If you can’t tell there is something up with this guy’s scam, then there might be no hope for you.
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Here’s a scam we found today on the Enfield, CT Open Forum Facebook page that began with this:
Wait…..what? Alright, you can tell something shady is going on here for several reasons. First of all, his name is Brandon Duby. Come up with a sketchier name than that. You can’t.
Secondly, who sells a $71 gift card to Home Depot for $40 cash? Let’s imagine just for a moment that Brandon Duby got this gift card for the holidays. Someone who loves him said, “Brandon is definitely worth more than $50, but not $75. More like $71”? Because lots of people get $71 gift cards for Christmas. Nothing shady about that!
Of course we know he didn’t buy the card himself, because obviously he wouldn’t be trying to take a $31 loss just for the fuck of it. So IF he wants us to believe that this $71 was lawfully obtained, it would mean someone gave him the gift card. Here’s a question – why would someone give a guy who doesn’t have a home a gift card to Home Depot? It’s Home Depot. You go there to buy stuff for your home. It’s the first word in the name of the store. It’s not “Tent Depot,” or “government subsidized motel depot,” or “pip shelter depot,” or “pimp my squatting shanty depot.” It’s HOME Depot. It’s like the only store it would make zero sense to give a homeless person a gift card to for Christmas.
Of course the other dead giveaway that he’s up to no good is his Facebook page:
Come on bro. If you want people to take you seriously you have to at least bend the brim of your hat. The only shocking part about these glamour shots is the lack of a Chicago Bulls logo anywhere in sight. But there’s just a 0.0% chance you look at a grown man with a ghetto pube farm growing on his face and don’t immediately jump to the conclusion that he’s trying to scam you.
Oh, and make sure you get rid of the comments from your buddies about your past history of stealing from them to feed your drug habits:
Yea, that’s not gonna help you sell that card.
Oh, and if Internet panhandling is gonna be your thing, you might wanna do something about how your name comes up on search engines. Like that time you were arrested for impregnating your 15 year old girlfriend when you were 22:
Windsor Locks police arrested the man, Brandon Duby, 22, of 104 North Main St., on Aug. 5 and charged him with second-degree sexual assault and risk of injury to a minor. He was additionally charged with failure to appear in court on Sept. 11. According to the affidavit in support of Duby’s arrest, events happened this way: On June 23, Windsor Locks police received written notification from the state Department of Children and Families that a 16-year-old girl delivered a baby boy at Manchester Memorial Hospital the previous day. DCF reported that the father of the child was a 21-year-old man, later identified as Duby.
The girl told DCF that she and Duby had been in a relationship for approximately 18 months prior to her becoming pregnant. She further stated that her parents were aware of her dating Duby and that they supported the relationship. DCF also reported that the girl’s mother said the baby would reside with her in her home and that she would help her daughter take care of the baby. During the investigation police learned that there was an active restraining order in place which prohibited Duby from contacting the girl or visiting her home. The restraining order was in effect until July 10, 2015, police noted.
Duby said his girlfriend told him she was pregnant with his baby, but that her mother wasn’t happy with the relationship and obtained a restraining order.
Yup, sounds like the “mother in law” was cool with it. Which would explain the restraining order. And when the cops got there he hid where no one would ever think to look for him:
On June 25, police visited the girl and her mother at their home. The mother told police that Duby had stopped by their home to see the baby. Police were taken to a back bedroom where they observed the girl and her baby. Police then asked the girl where Duby was and she looked toward a closet. Police ordered Duby out of the closet and placed him under arrest, charging him with violating a restraining order.
Oh yea, they’ll never think to look for you in the closet. Smart.
This was the best part:
“I just wanted to see my son,” he told police. “I plan on taking care of my son and providing for him.”
He plans on providing for him. Because lots of kids have their college paid for by Home Depot gift card scams. Definitely.
Newsflash Brandon Duby – if she was 15 and you were 21, she wasn’t old enough to legally consent to sex with you. This is also known as “rape.” That baby is the bi-product of a crime. You have no legal rights to see your rape baby, because, you’re a rapist.
But wait, there’s more from the Google machine. Like that time earlier this year he was arrested for violating probation:
Brandon Duby, of North Main Street, was arrested Jan. 20 as a result of an active violation of probation warrant which had been issued for his arrest. Police said Duby was taken into custody without incident and was held on a court-set bond of $25,000.
Or that time last year when he was arrested for not showing up to court:
Brandon Duby, 21, of North Main Street, was arrested Feb. 5 on two counts of first-degree failure to appear.
The same charge he was arrested for in 2013:
Brandon Duby, 20, of Windsor Locks, was charged with second-degree failure to appear
In case you haven’t figured out what’s happening yet, here’s the scam. Brandon Duby needs drug money. So he steals from people. Could be friends or family, or it could be breaking into homes. He does it right around Christmas so the stuff he steals can be easily returned without a receipt. But the store doesn’t give him cash. They give him store credit. And since he’s not a home owner, store credit is pretty useless at The Home Depot. That’s why he’s selling a card worth $71 for $40 cash. You get a good deal by buying stolen property, he gets a good deal by getting his next fix, and the store gets fucked so they end up jacking up the prices which in turn fucks over the rest of us.
Of course one person did offer to buy the card off of him, but he declined:
Nevertheless this fleabag had a never ending supply of supporters and enablers who rushed to his defense. First someone pointed out that he’s been posting shit like this all day:
He deleted them by accident. I hate when that happens. Lots of people delete things they post in community forums on accident. No doubt.
That’s when the morons came out in full force:
And since many of them have probably found themselves in a similar predicament, they had all sort of ideas about how he could cash it in:
Because who doesn’t know off the top of their heads the various places you can cash in a Home Depot store credit card? That’s like, ratchet 101 stuff right there.
That’s when this genius named “Jonna” gave him some new advice – bother actual customers who were spending real money in Home Depot:
Yea, it’s not like you’re begging. You’re just scouting out the “big spenders” and trying to sell them store credit, which you acquired by stealing from other people, so that you can buy more heroin. If they have a heart they’ll be cool with it. And Jonna would know better than anyone because guess where she works?
Of course she works at Home Depot. Just an employee trying to help a thief rip off her employer so he can buy drugs.
Then there was the foolproof “you don’t know him” reasoning:
Followed soon after by the “he got the court date screwed up” excuses:
The “just because he has an active warrant out for his arrest it doesn’t mean he’s a sketchball” routine:
The “we don’t know if he stole the card” crowd:
The “a friend gave him the card” hypothesis:
Because friends randomly give each other $71 gift cards to Home Depot when they don’t own homes.
The ratchet patrol also said that they’d buy the card off of him, but they can’t afford it:
Yea, everyone could use a break. So help this guy buy more drugs. Because that will help him out in the long run.
It’s cool though, because Brandon isn’t the bad guy. Corporations are:
Finally there was the fool proof “you can’t say mean things on the Internet” rationale:
It’s true. Which is why we won’t say anything about Jessie Lynn.
Because we can’t come up with anything nice to say about her lovely taste in men or her impeccable mastery of the English language. Although your post would’ve been more effective with a 100 emoji:
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