All-Star Criminals

Joe Andrade, Cambridge Firefighter With Fists Of Fury Traps, Beats Girlfriend In Car In Cambridge Parking Lot Near MIT

Usually people get into public service because they’re selfless and want to aid others; people like Joe Andrade do it to mask the darkness within









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A Cambridge, Massachusetts, firefighter is facing charges after allegedly assaulting a woman Tuesday night.

Joseph Andrade, 29, of Cambridge, was arraigned Wednesday in Cambridge District Court on two counts of assault and battery on a household or family member and one count of witness intimidation, according to the Middlesex District Attorney’s Office.

Bail was set at $1,500 cash and Andrade was ordered to stay away from and have no contact with the victim. His bail was then revoked due to another open case. He is scheduled to be back in court on April 19.”

OK – this  one really gets my goat. Here you have a public servant, a man who is trained to run into burning buildings with no regard for his own life, for complete strangers; someone who is supposed to rescue kitty cats from trees and shovel out the fire hydrant in front of your Grandma’s house.

He was JUST sworn in as a firefighter last September.


Now, I’m not up to snuff on the prerequisites to become a firefighter. But something tells me that pending charges against you might be grounds for not having your application pushed through. To me, that says that this heavy-handed chudstuffer has racked up a slew of charges since his swearing in a mere 7 months ago. If that’s not a big red fucking fire alarm, I don’t know what is. We haven’t been able to find information on what the other pending charges are that caused his (piddly) bail to be revoked; if a Turtlerider out there has any info, we’re all ears.


He looks like your typical East Cambridge Portuguese kid, big shit eating grin and all. He needs a slap across the right cheek to even out his face a bit in the name of symmetry.

“The charges stem from an incident that occurred around 11:30 p.m. on Tuesday, when MIT police responded to a call from a university emergency phone on Main Street in Cambridge

Upon arrival, police were informed that the victim and Andrade had engaged in a verbal dispute in Andrade’s car. He allegedly began driving erratically, and the victim attempted to exit the vehicle when it was stopped at a red light. Andrade, however, held the door shut, trapping the victim.

When the victim said she was going to call police, Andrade allegedly pulled into a parking lot and physically assaulted the woman. She then exited the car and contacted police.”

He had this poor woman, who we’re assuming is his girlfriend and/or wife, trapped like a rat in a cage while he beat her. She tried to remove herself from the situation and only made it worse. I can’t imagine what must have been going through her mind at the time, and I feel awful for her. To make matters worse, when you’re a victim of domestic violence, especially when your significant other is some type of public servant, people tend not to believe you or chalk you up as “hysterical” or “overly dramatic.” I can tell you this was likely not the first time he put his hands on her, but I do hope it’s the last.


His “favorite quotes” reek of an insecure, mental midget of a man.

“I will be what I set out to be” – and what was that, Joey? A fat tub of guts in a strap T-shirt who drunkenly beats the shit out of his wife for overcooking the roast? A fucking disgrace is what you are, and what you will be and what you will continue to be. What I hope you don’t continue to be is a public servant. You don’t even deserve to be a gas jockey somewhere.

“I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn’t be a staring contest.” Except when they get too mouthy for you, right? What a fucking choad this dude is.

Feel free to send Joe a message here and let him know what you think of his moral ineptitude. You can also call the Cambridge Acting Fire Chief, Gerard Mahoney at (617) 349-4900  or send him an email here to and let him know that the citizens of Cambridge aren’t safe with a woman beater like Joe Andrade on their roster.

26 Comment(s)
  • Beanie
    April 2, 2019 at 6:32 am

    This guy “liked” me on hinge recently (2019) and thank god for google because I was able to find this article, among many others. Close call. Thank you, next!

  • Sherrie
    April 27, 2017 at 12:51 am

    This article is nothing more than slander… Poorly written by someone who only assumes they know what happened. No facts .. How can people be so quick to judge someone else and make such remarks about a person they never met!? Ever cross your minds that women isnt telling the truth? Ever heard of the phrase “crying wolf ..” Dont be so quick to assume. You’ll make an ass out of you not me. Write an article based on facts not hurtful slander out of bordem. Did anyone look up the female’s FB info and shine her in a light of being an angel? Did you even look into what type of person she was before you bash a man because he is a guy he must have done this, right!? Poor girl article.? Ever think maybe this chick is just a bar fly looking to ruin someones life .. Men are people too.. Dont judge based solely on sexual stereotypes. It’s 2017 wake up America .. Say Facts Dont assume .

  • Kimberly
    April 23, 2017 at 9:25 pm

    To the person who wrote this article I would like to congratulate you on a well written article. You have destroyed a mans reputation on fiction instead of taking the time to find out the facts. This man that you just trashed has a heart of gold and would do anything for the people he cares about. I am the first person to defend a woman who has been beaten and believe that no woman every deserves that when the woman has actually been beaten. This man who you think shouldn’t be wearing a uniform has saved countless lives. He would never put his hands on a woman. Is he perfect no. Nobody is perfect that is what makes us human. Everyone gets mad at one point in their life but that doesn’t mean they take it to an extreme. I have known this man for a very long time. This woman that you call the victim as shown above has not only done this to Joe but to someone else. You didn’t take the time to look into who she is. I would like to congratulate you again on getting this story wrong. For someone who has such an opinion on this matter I find it odd that you wouldn’t want to take the credit for it and sign your name. To the friends and family of Joe the real victim I send my support.

