Hoodrat Heroes

I Hate These Worcester Panhandlers For Being Better Dressed And Better Looking Than I Am

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Saw a friend share a picture of these Worcester panhandlers today and we had to say something:

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Let’s just ignore the fact that we have here two able bodied, young adults who are whining about having no income and trying to guilty you into giving them your hard earned money. Let’s ignore that the hundreds of idiots who give the wastes of space money should be EXECUTED (and I mean EXECUTED) in the DCU Center to a sold out crowd. Let’s ignore the fact that that this is all Tracy Novick’s fault.

Instead, lets focus on the fact that panhandlers don’t even look like panhandlers anymore because it’s obviously become such a profitable enterprise. First of all, I don’t own a backpack this nice:

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Look at all those compartments. It wasn’t purchased in 1996, which means, it’s newer than the only backpack I own. And how bout that hat? That’s a cool fucking hat. Hats like that are for taxpayers. It’s warm, loud, hilarious, and clearly somewhat new. This girl just went on a fucking shopping spree and now she’s begging for money in Lincoln Square.

And panhandlers are supposed to wear Shaw’s brand sneakers. These look nicer than any sneakers ANYONE in the Turtleboy household owns:

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And her jeans aren’t ripped or covered in mustard stains, which is more than I can say for either of the two pairs of jeans I’ve purchased in the last 12 years.

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And how bout the dude? Check out his lower half:

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Are those work boots? Dude, work boots are for working. This offends me as a literalist. Those are still as fresh as the day he bought them. Turtleboy dreams of someday owning a fresh pair of Timberlands, but unfortunately I’m stuck paying for all things Turtleboy Jr. until the day he inherits this blog. I HATE the fact that this guy is so well dressed, even if he still dresses like every cool kid from 1999.

Oh yea, and he’s also much more attractive than I am:

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Dude, you look like Ethan Hawke and your wardrobe puts Turtleboy to shame. Get a job and stop being such a dooshnozzle. If you can’t make in America with those kind of prerequisite skills then you don’t deserve to live in America. Panhandling is for people who lost their marbles in NAM or burnt every bridge they ever had by stealing their mother’s credit cards to feed their habits. You’re just a normal looking guy trying to capitalize on Tracy Novick’s idiocy. Fuck you panhandler.

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41 Comment(s)
  • Doc
    January 29, 2016 at 5:53 pm

    Test post. Wouldn’t let Seeing if actual server error.

    I feel the need to share this. I lived anecdotal evidence. I typically travel with cans of Progresso and Chef Boy R Dee because I never know when I might not get a chance to eat from being stuck at work, and it’s an easy way to save money during rent week by eating the stuff in the backpack that’s already paid for. Street corner/median panhandlers turn a can or two down at about a 60 per cent rate. They usually say “No thank you,” and move on with their day without giving me a hassle. During my most recent 2 year run as a Worcester shopkeep, I used to have to tell panhandlers to move away from our property by company policy, and I would explain in a stern but friendly way that I couldn’t stand having my customers feel uncomfortable. I would often get resistance, them saying “I’m just trying to get something to eat! I haven’t had anything to eat in X amount of hours or day…” At that point I would offer them to come inside for a minute and find them something to eat. I made that offer about 30 times over 2 years. Most of them shuffled on, a few told me off. One guy out of 30 or so came inside for a minute. I first offered him some cupcakes. He said “What, are you trying to kill me man? I’m diabetic.” I then offered Spaghettios or something from a can, and he said to me “What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? Does it look like I’m walking around with a microwave?” Before I could reply “Use ours…” , this black man said to white Doc “You made your point, racist motherfucker, I won’t make problems no more.” Not shaming, just sharing truth. Very low hit rate on food-related kindness. Panhandlers want money. They might not all be dope fiends or be headed right to get booze, but they could care less about my food offers. Cash is king.

