Grandma Fupa Defends Cart Full Of Groceries At Providence Price Rite From Rabid  Manny Ratchio’s And Price Rite Employee

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Some grocery stores are more ratchet than others. At the top of the food chain you have your Whole Foods, your Trader Joe’s, and your Wegman’s. This is usually followed by Market Basket, Big Y, Stop & Shop, Shaw’s, Price Chopper, Walmart, and finally the most ratchet of them all – Price Rite. I’ve never been in a Price Rite, nor will I ever step foot in a Price Rite. Unless of course I’m looking to do a documentary on pajama clad sewer goblins in their natural environment. Which is exactly what transpired in the Providence Price Rite yesterday:

“Make sure you tag me in this.” #Priorities

Question – can we get to the point where it just becomes routine for someone to yell “Turtleboy” when they see a ratchet rowdy down like this? It’s so much more regional and small business oriented then yelling World Star. Think of the little guy. I’m just dying to see a fight video like this and all of a sudden the cameraman turns the phone at themselves and yells “Turtleboy” before going back to filming. That’s my dream.

All I wanna know is, who stole whose food stamps? Because I’ve read the thousands of comments on this post and still have no idea what started this whole thing. The only logical conclusion I can reach is that someone’s card was out of points already, and she held up the line arguing about it. It just proves once again that no matter how low you drop the prices, ratchets will still be beefin. That’s just science.

Let’s go to the play by play……

It starts with the biggest no-no you can ever pull in a Price Rite – one EBT Rex starts pulling the other ratchet’s chain:

You don’t snatch someone’s chain. And if you do, you finna cash deez handz. Feel me?

But Gradma don’t play that, and she defended her territory to the best of her ability, against the younger and more aggressive female:

Security was about as useful as a condom in Great Brook Valley. Although in their defense, when you see something like this going down you kind of just have to let it play its course. Do NOT come between two swamp donkeys engaging in gland to glad combat at the Price Rite. It’s a great way to become collateral damage.

Soon the Price Rite employee came over to try to pull these gravy dumpsters apart:

But it didn’t go as planned and the next thing you know Grandma Fupa was getting hit from behind by Kwanzaa Rousey:

Nevetheless Grandma would not be deterred. She reached for a bottle of soy sauce, which she naturally was planning on using as a weapon, and the fupa was everywhere…….

At this point the security guard decided it wasn’t worth it and decided to get the fuck out of there. But not the Price Rite employee, who ended up getting hit by Granda Fupa’s magical bottle of soy sauce:

Don’t let the apron fool you though. Manny Ratchio don’t play:

After the dust settled it was clear that Grandma Fupa had successfully defended her territory from the three pronged attack of the EBT Rex, Kwanzaa Rousey, and Manny Ratchio. And she stood over her bounty and pointed to the door so that the would be usurpers to the Price Rite throne knew exactly which way to go.

Legend.

Turns out Grandma Fupa goes by LeeLee:

Age ain’t nothing but a number!! And from the looks of her she appears to be one of the oldest women in Providence, which would make that number approximately 42. But don’t get it twisted – that’s like 88 in Providence years.

The employee only jumped in because her mother was the EBT Rex:

I hate when that happens. Back when I had a minimum wage job Grandma Turtleboy always used to come into work and exchange fisticuffs with anyone who looked at her the wrong way. We’ve all been there before. #MeToo

From the commentary it would appear that this beef is not quite settled yet:

Not sure what 90% of that means, but it sounds important.

And of course the first thing you see when you go to the videographers page is….

The hat.

Anyway, all this does is once again prove that Providence is the most underrated dump in New England. It has this reputation as a model city because you drive through down town and it looks nice and there’s water fires and Dave and Busters and blah, blah, blah. But the fact of the matter is that it’s nothing more than a ratchet nest World Star Turtleboy breeding ground.