Allow me, if you will, to rant for a moment.
I’m a Market Basket diehard. I would have my children in Market Basket if they had doctors. They have the best selection, the best prices, and the friendliest employees. It’s like shopping at Aldi’s or Price Rite, except you can’t find a guy in aisle six who will sell you his food stamps for half price. The only places I’ll go grocery shopping if I have the time, are Market Basket and Walmart. But the problem is that I live in Holden, both of those places are in Leominster (2 towns away), and finding a spot in Market Basket’s parking lot is like finding your Dad in Fitchburg on Father’s Day.
Sometimes you just have to suck it up and go to your local town grocery store, which in our case is Big Y. Shaw’s, Price Chopper, Stop & Shop, Big Y – it’s all the same shit. They’re all overpriced and terrible. None of them deserve to exist, and it should be illegal for any town to allow any grocery store that isn’t Market Basket to set up shop there. But when you’re out and about, and Mrs. Turtleboy needs you to pick up a bunch of shit because she has both crotch fruits and you owe her a favor, and you gotta be quick because you got a lot of crap to do, sometimes you have to suck it up and go to Big Y.
Well, sometime last month Big Y decided that they’re no longer doing plastic bags. I vowed I’d never go there again, because plastic bags are the greatest thing ever invented. I was born and raised in Worcester. A plastic bag was your best friend and life partner. They were your gym bag, your lunchbox, and your bathroom trashbags all rolled into one. I guarantee that every single person from Worcester who is reading this blog right now has a STASH of plastic bags that are easily accessible in their house. It’s just science.
I went in there today with a somewhat small shopping list and wanted to get in and out. They now give you the option of paying for paper bags, or bringing your own bag. So this is how I roll now when I grocery shop at Big Y, which is never.
I would rather DIE than pay $0.10 for a paper bag. I would fill this thing up and unload them into my trunk one item at a time over giving them the satisfaction of paying this de facto tax.
More than anything this is about principle. The principle of standing up to idiot liberals who are naive enough to believe that if Big Y stops using plastic bags we’ll fix global warming. That’s all this is – a stupid SJW idea about saving the planet.
Newsflash – banning plastic bags isn’t going to do dick. The reason climate change is a thing is because of carbon emissions. The largest polluters in the world are China and India. Any plan to combat climate change that doesn’t involve invading both of those countries, seizing their factories, and imposing environmental regulations on them, isn’t a real plan. It’s just fell good bullshit designed to make soccer moms in Northboro feel like they’re making a difference.
Also, since when did using exclusively paper products become a good thing? I remember growing up as a kid that saving the rainforest was all the buzz. I was told we were cutting down too many trees, but now I guess we have too many trees because they won’t stop pushing paper on us. Have you tried one of these paper straws? You literally eat half of it by the time your drink is done. I hate the people that made this happen with a passion.
A lot of people will say, “Uncle Turtleboy, you can just bring your own bags.”
Yea, and we could’ve written Al-Qaeda an apology letter after 911 too. When I’m out and about, I don’t have time to go back to my house and grab my grocery bags. I live in the middle of nowhere, far from civilization. This now requires planning ahead, which I never had to do before. Plus, those bags get disgusting too, so that’s one more chore I have to do that I didn’t have to do before. And all so that some SJWs can get the feelz. I’ll change my lifestyle and/or pay an extra tax if it means we’re actually fixing the planet. But this ain’t it chief.
Anyway, the rumor is that they’re building a Big Y in Rutland. If that happens it will be the greatest day of my life. I don’t know why they don’t have one already. Turtle riders living in Hubbarston, Oakham, Rutland, Paxton, Princeton, New Braintree, and Barre (that fake grocery store in Barre doesn’t count) don’t have a grocery store in their town, so they all have to shlep to the Big Y or Price Chopper in Gardner. Build it and it will eventually force the Big Y in Holden to go out of business and the Market Basket empire will spread as it was destined to do from the beginning.
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