We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible: Wormtown Brewery, Union Tavern, Scavone Plumbing, Bennie’s Cafe, Craftech Restoration, JJM Insurance, Smokestack Urban Barbecue, Attorney Michael Erlich, H-S Trading Firearms, Smitty’s Tavern, Julio’s Liquors, HomeWarrantyReports.com, The Gun Parlor Range, 3B Auto, Attorney Anthony Salerno, O’Connor Insurance 24-7, Monster Movers
Want to have your business advert seen by over 1.2 million people per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer. Want to make money real fast? We will pay you cash if you bring us advertisers.
Last year we wanted to put together a book that chronicled the year in Turtleboy. Since we publish over 1,000 blogs per year we have come across soooo many dingleberries, dooshnozzles, nudniks, buttnuts, and poopsmoochers, that you sometimes forget about some of the more colorful slug rakes. That’s why we like to assemble this end of the year naughty list so we can put them all together and rank their naughtiness. It was a big hit last year with only 60 of Turtleboy’s finest, but this year the dooshnozzles have been extra naughty. There have been so many naughty boys and girls in the world of Turtleboy Sports this year that it was hard to cut down the list. We could’ve put hundreds of names on this list, but instead we narrowed it down to a special 86 for the 2015 Turtleboy Sports Naughty List Christmas Special, brought to you buy the Gun Parlor, Worcester MA.
As usual we just want to thank all the Turtle Riders out there for supporting the TBS Revolution. Last year at this time we had 4,000 followers on Facebook. Now we have 20,000 and counting. We are addicted to the truth and communicating it to the people, but none of it would be possible without the support of Turtleboy Nation.
Make no doubt about it – this IS a Revolution. It’s a revolution in the way people consume the news. People have been denied the truth for too long and now they’re getting it as they read Turtleboy on the train ride into work, while they’re in a terribly boring meeting, and especially while they’re on the throne. As newspapers like the Telegram continue to cut staff and decrease their coverage, we grow in size and increase the news we uncover.
The books are now on sale, and the Turtleboy elves will start delivering them this week. They are $10 each and 3 for $25. Quite frankly you’d be insane not to get these for a loved one. Turtleboy pities the fool who doesn’t wake up on Christmas morning with the Naughty List in their stocking.
A lot of turtle riders are new to the Revolution. If you started reading Turtleboy in September or October, you missed SO MANY big stories from earlier in the year. Because what you’ve seen recently is what we do 24/7/365. This book is the PERFECT way for you to play catch up on Turtleboy Sports.
Note – this picture is NOT what the finished book looks like – it’s just a template for the cover.
To purchase a book it’s really simple. Just send the money via PayPal to firstname.lastname@example.org. Give us an address to ship them to and they will be under your tree in no time. The Turtleboy elves deliver free of charge to the following towns: Worcester, Auburn, Oxford, Leicester, Spencer, Charlton, Paxton, Rutland, Holden, Sterling, Princeton, West Boylston, Boylston, Shrewsbury, Northboro, Grafton, Millbury, Sutton, Northbridge, Webster, Westboro. For any other location please just add on $3 for shipping and handling.
If you don’t have PayPal, sign up for it because it takes two seconds. If you don’t feel like making your life and everyone else’s easier, then feel free to email us at email@example.com or message us on Facebook and we’ll make other arrangements.
Here is this year’s naughty list.