  • Doc
    January 29, 2016 at 5:40 pm

    I feel the need to share this. I lived anecdotal evidence. I typically travel with cans of Progresso and Chef Boy R Dee because I never know when I might not get a chance to eat from being stuck at work, and it’s an easy way to save money during rent week by eating the stuff in the backpack that’s already paid for. Street corner/median panhandlers turn a can or two down at about a 60 per cent rate. They usually say “No thank you,” and move on with their day without giving me a hassle. During my most recent 2 year run as a Worcester shopkeep, I used to have to tell panhandlers to move away from our property by company policy, and I would explain in a stern but friendly way that I couldn’t stand having my customers feel uncomfortable. I would often get resistance, them saying “I’m just trying to get something to eat! I haven’t had anything to eat in X amount of hours or day…” At that point I would offer them to come inside for a minute and find them something to eat. I made that offer about 30 times over 2 years. Most of them shuffled on, a few told me off. One guy out of 30 or so came inside for a minute. I first offered him some cupcakes. He said “What, are you trying to kill me man? I’m diabetic.” I then offered Spaghettios or something from a can, and he said to me “What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? Does it look like I’m walking around with a microwave?” Before I could reply “Use ours…” , this black man said to white Doc “You made your point, racist motherfucker, I won’t make problems no more.” Not shaming, just sharing truth. Very low hit rate on food-related kindness. Panhandlers want money. They might not all be dope fiends or be headed right to get booze, but they could care less about my food offers. Cash is king.

  • Only in the Woo
    January 29, 2016 at 5:30 pm

    I was hit up by not one, but TWO panhandlers in the train station the other day…one at the bottom of the stairway to the train, the other at the top of the steps near the T platform. “Can you spare $5 for a train ticket to Boston? I only have $5 (shows a five dollar bill). Now that there is a new security low-bid company there, the place has panhandlers than the number of tweets Tracy Novick posts a day!

  • juror seven
    January 28, 2016 at 9:25 pm

    Panhandler shaming isn’t cool , is that you Tracy?

  • Why bother
    January 28, 2016 at 8:28 pm

    I’m feeling mad hostile he’s wearing aeropostale wu tang for the children

  • turtlegirl
    January 28, 2016 at 2:36 pm

    I know these two, mike lobo and his girfriend danielle
    they live in spencer and take the bus out every day
    and yes, they do use their money for drugs, the K2 synthetic
    but they also make use of the soup kitechens and food pantries whne possible

  • Rutlander
    January 28, 2016 at 2:16 pm

    I needed somebody to help drag brush while I was clearing some land, stopped and spoke with the will work for food guy at Highland and Park Ave. Offered him $15 an hour, beer and pizza for a days work. He wasn’t interested…..

    • Tatana777
      January 28, 2016 at 2:25 pm

      He was more interested in getting free money for his drug/alcohol habit than actually working for his money which is really sad.

  • Mediocrity
    January 28, 2016 at 2:07 pm

    TO ALL —
    Google “Worcester MA Food Pantries”
    Print out a list.
    Hand this list out to all the panhandlers.
    If it’s food they want, there are TONS of food pantries in the Worcester area.
    Boom — done.

    • thankgodimoved
      January 28, 2016 at 4:01 pm

      Love this idea!

  • Lois
    January 28, 2016 at 1:59 pm

    Theres a girl panhandling on the Lake Quinsig bridge right now wearing a North Face Jacket.. I cant even afford one of those and I work 56 hours a week!

  • Panhandler shaming isn't cool
    January 28, 2016 at 1:20 pm

    Ughhhhh more panhandler shaming? Tired of seeing shaming like this. Take a gander at this! http://thinkprogress.org/economy/2013/10/30/2856411/panhandling-stats/

    94 percent of panhandlers use the money they get to buy FOOD! The way to get panhandling to stop is not to shame panhandlers, but to help them, namely by raising welfare benefits and loosening welfare eligability requirements. Panhandling and homelessness aren’t fun, as many panhandlers are subject to shaming and the “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” mentality!

  • Rutlander
    January 28, 2016 at 11:50 am

    I don’t know about execution, but the people who give the beggars money are the real problem. If you feel like you want to help someone out, please donate to the Veteran’s Shelter, donate to Abby’s house, help out some food banks. I want to see some counter-panhandling. Put these pan handlers in competition with people soliciting for Veterans Inc. I bet we could wipe out these panhandlers through competition.

  • Chris
    January 28, 2016 at 7:22 am

    The other day at a gas station, a panhandler followed me and my girlfriend to my car harassing me for money while wearing a newer and nicer jacket than I own. Sure gave my girlfriend a great first impression of the town.

  • Anna Conda
    January 28, 2016 at 7:16 am

    I saw one yesterday at the corner of Park Avenue and Highland Street..had on a really nice leather jacket.

