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I don’t have a Harvard degree, nor do I want to show you my resume or tell you about my wife and kids. Who GAF! What I want to do is talk about HIPPIES! lol YUP I have an update on the displaced hippies that decided maybe police lives do matter and stopped protesting in the street. Either that or they realized that they pissed off everyone else in the world.
It seems as if the displaced, causeless hippies have gone absofuckinglutley nuts! They are in panic mode and are so dumbfounded by the Turtleboy and society calling them out for their dooshbaggery, that they have resorted to protesting the only people that will put up with it… THEMSELVES!
This past weekend in Hadley, Mass (out there in the 413) a massive group of 8.5 people (if you count the middle-schooler) took up their signs, blindfolds (not sure what the blindfolds were for) and bullhorns to confront the evil organic egg buyers of Whole Paycheck (aka Whole Foods). They left the intersections and streets and recruited children to protest the atrocities that lay in your dairy case.
The best part is that they chose Whole Paycheck. I always thought that that place was like the hippie mecca. So there they stood, blocking the eggs, blindfolded and holding pictures of cows and pigs.
What dooshbaggery! What about the starving people that need an omelette? I guess they needed a cause of their own. Who knows, Maybe PETA has an exclusive on the meat cases. In the end, even the egg and meat loving granola eaters said fah que hippies!
And, as the store security walked them out (I imagine they asked the guy with the longest dreads that stocks the salad bar to handle it, as he is the scariest non-deodorant wearing person in the place) they were heckled by a gaggle of a rare breed of hippie – the Carniverous Hippius Maximus. The CHMs chanted “We love bacon! We love meat!” I have to say, this gave me a bit of a stir in my britches. You can’t make this stuff up! Pro-meat hippies – who would have thought?
After a successful march on oppressed eggs, they made their way across the street to a couple of local route 9 restaurants – Chili’s and Applebees. Once they arrived at the egg and dairy abusing restaurants, they proceeded to scare children that were just trying to have a damn southwestern egg roll! Once the hippies realized that there actually were no eggs on the egg rolls, they left … heading for Chipotle. Upon arrival, they were thanked and sent home by happy hens that were ecstatic about their role filling fajitas rather than being in a Mexican cock fighting ring.
Courtesy of Gazette.net
Well, that and the cops called in a 1 person swat team to handle the 14-year old protester that someone brought in tow. She was unruly and armed with a sign letting everyone know she will not forget … WAIT …What is she not going to forget? Maybe the egg McMuffin she released into the wild, saving it from an evil egg eater? But, I’m sure she wasn’t alive for 9-11, even though she waves that banner. Her parents should be covered in egg yolks and have raw bacon slapped off their asses. Let that child play with her friends, take Molly, rave and beat up teachers like the rest of the kids her age.. WTF.
So, in closing, I say … Next time you are at the store buying eggs… buy 2 dozen so you have some to throw at hippies!
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10 Comment(s)
SAVE THE CHICKENS!!!!! BOYCOTT EGGS!!!!!!
SAVE THE COWS!!!!!!!! BOYCOTT MILK!!!!!!
SAVE THE BRIES!!!!!!! BOYCOTT CHEESE!!!!!!
Errrrrrrr, what?
I echo RSoxGuy. Why the fuck doesn’t that happen where I shop?
So we’re gonna just make this into a conservative political blog now, is that what we’re doing? Poo-poo, I was looking forward to hot Olympic takes in 9 years.
Do you know how unbalanced most people are when they are blindfolded? A small push usually sends them reeling! This kinda garbage never happens where I shop, then again i dont shop at uppity, over priced “Whole Foods” stores.
“I have an update on the displaced hippies that decided maybe police lives do matter and stopped protesting in the street. Either that or they realized that they pissed off everyone else in the world. ”
No, they still could care less about the lives of cops or if they pissed off the normal hardworking people going about their business. It started to snow and get really cold so they decided to stay in, crank the heat, and collect more oil assistance from the people who they block with their juvenile antics. An upside to cities, towns, businesses, and homeowners not clearing snow from roads and sidewalks. Winter weather and rain is like hippie antidote.
This guy blows that wasn’t even remotely entertaining and there was nothing said in this article that couldn’t be found on a T shirt at hot topic.
Fucking vegetarian hippie douchebags. Mind you, I have no issue with vegetarians whatsoever, have at it, but don’t shove your decision down my throat. This article made me hungry enough to cook up a 3 egg omelet with sausage, cheese and a side of smoked salmon. Hmmm, maybe a big juicy steak for lunch with a side of live boiled lobster.
Proud member of PETA = People Eating Tasty Animals
Don’t forget the veal.
These kind of protesters along with the highway/intersection blocking morons of the last few months are exactly the reason why any future protests, demonstrations and movements of consequence will be scoffed at, ignored and ridiculed. Thanks to Hadley’s local amateurs for jumping on the hog pile of the American Privilege Protests.
Note – It would have made a lot more sense to target a market that at least sold Purdue or Tyson products, but Shaw’s is a lot scarier than Whole Foods I guess. Not that the tactic would have been effective either way…
Like that will stop anybody?
Just push them aside and help yourself to all the eggs you want.
Not like they can see you coming or anything. Stealth.