Hoodrat Heroes

Good Grief! Springfield’s Own Charlie Brown Shoots Up The Hood And The Rest Of The Free My Boi Peanuts Gang Shows Up To Support Him On Springfield PD Facebook Page

Good Grief! Springfield’s Own Charlie Brown Shoots Up The Hood And The Rest Of The Free My Boi Peanuts Gang Shows Up To Support Him On Springfield PD Facebook Page

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Ain’t nothing better than a good Springfield shooting to start up the holiday weekend. Fortunately, there’s never a shortage of filthy sewer rats running the skreets of Stinkfield. Here we have 19 year old babybandit Charles Brown: Thug, criminal, baby momma beater and proud father.

I’m not sure what the problem is. He looks like an upstanding, contributing member of society to me.

Just kidding. If these pictures don’t yell, “I’m a gang banging piece of shit thug with no plans on being anything other than a criminal for the rest of my life,” I don’t know what does. I’m guessing they are either all fluent in American Sign Language or that those are signs for the “Burr Street” gang, a subsidized Mickey Mouse gang made up of neighborhood kids in the Bay Street area – they’re super powerful and scary.

I remember when I was a kid there were Bloods, Crips and Latin Kings. Now all it takes is a bunch of neighborhood friends coupled with some shitty parenting and BOOM the “Whateverthefuck Street Gang” is born. The prerequisites of membership? Have at least one parent in prison, a GED and a rap sheet as long as your list of baby mommas.  

Anyways, while Chuckie was out playing with his guns again this weekend, he emptied a round of bullets in his own neighborhood. Neighbors called the police, he ran, hid under a parked car, and then got caught because even though he’s an expert, he’s a shitty criminal. But hey, it’s cool according to his famz, cuz ya’ll don’t know how it’s like living in the tough blocks of Springfield.

Sounds like Nicole Nikki is the only one that has a little sense around here. I guess it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that gun emojis and “bang bang” sounds aren’t the smartest way to share a police post on social media. Either way, with Shonney’s kind of logic, I feel like we’ll be writing stories about him bang banging around Springfield very soon.

Doingitnani obviously-your-real-name Johnson, every time I see someone making fun of others’ physical appearances on Facebook, I assume you are a supermodel or at the very least keen enough to not post pictures of yourself for others to rip apart. Unfortunately for my bleeding eyes, she isn’t either.

Something tells me she stuffs extra biscuits and gravy in her pocketbook when she’s at the Golden Corral for her mother’s day brunch, but I could be wrong.

Yes, of course. Because if you don’t grow up in a rich, white family then it’s fair game in these streets, right? Looks like he’s struggling with his brand new iPhone, his stacks of cash and what I can only assume to be a secondary drug phone. If it weren’t for the flat brim hat, I might think he paid for all of this with money he earned at an actual job.   

Gram almost made sense here, ALMOST. He started off on the right track but then his hoodrat mentality took over and he 180’d back to the ol’ “you don’t know the situation” hogwash that we hear from every single guttermuppet. It’s getting so old. I wish one of them would finally give us a comprehensive list of all instances where it’s okay to possess an illegal weapon, shoot several rounds in the vicinity of innocent bystanders and break probation. Hey, we all got our reasons, right?

And would you look at that… Gram’s an aspiring rapper from the 413. Those are hard to come by. So while, Poop D O Double G is busy justifying Charlie Brown, others are straight to the race baiting.

Because anyone applauding a 19 year old career criminal that has been nothing but a steaming pile of dog shit since early childhood and goes to jail for randomly shooting illegal guns in his own neighborhood is clearly a racist.

What none of these inbred fucklords ever mention is that Chuckie is no stranger to violence and savagery. Not even 4 months ago he was arrested and charged with assault to murder with a firearm, possession of a firearm in a felony, possession of a firearm without a permit, resisting arrest, strangulation, larceny over $250, receiving stolen property and possession of a large capacity firearm for attempting to kill his baby momma, Brooklyn Sykes. Brooklyn, who would rather spend her life getting beat up by this cockgobbler than raise her little girl to be a respectable and decent human, has been the biggest defender of all.  

‘Cuz nothing says love like a 9-mm handgun to the head.

 

 

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16 Comment(s)
  • KimberlyS
    KJDS
    June 1, 2017 at 3:01 pm

    “The prerequisites of membership? Have at least one parent in prison, a GED and a rap sheet as long as your list of baby mommas. ”

    I don’t really think the GED is necessary. In fact, it might be a hindrance.

  • Publius
    May 31, 2017 at 4:43 pm

    Hood rats are absolutely the worst. The best is when the boyz shoot each other and one ends up in a wheelchair and the other shitting in a bag the rest of his life. These rats do not earn nor deserve respect.

    • UsualSuspect
      UsualSuspect
      June 1, 2017 at 9:37 pm

      It is best when one dies and the other gets put away for life without parole, eliminates two birds.

  • Chip Striker
    May 31, 2017 at 10:43 am

    Was arrested 4 months ago for attempted murder and other crimes and he’s already out? ?

    Then he does this? Animal doesn’t get it. Euthanize him.

  • E.Warren
    May 31, 2017 at 8:28 am

    End the Massachusetts EBT scam and all these donkeys go away.
    Where would they go?
    They will run back to the welfare hellholes their welfare families crawled out of; Detroit, Bronx, Hartford, providence, PR, you name it. They will all go back to

  • whatevuh
    Dick Hertz from Holden
    May 31, 2017 at 6:18 am

    How fucking retarded do you have to be, to post that stuff ON THE POLICE DEPT. WEBSITE ? These ratchets really are ignorant sub-humans. My suggestion is M.O.A.B rid the world of this useless scum

  • No, You're A Racist
    May 31, 2017 at 5:56 am

    Thugs. Springfield needs to institute either a ThunderDome or Death Race type activity for these scumbags so they can take each other out and leave Springfield to the people who are actually productive and care about their city and those who reside in it.

  • Independent Thinker
    May 31, 2017 at 5:28 am

    Gotta love those hand signals in all the photos.

  • Alex C
    May 30, 2017 at 10:25 pm

    Oooh oooh! Facebook screenshots!

    Turtleboy needs Facebook. Unfortunately, Facebook doesn’t need Turtleboy.

    This blog is such junk!

    • mystressovmayhem
      May 30, 2017 at 10:56 pm

      “This blog is such junk.” Yet you’re on here sweating it’s balls. Seems legit..,

      • Go away alexa
        May 30, 2017 at 11:31 pm

        Right?! Alex is fucking everywhere on this shit… dude get a hobby.

    • Tim Leydon
      May 31, 2017 at 1:58 am

      How many different names can Dan Margolis use in 24 hours?

      • KimberlyS
        KJDS
        June 1, 2017 at 2:59 pm

        12

    • Mongo Shepard
      May 31, 2017 at 2:45 am

      Turtleboy owns an entire housing project inside your head.

  • whatevuh
    WHATEVUH
    May 30, 2017 at 10:03 pm

    Please honey, pull the trigger

    • No Fathers In Sight
      May 30, 2017 at 11:50 pm

      The only time I feel bad when people in Springfield are shot it’s when its
      innocent bystanders, which is rare. We should be glad these people take
      one another out so often. Thin the herd. Darwinism is a great thing.

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