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Breaking news – Roger Goodell’s NFL has reduced the suspension for the Dallas Cowboys’ Greg Hardy from 10 games to 4, for beating the shit out of his former girlfriend. He now must sit out the same amount of games as Tom Brady. Just a reminder that Brady’s crime was that he had a “general awareness” that he was playing with footballs that had slightly less than 12.5 PSI, in a game in which his team won 45-7. Savage!!! Quite frankly he probably should’ve had to sit out the whole season. After all, what he did was much worse than Greg Hardy. Here’s what he did:
“On May 13, 2014, Greg Hardy attacked me in his apartment. Hardy picked me up and threw me into the tile tub area in his bathroom. I have bruises from head to toe, including my head, neck, back, shoulders arms, legs, elbow and feet. Hardy pulled me from the tub by my hair, screaming at me that he was going to kill me, break my arms and other threats that I completely believe. He dragged me across the bathroom and out into the bedroom. Hardy choked me with both hands around my throat while I was lying on the floor. Hardy picked me up over his head and threw me onto a couch covered in assault rifles and/or shotguns. I landed on those weapons. Hardy bragged that all of those assault rifles were loaded. Landing on those weapons bruised [my] neck and back. Greg screamed for his “administrative assistant” (Sammy Curtis) to come into the room and hold me down. Curtis came into the room, grabbed me from behind and held me down. Hardy and Curtis then took me into the living room area. I wasn’t nearly strong or fast enough to escape. I begged them to let me go & I wouldn’t tell anyone what he did. They took me out into the hall, pushed me down & went back inside his apartment. I crawled to the elevator and ran into CMPD”. (Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department)
Big fucking deal. So he tossed her into a bathtub, dragged her around the house by her hair, threw her on his cache of guns, and bloodied the shit out of her. Shit happens when you get lippy with Greg Hardy. But at least he didn’t send a text message to the ballboy about PSI!!!
LOL. In all seriousness, this is good news for Patriots fans right? I mean, there’s no possible way they can keep Brady’s suspension and keep a straight face. How can they? You read what Greg Hardy did. It would be PR suicide to even suspend Brady for a single game now. Even Bob Kravtiz has to admit that this one’s not gonna stick. Sorry Jimmy Garoppolo, you’re gonna have to wait a couple years because there is a 150% chance Brady will be facializing the Steelers at home on Super Bowl banner night.
I guess this means we’re going back to Buffalo for week 2!! Fuck you Buffalo!!!
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5 Comment(s)
A typical Jet’s response would be: “But Hardy didn’t influence the game. He just beat up his girlfriend who was a bitch anyway, while Brady sold his soul to the devil by playing with a softer ball. So make the pretty boy miss the season then ban him for life like Pete Rose.” Well go fuck yourselves Jets fans, go fuck yourself Revis you greedy money hungry man -whore, and go fuck yourself New Jersey.
Thankfully Brady is privileged, and Goodell will just pat him on the head and send him back to the field.
Roger Goodell dated Lisa Dyer in high school. Most people don’t know that.
And had a threesome with Tracy novick
I just barfed a little. And by a little, I mean “filled a trashcan.”