This is Sarah Jane Todd from Kansas City, KS.

Last week she posted on Facebook that her ma dukes caught the commie cold so she started a Facebook fundraiser for it of course. It didn’t really take off so she wrote a whiny post complaining that no one was sharing it, and it ended up getting shared over 622,000 times and counting!!

As you can see from her edit history, she had to keep updating it when it wasn’t getting enough attention.

According to Sarah she can’t care for her mother, who is in GREAT shape, because Sarah’s currenly homeless due to “personal struggles.” She says there’s been a commie cold outbreak in ma dukes’ nursing home and she wants to get her transferred to KU (probably Kansas University). She claims to have had a “conservation” with the ER supervisor there, and since Mom might die she wants to bring her home to die with her. Except she’s got no home because she’s homeless and Sarah doesn’t have life insurance (which is completely irrelevant since Sarah isn’t the one allegedly dying). The money will go towards housing for Sarah, a bed, and her mother’s funeral if she dies.

And if there’s any money left over they will invest in a fork lift so Mom can see the neighborhood before she croaks.

I don’t even know where to start with the obvious red flags on this one. Let’s start with the fact that the nursing home isn’t gonna let her Mom leave to go to the hospital, which would never happen. Or the fact that this homeless woman is allegedly in contact with the ER supervisor at a hospital who told her that the only way Momma Shamu could get healthcare is if she raises enough money to get an apartment. Or we could talk about the fact that she’s homeless in the first place which probably wasn’t an accident. You have to try to become homeless in this country.

Yet somehow this obviously bullshit story has gotten her nearly $4K.

Of course a quick search for Sarah Jane Todd reveals that she’s got some major Google trophies.

As a matter of fact she’s currently out on $850 bond from a recent arrest.

She really milked it for all it was worth though.

I’d say I feel sorry for the idiots who donated, but I don’t. Anyone dumb enough to part with their money that easily wasn’t meant to have that money in the first place. She’s homeless, telling a story that clearly makes no sense, and begging people to share it. If you can’t tell that’s a scam then you have no business being on the Interwebz.

I’m not a licensed Facebook detective or anything, but it would also appear that she lied about firing out a crotch fruit from the ol’ baby cannon in February.

She hasn’t posted about the baby once since (she has an older poon polyp who I’m sure she spends a lot of quality time with in the DCF visitor’s room), and none of her friends knew she was pregnant.

Sounds legit.

I can’t tell if Momma Shamuumuu is in on the scam, but she gets tagged in everything and comments on most of her previous posts.

The fundraiser was also randomly being put on by another skagbeast named Crystal Carlson.

She also seems to be totally trustworthy.

Now that she’s been revealed as a scam artist it looks like the two of them have to figure out a story.

The bottom line is I have absolutely no sympathy for anyone who gave money to this junkie slopqueef. This is why everyone should read Turtleboy. There isn’t a turtle rider out there who couldn’t tell this was a scam from the moment they laid eyes on it.

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