86. Ed Augustus – Worcester City Manager
85. Wedding proposer at wedding
84. Jonny Gomes
83. Pools by Andrews
82. Baltimore riot boy
81. Kanye West
80. Ann Marie Shea – WSU professor noise enforcer
79. Albert Haynesworth and the Santa Maria’s
78. Michael Bergin – Masshole “Moby Fucking Dick” Malden
77. Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao
76. Deb Powers – Mother of the year
75. Dicky Rushton – Overweight Worcester City Councilor
74. Britt McHenry – ESPN mean girl
73. Jared Fogle
72. Lenny Zalauskas – Worcester Teacher’s Union corrupt president
71. Springfield hippies/protesters
70. Saida Grundy – racist BU Professor
69. Keely Mullen – Free college genius
68. Kristi Rucci – West Boylston Mom
67. Joe Curtatone – Somerville Mayor
66. Husniyah Anderson – Woman who got beat up by bus driver
65. Derek Thomas – Worcester’s most infamous drunk
64. Jonathan Butler – Missouri hunger striker
63. Joe Petty – useless suit Mayor of Worcester
62. Doherty High school grab ass boy
61. Main South Tedeschi’s Police Video
60. Ted Wells – Roger Goodell lawyer for hire
59. Joyce McNickles – the angry woman who married Old Balls
58. Kim Malpass – Foster mother from hell
57. Sabrina Dudish (girl who boinked Julian Edelman)
56. Tobie Stevens – girl who shakes her own coffee
55. Jackie Coakley and Rolling Stone
54. Vida Ofori Causey – Woman who stole $3.4 million in food stamps
53. Samantha Allen – Telegram “reporter,” Turtleboy plagiarizer
52. Josh Fenton – GoLocalWorcester “I own the news” owner
51. Jordan Berg Powers – man boobs turtle hating hippie
50. Peter Elenbaas – Lincoln-Sudbury Athletic Director
49. Rachel Dolezal – Michael Jackson of black lives matter
48. Shayanna Jenkins – Aaron Hernandez baby momma
47. Nathan Pickens – dumb shit Mosaic product
46. Tara Carson – Mom from Marcy’s Diner
45. Carenza Jackson – Vernon Hill Elementary Principal
44. Missouri Professor Melissa Click
43. George Carpenter – ex-husband of Fenway Park bat accident
42. Murdock Middle School bullies
41. Cecil the Lion
40. Felger and Mazz – radio agitators
39. WANDA – Asian chick slave trader
38. Jen Roy – Turtleboy late night dirty talk
37. Haley Gordon – Northampton woman who makes fun of special needs
36. Kalen Rahim – would be Trump assassin
35. Confederate flag people
34. Josh Duggar
33. Tracy Crowe and Kevin Hayes – Spencer-East Brookfield School District empty suits
32. White dress people
31. Get Down Productions, Matt Money and the other guy – Liven Goooooo-ooooo-ooooo-oooooddd
30. Theresa Pickens – Road race cheater
29. Old Balls – delusional geriatric Telegram blogger
28. Indiana Walmart Devil Child
27. Sharlene Simon – Canadian woman suing family of the kid she killed
26. Bruce Jenner
25. Bills Mafia
24. Courtney Nicholopolous – Auburn gang bang Madame
23. Ryan Madelle and Jillian Keans – Spencer’s Bonnie and Clyde
22. Melinda Boone
21. Jase Dillan – Newbury Street psychopath
20. Luke Gatti – UConn bacon jalapeno mac and cheese boy
19. Sarai Rivera – fake pastor/city councilor/psychopath
18. Greg Hardy
17. Peter Rondon – Trump terrorist
16. Mosaic Cultural Complex
15. Brockton Fair pregnant woman
14. Bob Kravitz – made up Deflategate
13. Roxbury protesters
12. Jessica Conway – Ava Conway’s birth mother
11. Lisa Dyer – North High Principal
10. Tracy Novick – least popular person in Worcester’s history
9. Noah McKenna and the I-93 Protesters
8. Clock Boy Ahmed Mohammad
7. Clive McFarlane – one trick pony columnist
6. Baby Gangsta – Braintree Celtics stabber
5. Roger Goodell
4. Hampton Beach
3. Joe Amoroso – Bella Bond sperm donor
2. College protesters
1. Kelley Square 4 – RBG, Kreepy Kevin Ksen, Boom-Boom Connor, Orange Julius Jones
We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.
Want to have your business advert seen by over 1.2 million people per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.