  • Anonymous
    April 16, 2017 at 5:45 pm

    How dare you judge someone off their Facebook page. This whole case is he said she said bullshit. Another man has already spoken up claiming to be another one of this girl’s victims so don’t be putting all the blame on him. And if he is a “woman beater” then where are her bruises? He’s a good man with a good heart. I’ve known him my whole life and you people haven’t. How fucking date you judge someone when the other person involved is also to blame. He’s done a lot of good in this world, don’t forget that.

  • Karen
    April 14, 2017 at 5:55 am

    I can not comment much on my son Joseph upcoming trail on the assault and battery case per advice of his attorney. However I will state the laws do not protect Men from such allegations on this matter. For instants a woman can self inflect bodily injury and then contact the authorities and make allegations against a significant other or even a family member it happens every day of the week. It’s so easy for a woman to obtain a restraining order however very difficult for me and to obtain a restraining order on a female.

    • Mike
      April 16, 2017 at 5:51 am

      Someone should stick a fire hose up your son’s woman-beating ass!

      • anon
        April 17, 2017 at 1:54 pm

        someone should take that same stick and shove it through you eye sockets.

  • Stacy
    April 13, 2017 at 9:42 pm

    This unfortunately is not his first rodeo pertaining to his treatment towards significant others. He can be very manipulative as well as verbally/emotionally abusive. When he’s angry he is quite a hazard on the road. I know someone who tried to get a restraining order on him years ago but the judge didn’t grant it because Joe was starting the process of getting hired on a department. I’m so relieved that this girl was able to safely get away and finally bring to light that looks/jobs can be very deceiving.

    • Karen
      April 14, 2017 at 6:03 am

      I do remember and know who you are pertaining to, but however my son’s upcoming position as a firefighter had no weight on the judges decision not to grant the restraining order against Joseph on the allegations that were made agsinst him. there was insignificant evidence to grant one i’m nowhere saying my son is perfect but however in a statement that I previously made already it is extremely easy for a woman to obtain a restraining order on a significant other there are no laws that protect men again such false allegations.

    • Carol
      April 14, 2017 at 8:44 am

      No, this is NOT his rodeo, he has a long history of anger issues that he can not control. He is manipulative mentally and will do anything to get his victims to feel badly for him, including telling them he has cancer and is in treatment.

  • Karen
    April 13, 2017 at 3:00 pm

    As Joseph’s Andrade mother I as well as our family stand beside my sons innocence and the media, as well as the general public should not be chastising my son until all the facts have been given in this matter.

    • dkp
      April 13, 2017 at 5:46 pm

      Do you really think there is an excuse to treat anyone this way?!

    • Adam
      April 13, 2017 at 6:27 pm

      A very difficult time for you and Joseph. Hopefully, people will remember he is innocent until proven guilty.
      Due process is vital for our justice system.

      • Karen
        April 13, 2017 at 6:48 pm

        Yes it is Adam A very difficult time for Joseph as well as his family members thank you so very much for your kind words the media as well as the general public I’m not giving my son a fair chance.

        • Terrence Fartknocker
          April 13, 2017 at 9:42 pm

          Ma’am, I sincerely hope you’re right and that he didn’t do it. But if he did beat a girl and kidnap her to boot, he deserves to lose his job and ought to be in a county jail.

    • Snowpeakhunter
      April 14, 2017 at 10:09 pm

      Karen. I was hoping I would find a way to reach out to you. As the previous victim of her outrageous lies, I know exactally the pain and suffering your family is going through. Best wishes to Joe and your family. This is probably a bad idea but since I don’t use the app anyway download kik and search the name I’ve listed as my name. I don’t know Joe, but give me something so that I know you’re really his mother. Not one of the million people I’m sure I’ll encounter by putting my name out there. Hopefully I hear from you soon.

      • Anon
        January 27, 2019 at 2:47 pm

        PLEASE Check ur KiK

  • Mr. T
    April 13, 2017 at 1:11 pm

    Joe is an insult to fire fighters, women, the Red Sox, Frank Sinatra, Bob Marley and Cam…
    well maybe not Cambridge.

  • Justin
    April 13, 2017 at 9:58 am

    This clown came up to me at a Social Boston Sports party in January and basically ordered me to serve him a beer (I was standing outside on the deck next to his box of Coronas….Haha, I know right). I told him he needed to be more polite and then, unsurprisingly, he started getting all tough and shit. So, I picked up the Corona (last one in the box) and chucked it into the woods. It felt great then but it feels even better now.

  • Strata
    April 13, 2017 at 8:34 am

    Will the right thing happen, and this person be fired? You can’t have an out of control animal working in a public facing job. Sorry, you lost that right. You didn’t lose your right to work however, so go get a job in another line of business. That’s fair

  • True Reality Speaks
    April 12, 2017 at 11:03 pm

    Well, if firefighting doesn’t work out for this woman beater – he can always run against Moses Dixon in the Democrat primary for state representative in Worcester.

    • Rightwinger
      April 13, 2017 at 1:09 am

      Or at least maybe Bill O’Reilly could take him on as an intern!

  • Napoleon Complex ?
    April 12, 2017 at 8:43 pm

    Macho-coward woman beater, one of the lowest vermin on the planet. Terminate it.

  • Rightwinger
    April 12, 2017 at 8:26 pm

    Probably a Trump supporter too!

    • Anon
      April 16, 2017 at 7:47 pm

      Irrelevant as fuck

  • April 12, 2017 at 7:49 pm

    don’t like the look of those rings…on the plus side i guess he could administer CPR to his victims!

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