptance, and glorification, of gluttonous sloth, is leading to an American military hard-pressed to find fit humans. another SJ victory for our allies in the middle east.
Uncle, please post an ‘avert your eyes’ warning before such horrific imagery.
Hoof-a – ba – boof – fa
That’s a hard pass!
I wonder how many people actually pay her for her “services”…
How do people this fucking fat wipe their ass? Can you imagine all the dingles you’d see if she spread those mudflaps?!
Gross. But accurate.
If she lifted the FIRST roll on her gut, the neighbors missing cat would probably fall out! Ya having confidence and being comfortable in your skin is a beautiful thing. But that is not the case here. This is gross. Really gross
HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I’d like to see her in a sequined thong wearing a tam o’ shanter doing the highland fling
Would
Wood
Weaulldx
Wud
Man has to drink after all
Bit behind on her landscaping and shrubbery. She needs a friend with a weed wacker
Someone call a shrubber?
TB running a story about bestiality porn
This is why we need socialism. This poor woman is forced to earn dollars in degrading ways simply to avoid starving. In my socialist (communist) system, comrade Stuart would be allowed to apply her mind to loftier and more productive occupations without worrying about where her next meal would come from.
So you’re saying she put the “rat” in “ratchet”???
$900/hour to eat pizza in your skivvies?? Shit, I’ve been doing that for free since 1970. Reparations!
My fucking eyes!! There should be some kind of visual warning!! I cant un-see that now!
Bold, Brave and Beautiful!
This comment section is so sad. You’re legit just shaming other people based on their looks. It’s clearly nobody’s business and this is just click bait. I’m sure half of you sitting there aren’t exactly gems yourselves. Nobody’s perfect, childhood trauma is real. People can change so keep your opinions to yourselves. One love and peace my friends.
This fat broad is NOT trying to improve herself. She’s trying to weigh AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE and make money off it. No pity here. No empathy either. She’s not a victim. She’s a slob
How dare you. I have the boyish good looks and lithe build of a young Mark Hamill.
Get ready to start hacking those toes off one by one. No more foot porn for you!
This woman may be smarter than all of us. The government is now recommending that everyone have six months of food stockpiled, in case this virus pandemic gets really bad. This woman has done that, and even better, has insured that no one can steal her stockpiled food. Some say shelves everywhere will soon be bare and starvation will be commonplace. This woman may be the last human to survive. She had the foresight to be prepared. A lesson for all.
Her mattress must smell like week old Tripe.
A Hippopotamus Fudge Dragon is nothing nice.
How Dare You!
Holy shit can we force gastric bypass on this lard ass?
My son is a violent felon who assaulted his ex girlfriend.
She dumped him.
What a lovely young lady. And so well rounded. Nothing a woman who knows her value. Be strong ladies and soon you will dominate the Supreme Court. Then you can force men to pay for having their eyes melted. LOve to hear Lieawatha chime in on this mountain of putrid flesh.
She’s gorgeous!
Even if she went on one of those ‘Fad Diets’ where they promise you can lose up to 40lbs in
60 days,…. that would be like throwing a Suitcase off the Titanic!
This is the white version of Didi Del-gut-o
Now thats a Cow!
Our Thoughts and Prayers are with her Welded Steel Reinforced Bed Frame.
Her cankles have cankles.
Holt $£i+! Her breasts and her fupa combine to make it look like a blindfolded frog.
MY EYES!!!! The goggles do nothing!!
Classic! Legitimately laughed heartily. Too bad we can’t apply accents to these posts.
Would
DUDE! What the mother fuck is with including those pictures?!?
I was just recovering form the eye cancer I developed after watching BristolCrew’s assholish YouTube video, and you just made it come roaring back with a vengeance by posting these horribly nightmarish images. Her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a Milk Dud. Awful!
Where is your sense of humanity, man? At the very least, you should be ponying up for the cost of eye bleach.
From*
Does Sea World know it escaped their tank? I seriously thought these were whale watching photos.
She’s so fat she wore high heels and struck oil.
I’ve seen golf balls with less dimples than it’s ass.
I never thought it’d be possible to have two fupas.
I knew a guy who almost had sex with her. He ran out of gas trying to drive around to the back of her to slap her ass.
Her ass is so fat it looks like two walruses fighting over a milk dud.
Her blood type is gravy.
LOL! Nice. You had walruses, and I had pigs. Funny stuff!
She sweats Crisco
Kinda cruel, towards someone who quite clearly has emotional/mental issues.
Yeah, let’s all get together and shame this woman….it’ll make all of us feel better, right?
Fuck all of you. This woman needs help, not shaming.
Please pass on to TB as I do not know how to reach them
Honestly it took me a while to figure out that she had 2 stomaches. She obviously has had an awful child hood and instead of shooting heroin or other drugs she eats to hide the pain. Very sad. I mean she hasn’t wiped her own ass in a long time like what does she do? Get a towel and slide it back and forth to clean her ass. That’s just sad.
She twerks up against a tree
TB, save this blog for your kids when they get older…
To quote Al Bundy: You have to have lunch first before you lose it