Sports

Glorious Drunken Atlanta Falcons Fan Twerking All Over Carolina Panthers Fan In Epic Display Of Debauchery

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On Sunday the Atlanta Falcons took a steamy, dirty south dump on themselves when they were facialized by the Carolina Panthers. Somehow all this 6-9 team had to do to get into the playoffs was win a home game against a losing team. Apparently that was too much to ask for. Not only did the Falcons embarass themselves, but so did this Falcons fan, who took out her anger and drunkedness on the Panthers fan in front of her with some strong words and some stronger Falcons fan twerking:

Hasn’t Bufgate taught us anything? Because there were two lessons I took out of that fiasco back in September, 1) anyone who holds a camera vertically while videotaping should be buried alive, and 2) don’t act like a savage in public because someone is always taping you. Some people dress as their favorite player. This muff dressed up as Ed Hochuli. There’s just so much to dislike about everyone involved in this. First you have this meathead boyfriend:

Atlanta Falcons fan twerkingThat is the face of a man who almost definitely has a confederate flag decal on his pick up truck. He went to this game to drink some beer and kick some ass and he’s almost out of beer. Also he might watch the game if there’s enough time. 

Then there’s the Carolina Panthers fan:

Atlanta Falcons fan twerking

This guy probably deserved to get his ass kicked simply because he got a custom-made jersey with his name on it. Nothing says “dooshnozzle” like a guy who gets their own name on the back of their favorite team’s jersey. It’s like they’re trying to relive the days that never happened. Guaranteed this guy plays flag football on the weekends and spends minimum $120 on cleats as if the outcome of the game matters.

Then there’s this genius:

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The grand judo champion here would probably be a lot less annoying if she didn’t have such a white trash Georgia accent. Oh yea, and word to the wise for people who talk trash at football games – make sure your team is winning. Like, when your team is getting emasculated at home in a win-and-in game for the crap-happiest conference in NFL history, don’t start calling out other team’s fans and telling them that Falcons will eat Panthers:

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First of all, that’s not even accurate. Falcons and Panthers aren’t even in the same food chain. Secondly, I’m 99% sure she dropped an “n” bomb at the 1:43 mark. Luckily for her the African-American lady in front of her seemed to think it was more hilarious than offensive:

Atlanta Falcons fan twerking

After she was done berating this idiot in the Panthers jersey

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she realized that she wasn’t intimidating him as she planned. Time to revert to plan B – twerking:

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The difference between her and a Bills babe is that she didn’t call the guy a “faggot.” Other than that Atlanta is the Buffalo of the south. They had their hay-day 150 years ago back when labor was magically free, but it’s basically all down hill from there. And the football team sucks. Atlanta deserves this woman and she deserves Atlanta.

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2 Comment(s)
  • timbo60
    January 3, 2015 at 9:28 am

    Keep your shirt on!

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    December 31, 2014 at 11:37 am

    I wonder how much peroxide it takes to maintain that Kelly Bundy bleached blonde look.

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