    • Devin
      January 28, 2016 at 12:27 pm

      The kid who sits on park Ave and highland by price choppers just a drug addict lives at home with mommy and has a meal every night but wants to get high on our dime… Fuck outta here guy. ITS CALLED GET A FUCKING JOB

      • Panhandler shaming isn't cool
        January 28, 2016 at 1:22 pm

        Or raising welfare benefits

        • Mediocrity
          January 28, 2016 at 2:03 pm

          What’s wrong with getting a job, Panhandler??
          What makes you so special?

          • Work isn't for everyone
            January 29, 2016 at 12:24 pm

            Work isn’t for everyone, and a person’s worth should not be based on whether or not they are a “productive member of society”.

        • pbhk
          January 28, 2016 at 2:43 pm

          Are you typing these comments from a Worcester Public Library’s computer while taking a break from panhandling, yourself?

          • Panhandler shaming isn't cool
            January 28, 2016 at 3:54 pm

            I’ve never panhandled, but shaming panhandlers won’t solve homelessness. A better welfare state will.

  • Dgaf
    January 28, 2016 at 5:13 am

    Thats a decent looking bum. He should prostitute like the rest of the worcester scallywags. I never hear of male hookers

    • Panhandler shaming isn't cool
      January 28, 2016 at 1:23 pm

      No, he should be respected

      • Rutlander
        January 28, 2016 at 2:13 pm

        What about an able bodied beggar in timberlands commands respect? If the guy respected himself he would not be begging unless he was starving. We’re not exactly talking widows and orphans here…

    • David Viscetto
      February 14, 2016 at 5:33 pm

      He doe suck dick when he gets a chance

  • Springfield City of Homies
    January 28, 2016 at 3:30 am

    You should see the bums in Amherst by the 91 on/off ramps. I saw one on a cellphone smoking a butt while holding his sign.

  • BobnMic
    January 28, 2016 at 3:27 am

    My entire comment would not post here for some reason on the issue of Panhandlers.

  • BobnMic
    January 28, 2016 at 2:18 am

    I mean – this shit needs to stop. Not only for the reasons stated above but for yet another issue of commercial commerce and development which will be stalled, if not abandoned, when prospective small businesses and larger companies consider seeking Worcester as a base but having the displeasure of viewing able body bums begging for money.

    • Panhandler shaming isn't cool
      January 28, 2016 at 1:27 pm

      No, what needs to stop is the shaming of panhandlers. 94% of them use the money they get to buy FOOD, and maybe if welfare benefits were raised they wouldn’t need to panhandle!

      • Mediocrity
        January 28, 2016 at 2:02 pm

        They buy food??
        What. A. Moron.
        They buy drugs, Einstein.

        • Rutlander
          January 28, 2016 at 2:06 pm

          They don’t all buy drugs with the money! A lot of it goes right to the liquor stores 🙂

        • Nancy
          January 28, 2016 at 6:34 pm

          All they need to do is walk to any of the many food pantries and kitchens around Worcester to get free meals day and night. Panhandlers buy drugs. They do not buy food. Food is passed out to everyone who comes to eat. Don’t be so naive. Don’t feed the drug beast.

  • Jon
    January 28, 2016 at 2:13 am

    Plasma

  • John
    January 28, 2016 at 12:45 am

    So when are we going to pay a couple of these bums to hang out at the end of Tracy Novick’s driveway? I think that might have been your best idea ever, Turtleboy. Like i said before I will contribute $20.

    • Wabbitt
      wabbitt
      January 28, 2016 at 11:45 am

      I’ll also kick in $20. It’s a way more worthy cause than a lot of charities.

      • February 1, 2016 at 6:34 am

        Wabbit how come you come up with all these numbers and stats and charts that show black people are worst for black people than white people yet turtle boy can call the school systems charts bs?? I’m just gunna pull a turtle boy and call all your black violence stats and charts bs you made them up and stick to those numbers in vain whenever black people want equality

        • February 1, 2016 at 6:39 am

          At the end of the day they are all made up numbers and charts that go against what your eyes tell you legit go to worcester house of corrections and just look around you see no white people actually the white people are the officers with guns is it because colored people commit more crimes despite being the minority of the country?? I know simple math doesn’t compute with you tho

    • Young Townie
      January 28, 2016 at 1:21 pm

      GoFundMe, anyone?

  • A Guy
    January 28, 2016 at 12:34 am

    They would both probably have less strain on their backs if they would only tighten the straps on their backpacks.

    And yeah, that dude’s better looking than me… his clothes make him look like a tool though.

  • Gronkmonster
    January 28, 2016 at 12:26 am

    Most of them around the city are picked up and dropped off by a Ford expedition..Older body style..Might want to look into that

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