So a group of well intentioned suburban Pop Warner moms thought it would be wise to have their 7 year old kids run through a vinyl banner before their big match. It did not go as planned:
Aright, I realize that these kids are only seven years old, but nevertheless, what the hell is wrong with these kids? Are they lemmings? Did they not see what happened to the first three kids who came through?
I don’t care how old you are. Human instinct tells you that when three people your size run directly into an object and get knocked to the ground like a rag doll, you don’t do what they do. Or maybe a better question is, what the hell is wrong with the moms? Ummm, you are literally close lining your children. Perhaps you should LET GO? Just a thought. But nope, FSR they couldn’t figure that one out on the fly. Instead, they just seemed to hold on tighter for the next batch of geniuses to try to make it through.
It didn’t matter how many kids ran right into that thing, the mom in blue was NOT letting go:
It came to the point where she was almost being dragged down by the force of a dozen seven year olds:
And even after the damage was done the kids just kept on coming. The ones who could survive in the wild for 24 hours decided it was time to stop the charge. But where do these two kids at the 20 yard mark think they’re going?
They literally ran directly into the pile. At this point these kids were just saying, “fuck it, dog pile!!” These kids are gonna make great meatheads one day.
And here’s a thought – why not make a banner out of, I dunno – PAPER!!!??? Vinyl? Really? These kids weigh fifty pounds on Jupiter and they don’t know how to chew with their mouths closed. You thought they could break through vinyl??? I have a hard enough opening a bag of Cheetos on my own.
Oh yea, and the real star of the show were the cheerleaders, particularly this one girl in the bottom right who was loving EVERY minute of this spectacle:
While the rest of the cheerleaders remained disciplined, she realized how awesome the chaos unfolding in front of her cheertastic eyes was. While the rest of the cheerleaders acted too mature for it all, she was having the time of her life, and she was delightful. She even got one of her friends to join in:
So yea, I’m assuming these kids would get their asses kicked by thee Worcester Vikings. Worst pass rush I’ve ever seen.
Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.